Toe, nofriendsbymyside, nobodytocelebrateWhatshouldhavebeen a joyoustimeoftheyear.
As I walkedthroughthestreetoffbolognabymyself, all I sawaroundmewashappiness.
Happycouples, smilingfamilies, laughing, Childrenwitnessingthejoyoffatherswhenmyownheartwasenvelopedin a seaofflonelinessPierce.
Mysoulhedoesisifthecoldwinterwindhadpeeredintomyhearttoremindmethatmylifewasvoidoffwallsbutoffjoyfortheflightandallbecause I made a decisiontoleavebehindeverything I hadworkedforeverything I ownandeverythinginmylife.
Andboy I'd leftbehindsomuch I usedtolivethekindofglamorouslifemanypeoplewould.
I wasaninternationalsupermodel.
WalkingthecartwalksoffMilan, Parismoderate.
I wasmarriedto a dashingmanwhowasalsoabout I ownthreecompaniesandlivedin a beautifulhome.
I hadthelifedreamsweremadeoff, butdespitehavingallofthat, I wasdepressed.
I feltlikemylifehadnomeaning.
Andthat's whyoneday I justdecidedtoleaveeverything.
I leftmymarriage.
I leftthehousetomyhead's husband.
I alsoleftmytreecompanieswithouttakinganymoneyorshares.
Ontopofthat, allmyfriendsabandonedmebecausetheythought I hadgonecrazy.
Nobodycouldseehowunhappy I reallywaas.
Nobodycouldseethedream I wantedformyselfbecausetoeverybodyelse I wasalreadylivingthedream, and I shouldalreadybehappy.
Sowhen I walkedawayfromthatlife, nobodysupport.
Theonlything I hadwasthedeterminationtobuild a wholenewlife, a life I couldbeproud, alivethatwouldholdmoremeaningthananempty, glamorousshell.
Butthepathwasnot.
He's.
I wasnotequippedwithtoolstonavigatethesuddenchangesinmylifebyattemptstorunworkshopsas a motivationalcoach.
We'renotdoingverywell.
I wasstrugglingtothat.
Studentsinmysavingsweredwindlingdownfast.
That's why, onthetwintreeChristmasEveonthestreetsofBologna, Italy, I hitrockbottom.
As I sataloneinmysmallapartment.
Thatnight, I beganquestioningmydecisions.
Had I reallygonecrazy, did I reallythrowawayeverythinggoodinmylife?