because we talk a fair amount about soccer.

You're a Liverpool fan. And I know you've

talked about this and how heartbreaking it is.

You were basically on your way

to your first Premier League title,

and I feel like a jinx because I waited and waited and waited

until it seemed like it was the safest...

-Yeah. -...the safe, was so locked up,

and I feel like I blew it for you.

-It's not just that -- it's not just that

they were so close to winning it.

Well, it is that.

But it's also they were winning it so beautifully.

-So convincingly, and it felt like nothing could stop them.

Now you think, short of a global pandemic,

but a global pandemic, you know, is a hell of an opponent,

and it turns out it really shuts some [bleep] down.

-Yeah. -Yep.

-It is not -- it is not the thing I am saddest about...

-No, nor should it be. -...but I want you to know

I saved a little piece of sadness for it.

-I appreciate that.

It's just they deserve it so much.

And obviously, obviously, when you inject just the modicum

of perspective, it doesn't matter, it will never matter.

But, you know, as a sports fan,

perspective doesn't come naturally, does it?

-No. -You have to kind of --

You have to really convince yourself, "This doesn't matter.

This is just adults playing a game.

It's okay. It doesn't matter.

I should not be more upset about this

than I am about other things in my life."

However -- I remember -- I remember --

Do you remember that World Cup game?

[ Laughs ] -Yeah.

-I remember your instinctive reaction

after realizing that Holland had just been knocked out,

was to say, "I love my wife. My brother's my best friend."

-[ Laughs ] -Not like you felt it.

More like, "I need to walk myself back through this."

And, boy, boy, did I identify with that.

"I gotta go through the checklist here

to get myself back into being a rational,

functioning human being." -But that is the joy of it.

I think the only reason to like sports

is to give yourself a thing... -Yes.

-...where you check rationale at the door.

-Of course. That's the beauty of escapism, right?

-You think you can't possibly -- I can't, I still --

I'm a relatively balanced human being.

Even coming out, that sounds wrong.

But I can kind of talk to anybody,

but I cannot talk to athletes.

I can't. I just have nothing in common.

They still have a god-like --

I went to see Liverpool just when they did

a preseason game just before this season.

And I just -- I couldn't handle it.

I couldn't handle it at all.

I went down to the dressing room,

and they were all coming out.

Klopp came out, and I couldn't --

You know, I couldn't say anything to him.

Jordan -- I tried to talk to Jordan Henderson for a bit,

didn't really work. And then -- but this is true.

I can't remember if I told you this.

Virgil van Dijk walked out,

and he looked at me, and he said, "Zazu."

I went, "What?" [ Both laugh ]

"What are you talking about?"

He went, "Oh, Zazu -- I love 'The Lion King.'"

And I said, "You don't have any children,"

which is not information that, as a stranger,

I should be, like, throwing in his face.

He went, "No, I just like 'The Lion King.'

I recognized you as Zazu."

So, you know, I guess that was good.

It was a connection of sorts.

It gave us something to talk about.

-So, you're saying that not a single person

on the Liverpool squad complimented you

for your deep dives on, say, voting rights?

Not one? Just Zazu?

-I mean, honestly, when Adam Lallana walked out,

I thought he was about to say something about gerrymandering,

but I don't know. He just...

[ Both laugh ]

I think he wanted to talk about watches instead.

-[ Laughs ]