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  • by about a bump that up, but I thought that I Jimmy Kimmel live three ambulance.

  • Hi, it's Jimmy.

  • I hope you and your friends and your family are a swell as could be expected in our new post apocalyptic world.

  • We're not on live this week for obvious reasons, but since I have nothing to do and the fact that you're watching this makes me assume you have nothing to do, I'm going to shoot a mini monologue every day until we get back from my house, where I am currently incarcerated.

  • I mean camping out with my family.

  • You know, you learn a lot about yourself when you're isolated.

  • At home, for instance, I learned that I have two young Children, which was really something to find out.

  • Thank God for television.

  • My blood type right now is Disney positive or Disney, plus whatever they call it.

  • We've watched frozen too more times than the animators who drew it.

  • Havlat frozen to.

  • I'm actually hiding in my office right now from my Children.

  • We've run out of snacks we've run out of crafts to do.

  • We made macaroni necklaces yesterday.

  • Today I ate them for lunch.

  • That's how bad it's getting.

  • Here's something I learned.

  • This is a very good tip.

  • Did you know that you can make coffee at home for yourself?

  • It's crazy.

  • I even spelled my name right on the cup, which was amazing.

  • So anyway, yesterday, our president, Donald Trump, gave himself a 10 out of 10 for the way he's handled.

  • This situation gave himself a 10 which, incidentally, is the same amount of testing kits that are currently available in the United States right now.

  • And then, Trump told people us to stop hoarding unnecessary amounts of food.

  • That's right, this man, this individual would like you to take it easy with the food.

  • So please, by order of the president, take it easy with the food.

  • This is an especially tough day to stay home, obviously, because it's ST Patrick's Day and I do want to say Happy ST Patrick's Day, not just to, ah, our Irish friends and the Irish Americans watching, but all alcoholics everywhere and happy return of the potato famine to So Tom Brady, for whatever reason, chose today Saint Patrick State to announce he's leaving the Patriots.

  • And for people from Boston, this is like if Santa died on Christmas.

  • This is terrible, but Tom tweeted a message to his fans saying he is forever a patriot no matter what any is, except for next season and for every other season he plays after that.

  • So it is a tough ST Patty's Day in New England for sure.

  • Just because the world is almost completely shut down doesn't mean you can have some fun.

  • I always find ways to have fun, so I came up with a few ideas for how you could celebrate ST Patty's from the sanitized safety of your home.

  • All right.

  • First, you could do you put on a festively covered shirt like I did today.

  • I get a shirt.

  • I wear it once a year.

  • Next you can get get.

  • This is brand.

  • You get some food coloring and you can die.

  • Ah, bottle of hand sanitizer green.

  • You'll never get it off your hands, but it's festive nonetheless.

  • You could dress your kids like leopard cons and try to catch them.

  • And, of course, you could get drunk.

  • Listen, there are no great ways to celebrate ST Patrick's Day at home, but it is an opportunity for me, anyway to rewatch the greatest local news story of all time, and that is a lepre con sighting in, of all places, Mobile, Alabama.

  • Curiosity leads to large crowds and mobiles.

  • Crichton community Many of you brain binoculars can quarters even camera phones to take pictures.

  • So me and the lack of level coming to me I do look up in a tree eye.

  • Witnesses say the leper con on Lee comes out at night.

  • If you shine a light in its direction, it suddenly disappears.

  • This cemetery sketch resembles what many of you say the leper con looks like.

  • Others find it hard to believe and have come up with their own theories and explanations for the image.

  • Good.

  • Crack it around stuff.

  • And it told me, Get up in a tree.

  • Play electrical.

  • Well, if that doesn't cheer you up, forget it.

  • I mean, you know, I'll be back to check in tomorrow.

  • Maybe we'll check in with Guillermo tomorrow at his house to see how his quarter teen is going.

  • In the meantime, please stay home.

  • Be safe.

  • Wash your hands, wash your feet, wash everything and not just during this time wash all the time.

  • And if you want to be of service.

  • You can join me every day.

  • I'm gonna make a donation, Teoh.

  • Different work while caused today.

  • That cause is no kid hungry.

  • Uh, that's where you can visit them on the web.

  • They make sure kids don't go hungry.

  • And with schools being closed, that is especially important right now.

  • So please consider giving to them.

  • Really.

  • The only way we're gonna get through this is by sticking together while, of course, remaining at a CDC approved distance of at least six feet apart.

  • So hang in there.

  • Happy ST Patrick's Day on.

  • I will see you tomorrow.

by about a bump that up, but I thought that I Jimmy Kimmel live three ambulance.


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ジミー・キンメルの検疫ミニローグ - 子供、トランプ、トム・ブレイディ&セント・パトリックス・デイとのホーム (Jimmy Kimmel’s Quarantine Minilogue - Home with Kids, Trump, Tom Brady & St. Patrick’s Day)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日