No, this is Patrick.

[whistling]

Is this the Krusty Krab?

No, this is Patrick.

[whistling]

Is this the Krusty Krab?

No, this is Patrick!

I am not a Krusty Krab.

Uh Patrick, that's the name of the restaurant.

Huh?

Fish paste!

The Elastic Waistband,

able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms.

I can finally touch my toes.

[laughing]

Lunch!

[cheering]

By the power of Neptune,

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy unite!

Creatures of the deep, assemble!

[groaning]

Think harder, Barnacle Boy.

Here they come!

[buzzing]

Oh my, this purse is so big and heavy.

Hold it right there, ma'am. I'll be taking that.

[screaming]

Help! Help! Help!

It's working!

Why, are you here to rescue little old me?

Pipe down!

You're gonna wake Mermaid Man and he's ornery when his nap is disturbed.

Alright, put the money in the bag!

Put it in!

Um, you're facing the wrong way, sir.

[giggling]

Alright, give me the money!

Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir?

Uh, savings.

May I please see some identification?

- Sure, there you go. - Thank you.

Keep a sharp lookout, SpongeBob.

According to the map, we're close to the first landmark.

Captain, we're about to hit...

I mean, arg captain, arg, we're arg, about, arg, to hit...

Out with it man, arg!

I, arg, think, arg

he's trying, arg, to say--

Land.

Arg.

From now on, only the Captain says arg.

Look Patrick, a real live ghost mop.

And I got this hat.

We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree.

So I want this ship to look good and scary.

You mean you want it to look good... and scary?

- Well, I think we can probably-- - No, no.

I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary.

Look, it's easy, it simply means--

Get moving!

♪ Is a wonderful life A wonderful life for sure! ♪

Are you ready for the big rush, Patrick?

Pretty soon those hungry customers will be lining up,

because we are open.

I'm ready!

I'm ready!

I'm ready!

Patrick, how long have we been sitting here?

Aww, I gotta draw a new battery for this

People, people, settle down.

OK now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?

- Do instruments of torture count? - No.

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

Horseradish is not an instrument either.

Alright. Squidward, are you ready?

I'm ready!

OK! Patrick, are you ready?

[drumming]

Plankton, are you ready?

[crickets chirping]

Plankton? Plankton!

Uh, I'm ready?

[music playing]

That poor guy.

What's so funny?

You are! And the fact that you think you have any idea what it takes

to put on a musical tour.

We have a tour bus, sound equipment,

a roadie.

You call that a tour bus?

You call this sound equipment?

That's not a roadie. This are roadies.

[shrieking]

Come on, now. Tell the class your name.

Don't be nervous.

[moaning]

We just want to know your name.

[moaning]

42.

[laughing]

Oh great, another genius.

By the all-seeing eye,

we are worthy, we are not.

What are you two idiots doing?

- Secret ritual. - To inaugurate you as president.

You're the president of

The Secret Royal Order of the Good Neighbor Lodge.

The what?

Oh, is this some stupid club you two made up?

[gasping]

[giggling]

Maybe.

These are my cephalopod robes.

[giggling]

They sure aren't.

They're your uniform for your new lodge.

Welcome to the first official meeting of...

The Feather Friends.

Feather Friends?

Somebody already had Feather Buddies.

Yeah, those Feather Buddies better hope they don't

run into us in a dark alley.

[sneezing]

It appears are though we have to plug up these holes.

This ought to do the trick.

Voila!

[sneezing]

- Feel better? - I don't know.

[sneezing]

Help! I'm shrinking!

No, please don't hurt me!

No bubbles.

Patrick, your treatment is working.

- You think so? - Sure!

At this rate I'll be cured in no time.

In fact, I'm gonna call Sandy and tell her not to come.

Thanks, Dr. Patrick.

And they said I would never make anything out of myself.

Hey, SpongeBob!

Yes, sire?

I need your opinion on something.

Do you think the giant flat screen TV should go

over the fancy egg display or the indoor swimming pool?

Isn't this exciting, Patrick?

To think we'll be watching the joust this close up!

You won't be watching the joust, you're in the joust.

- Pat, do you know how to ride a seahorse? - Na-uh.

SpongeBob, help!

Take his head off!

[screaming]

I don't suppose now would be a good time to ask for a bathroom break?

[screaming]

♪ Hark! Ring the bell 'Tis all ended well ♪

♪ The dragon is vanquished The princess returned ♪

♪ And only a few of us got badly burned ♪

Order up!

Everything's ruined!

Well, at least we got the footage.

Yeah, I got the footage.

Patrick, what is that?

Oh, it's a camera.

- No Patrick, this. - Oh, that's a lens cap.

Did you just put that on?

No, I didn't want to lose it,

so I put it there right before we started filming.

[screaming]

The Krabby Patties, they taste so nice,

that they... taste nice.

Hey, that was my slogan.

Great stuff, huh? This guy is gonna be a star.

I'm already a star.

That's the attitude.

Patrick!

Hi, Mommy! Hi, Daddy!

Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you?

We're SpongeBob's Mom and Dad, not yours.

What? I'm an orphan?

Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test.

That's great, Patrick.

SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it.

Oh, we know how to stay clear of that mine field.

Mom!

Well, I've gotta take Mr. Walks A Lot back home.

- He's always asking for rides. - Hey!

Even Patrick has a license.

And to help watch out for Plankton,

I've hired some extra security.

You hired Patrick?

What? You expect me to spend money on a real security guard?

You're my first line of defense, Patrick.

So look out for any suspicious characters.

Yes, sir.

Who are you? And who are you working for?

Plankton doesn't stand a chance.

Quick Patrick, use the jet pack!

Can do!

[screaming]

Phew. Huh?

[screaming]

[screaming]

What brilliant slogans have you come up with this week, Patrick?

[grunting]

You're supposed to be coming up with witty catchphrases

to keep that rabble out there happy.

"Chum is Fum".

We've kind of got that one already.

Oh, I like that one!

Oh, well. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Representing the Chum Bucket,

a creature so fearsome,

so terrible, so mind-bendingly large,

that those of you with weak constitutions may want to leave the stadium.

- I gotta get outta here! - Too late!

Ready or not, here he comes.

Quake with fear, you mortal fools.

Bow down before the awesome might of...

This huge guy who is carrying the real contestant,

Patrick Star!

Patrick, what are you doing here? You're not a fry cook.

Oh, yes I am, Mr. SpongeBob SuperiorPants.

Check it out!

I've been working for the Chum Bucket for almost five minutes.

Well, it doesn't matter anyway, 'cause you're gonna eat my dust

Nuh-uh. I'm eating my own dust!

Not if I eat it first!

Who will take home the gold?

Mr. Krabs of the Krusty Krab?

Don't forget, he called ye yellow.

Or Plankton of the Chum Bucket?

Don't forget, he called you pink!

[groaning]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

Don't forget, he called you pink!

and he's the, uh, Pink Patty.

[gasping]

And together we are...

The Krusty Krushers.

Now go out there and wrestle me up a million dollars!

[giggling]

This is going to be so fun.

- Yeah! - Woo!

- Yeah! - Woo!

- Yeah! - Woo!

- Yeah! - Woo!

Oh...

Nice kitty.

Here kitty, want a sausage?

A nice delicious...

Tasty...

Sausage!

[growling]

Sport of a gefilte fish!

Ice cold lemonade!

Get your ice cold, tasty and refreshing and also ice cold--

Hey! Everyone stops for free lemonade!

Hey there, I noticed your hat. Are you an artist?

- I sure am. - Do you have any art?

I have a real craving for creativity.

Uh, OK.

- Art. - Thanks, man.

Here's 50 bucks.

Right here is where are the biggest

business decisions in the business are made.

Why, if an imposter were to be caught in here, hm.

He'd be given a sandwich and sent on his way?

No, he'd be convicted as a corporate spy,

and sent to jail for ever and ever and ever.

Hey, where you going?

I think I forgot to water my manatee, I'll just--

Gentlemen. Ladies.

Where am I?

You will be washing dishes today.

What do you think of that?

Oh, I had a thought once.

[radio static]

[laughing]

Ooh, you sure put the goofy in goober.