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by about about a bump at a bar, but I thought that a Jimmy Kimmel Live, I think the ambulance I again, it's Jimmy checking in from home.
My daughter made the opening for me.
Case you're wondering if our graphics team is OK.
They are.
I hope you are OK, too.
This is my daily mini log from beautiful downtown Quarantine.
Where remember when we used to think we'd never get all the shows on Netflix?
Well, now we have.
And of course, while we are stuck inside, there's a lot going on outside.
The United States and Canada temporarily closed the border to all non essential travel.
After CDC released a warning saying that the Corona virus can survive on the surface of a moose for up to nine days, Trump said the move was being done by mutual consent.
So finally he's getting consent, and Canada was like, You know what?
Honestly, we belonging to close the border with you guys for quite a few years now, so this works out so we are social, distancing ourselves from Canada now, and they from us.
Trump, meanwhile, has a catchy little nickname for the growth of ours.
He now calls it the Chinese virus Every chance he gets because, you know, they say a great way to prevent a virus from spreading is to name it something racist.
We people keep it on the down low.
I don't know why he does this.
Actually do.
Know why does it's to deflect blame away from him.
It's like when he started calling Eric and Don Jr the of Ana kids.
We are Right now.
We are basically living through a disaster movie in which the president is being played by Gary Beause e.
Meanwhile, Steve Cecil Act, the governor of Nevada, took decisive action.
He ordered all hotels and casinos in Vegas and other gaming cities in the state to close down for a month.
So if you feel the need to gamble on something, lick, adorn up, do not go to Las Vegas.
The governor made a powerful speech and the president was jealous, and I don't blame it, really Closing down casinos.
That's Donald Trump's thing.
The state of Nevada has started a hashtag to encourage people not to go out.
Stay home for Nevada, But don't just stay home from Nevada, stay home for yourselves and for everyone.
And that message is especially directed at older people, many of whom, I found are not taking this seriously.
I don't know about you but some of the people in my own family and you know who you are.
If you're watching, think it's OK to go to Pallotti's now because they wipe down the machines or to go to the D.
M V this week, which is a disgusting place to go when there's no virus to worry about.
And then you yell at them, you gang up on them, but they don't listen, which is going to force us to do something drastic.
Something we don't want to do, like taking blue bloods away.
You want that to happen?
Don't make us take donning Walberg from you because we will stay at home, I guess because we never had anything like this before.
Nobody really knows how to handle how to stay.
Normal had a kind of schedule yourself, so I thought I'd lay out a kind of a suggested framework for your day First, I think it's important, very important to put on pants at some point for at least two hours a day.
You just have to.
My wife is actually suggesting a formal Friday where you get all dressed up for dinner.
Even if you're alone, maybe we'll do that.
Think about that.
If you have kids, please don't post pictures of your child's daily schedule.
It makes the rest of us who are letting their kids playing the iPad all day feel bad.
You can watch up to three movies or five TV shows per day.
That's it.
Then you have to read or write.
Maybe it's a good time to find a pen pal in prison.
If you do need time away from your family, the inside of your car, I have found, is a great place to scream.
And finally make sure to check in on your loved ones daily virtually, which is something that I am going to do right now.
So let me see.
I gotta figure out how to do this.
Okay, here we go.
Okay.
Give me how you doing?
Can you hear me?
Don't you mean what are you eating with it?
What?
What is that?
Up up all moans peanuts and and I'm nuts.
You got it from Costco?
Yeah, I got them from Costco.
What?
Did you go to Costco?
I went to Costco last week.
It was crazy.
And you already ate all those nuts, huh?
Yeah, I have been on for, like, four or five days.
You're like a stir kissed elephant.
What you've been doing the past the time, Guillermo.
Well, Jimmy, early in the morning, I go, What?
My talks That I go for a walk to the park.
You do by yourself?
Yeah.
I just want my cell.
Yeah, it's boring.
You know, I go to 7 11 and get get the newspaper and get my coffee, you know, And then come back real quick.
And you know what?
You're not supposed to be going to 7 11 I know, but I just go real quick.
And I, uh I watched my hands and everything.
A kick, mo, we've your national treasure.
We have to keep you safe.
I know.
Yeah, yeah, but you know, like I have all sanitizer in my car.
And then I come in and out when I go out and I come back home, we'll take a shower room quick.
You do?
Okay.
Have you been drinking?
Get all No, no, no drinking.
Let's go see what I'm drinking.
That work was your last night drinking?
No.
Last Thursday.
Right at work?
Yeah, I work.
It was my last year.
My nasty.
That's one of the things I love about Normally does not drink it all.
Only at work, No, only drink of work.
You know, it is crazy, and it's funny.
It is unbelievable, but yeah, only work.
I only drink money to thirsty.
Will you do me a favor?
I want to see what you're up to when you go to 7 11 So next time you go havoc in your camera rolling and just I want to see the whole thing.
Okay?
I want to make sure you're being safe.
Okay.
All right.
I'm okay.
And then we'll check back in with you, okay?
All right.
No problem.
Give me How's the family?
Benji's good.
Big is good, Reggie.
Oh, he's having the best time of his life.
Is he?
Yeah, Well, Monday he wake up on 11.
20 yesterday.
Work up like 11.
45 megawatt.
10.
You wake up today?
Well, it's Yeah, like crazy.
So I have about the morning free to go for a walk with the dogs.
And, you know, I said, All right.
Well, Guillermo, you know, every day I'm going to be making a donation to a worthwhile cause.
And today I will be donating hope that people join me and donating to the American Red Cross.
Okay.
All right.
We're always there for us.
We must be there to support them.
So I'm putting that.
We're putting that up on the screen right there, there.
And Ah, I hope that you donate to the Red Cross.
Hope that you stay safe.
Don't do what Guillermo does.
Don't go to 7 11 I can't believe I'm gonna call you back in yellow.
You after this.
But thanks for watching.
We'll be back with another mini log tomorrow.
Sig, abide everybody, Guillermo.
Goodbye, Everybody.
Stay safe.