Soon it will be your 40th birthday, and today I would like to tell you the story of the great white whale of a birthday present.

I have been maniacally chasing for the last 14 months like Herman Melville's captain A have before me.

I couldn't stop chasing the dream even as it destroyed me.

And now here we are.

So, Hank, our story begins back in 2010 when I discovered the cinema jig thes toys sing when you squeezed them and they either seeing a series of notes or when placed in a different mode, they sing an actual song like this.

One plays when the Saints go marching in et cetera.

Now many singing gigs were produced, and they played a variety of different songs.

There was a pink one that played Skip to My Lou, a green one that played London Bridge is falling down and so on.

There were also seasonal cinema jigs like Christmassy ones that sing Jingle Bells, and there were cinema jigs that held smaller cinema jigs that could harmonize together for a toy that was never particularly popular.

Fisher Price made a huge variety of these things.

I mean, there's 1/4 of July cinema jig that plays the U.

S national anthem.

But, Hank, if you go to the cinema Jig Wiki, which I recommend everything about and you dig long enough, you will discover that almost a decade ago, Fisher Price released a set of three cinema Jiggs called The Hits.

They were for sale only at Tesco's in the United Kingdom and only for a very limited time.

But one of them, Hank, one of them played Smash Mouth's All Star.

This is the all star cinema jig, the cinema jig Hank that plays the song that has obsessed your days and nights for decades.

I mean, hanky wants very seriously proposed to me that we make a 478 part video series analyzing each of the 478 shots in the music video for All Star.

You're on record saying that the remixing and reimagining of All star by the Internet is one of your favorite things about online culture.

And who could blame you All Star and the Internets?

Responses to it are like the ultimate marriage of the sublime and the ridiculous, and so much of our brotherhood has been about finding and sharing the places where silliness meets.

Wonder.

So clearly I had to find an all Star singing magic for you for your 40th birthday.

Just two problems.

One.

There aren't very many of them.

And two, they must be amazing because the people who have them really don't wanna part with them.

Hank, I don't know how much you know about the ruthless world of cinema jig collection, but on two separate occasions I've been ripped off by people who claim to have the all Star singing magic but turned out not to.

And then earlier this year I face time with someone who showed me their all star singing magic.

And I told them the whole story about me and you and my great love for you and your great love for the song All Star.

And we agreed upon a price.

And then the collector decided at the last moment that no, no, they just couldn't part with their All star singing the jig.

Perhaps Melville said it best when he wrote of the All Star cinema jig.

There is one knows not what sweet mystery behind this cinema jig.

Who's gently awful stirring seemed to speak of some hidden soul beneath.

For here in this all star cinema jig, millions of mixed shades, drowned dreams, an Ambu ISMs, referees all that we call lives and souls lie dreaming, Dreaming, Hank, I am sorry that I have failed to get you the singing magic that contains all that we call lives and souls.

I hope you have a happy birthday nonetheless.

Also, if you have any ideas for what I could get Hank instead Or if you happen tohave an all star cinema jig Let me know, Hank.

The years start coming and they don't stop coming.

I'll see you on Friday.