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  • (school bell rings)

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Hi honey, how was your test?

  • - I got an A.

  • - Ugh, that is so great.

  • I'm so proud of you, sweetie!

  • - Thank you.

  • Wait, if you're over here,

  • then that means--

  • - Yeah, the mean cafeteria worker's on register.

  • (dramatic music)

  • - Wipe that smirk off your face.

  • - I don't think I need lunch today.

  • - What are you smiling for?

  • You tryna steal this apple?

  • - No, I'm tryna buy it!

  • - Oh, you think I'm stupid?

  • Is that what you think?

  • Hey, don't look at me when I'm talking to you

  • or I'll charge you double!

  • - Are you even allowed to do that?

  • - Oh, you think I'm a liar?

  • - No! - Is that what's going on?

  • - [Female Student] That's not--

  • - Gimme that sandwich, this is my sandwich now.

  • You don't get to eat.

  • - Make room!

  • - I'm trying!

  • - [Narrator] Every cafeteria ever.

  • - What'd you get for lunch?

  • - A turkey sandwich.

  • What'd you guys get?

  • - Salad.

  • - Salad.

  • - Salad.

  • (light accordion music)

  • - Nice!

  • So, how was everyone's--

  • (containers rumble)

  • Um--

  • I was--

  • So, TikTok!

  • Math is...

  • hard.

  • - What?

  • - Could you please stop?

  • - Can you speak up?

  • There's a lot of carbs over there.

  • I can't hear you.

  • - [Narrator] Who casually drinks milk?

  • (upbeat country song)

  • - Whoa.

  • You guys went off campus?

  • What'd you get?

  • - We got chicken nuggets,

  • and fries.

  • Why, what'd you guys get?

  • - Um, we got chicken nuggets and fries.

  • - (scoffs) That sounds lame as hell.

  • (upbeat country music)

  • - Yeah.

  • I'm so, so lame.

  • - You're so lame. - Why are we so lame, Karen?

  • - [Narrator] Well, at least it's chocolate milk.

  • (suspenseful music)

  • - All right,

  • we need to figure out school lunches for the district.

  • - Well, it needs to meet the minimum nutrition requirement,

  • right?

  • - Emphasis on minimum.

  • The least required.

  • - What so like,

  • a piece of bread and cheese and some lettuce?

  • - The lettuce isn't technically required.

  • Or the cheese.

  • - What about the second piece of bread?

  • - What is this, a charity?

  • No, one slice of bread.

  • - Do we need to pay for this?

  • (laughs demonically)

  • - Absolutely not!

  • All right?

  • These kids are going to the school 'cause

  • they don't have any other option,

  • or means to make money.

  • If they cannot pay, they go into debt!

  • School is about learning.

  • And it's high time they learned that life (beep) sucks.

  • - (Beep) sucks. Oops.

  • - [Narrator] Are these chicken nuggets,

  • or are these shards of glass?

  • (upbeat rock music)

  • - Hey David!

  • Do you mind if we sit with you?

  • - Oh, uh, no thanks.

  • - Oh! But you're always sitting alone.

  • You're like super sad and lonely.

  • - No, I'm not.

  • I kinda just like studying.

  • - Wh-- That's sad!

  • I mean, don't you want a couple of good-hearted jocks

  • to befriend you and have a good ol' buddy time?

  • - Yeah. - Yeah.

  • - Nah.

  • I just kinda wanna read.

  • - Aw, buddy.

  • It doesn't matter what you want.

  • We're gonna hang out with you,

  • whether you like it

  • or not.

  • C'mon, bros. - Hey, buddy.

  • That's really cool.

  • What're you working on man?

  • - All right bros. - We're learning some math.

  • - Let's help him with the quadratic formula.

  • - Why do you have a--? - You seem tense!

  • - Wait, why do you have letters if you're doing math?

  • - C'mon!

  • - No!

  • - I can help you get laid!

  • - [David] No!

  • - [Narrator] Sweet, my mom packed lunch bowls.

  • (sad music)

  • - What material do you think the chairs in the cafeteria

  • should be made out of?

  • - Hm, I don't know.

  • What's like the most

  • uncomfortable material in the world?

  • Like something that is complete dog (beep).

  • Like plastic, but somehow worse.

  • - Shouldn't the kids

  • enjoy and relax during their lunch hour?

  • - No. No.

  • Absolutely not!

  • We wanna be as oppressive as possible.

  • We need to break these kids' spirits down.

  • That is how we keep the children under control.

  • - This is a very rewarding job, sir.

  • - It's all about breaking their minds and spirits, really.

  • It's really quite-- It's science.

  • - [Narrator] This is not my favorite pizza place.

  • (upbeat jazzy music)

  • - Dude is that all you're getting?

  • - What do you mean? I get this every day.

  • - Dude, that's really bad for you.

  • You need like vegetables and protein and vitamins.

  • - Ugh!

  • Yeah right, dude.

  • That's gross!

  • - Your mouth is literally blue from all the candy you eat.

  • - That's not candy, dude!

  • There was nothing sweet in my house,

  • so I drank mouthwash.

  • There's still cookies left!

  • Move! Move!

  • - You just look like you're blue papa smurf.

  • - [Narrator] It's an extra two dollars for Gatorade?

  • (faint conversation)

  • - These kids are from all different cliques,

  • but they're all sitting together.

  • - That's so great.

  • They're breaking down social barriers.

  • - What?

  • No!

  • No, they're up to something.

  • Okay?

  • 'Cause if they don't hate each other over differences,

  • like hobbies or appearances,

  • do you know who becomes the enemy?

  • - The for-profit prison system?

  • - What?

  • No, us!

  • - What?

  • - Yeah. - No.

  • - Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • Yeah, we need to put a stop to this right now.

  • 'Cause if we don't, they're gonna rise against us.

  • - Pano! Mmm.

  • - Hey, what's up?

  • - They're not gonna rise against us.

  • - Yes, I'm gonna take care of this right now!

  • - No, hey, hey! Oh!

  • - Get outta here! Go!

  • Get out! Get out! - [Student] Oh my God!

  • - Go!

  • - I made those!

  • - Skeet! Skeet!

  • Hyah!

  • (breathing hard)

  • Whew!

  • I think that took care it.

  • - That'll make them not hate us.

  • - Yah.

  • - [Narrator] Thanks, Jamie Oliver.

  • - I watched The Simpson's for the first time last night.

  • - I'm sorry.

  • (gasps)

  • - Dude, check this out.

  • Food fight!

  • - Ew, no!

  • My mom just bought me this jacket.

  • - But food fight!

  • (thuds)

  • - Wow.

  • - What're you doing, dude?

  • - You're really dumb.

  • - I don't do carbs,

  • Henry.

  • - Now I don't have anything to eat.

  • You got any extra food?

  • - I have some carrot sticks.

  • - I'll just starve.

  • (beeps)

  • - This doubles as my workout for the day,

  • so I'm sorry, I'm just extra focused.

  • - I actually don't care what you're saying. (laughs)

  • - I could take away the bread!

  • Could we be friends then?

  • - No!

  • - I have an apple!

  • - Ew! That's a lotta sugar, hon.

  • - There's two kinds of people,

  • and you're the other kind.

  • (whimpers)

  • (beeps)

  • - Good. You get it.

  • You get it, and that's why I like you.

  • That's why I hired you.

  • That's why I married you.

  • That's why I divorced you.

  • And that's why we're back together,

  • tryna give it the ol' college trial,

  • try it again.

  • - Nice.

  • - All right.

  • Well, I'll see you next weekend.

  • - Palm Springs, here we come.

  • - Yeah, it's gonna be wild.

  • You got the shrooms, right? - Too cool.

  • - Ugh, you got me again.

  • See, this is why we got divorced in the first place.

  • (someone is background laughs)

  • (beeps)

  • - Well it doesn't matter what you want!

  • All right?

  • We're gonna sit with you, and be friends with you,

  • whether you like it or not, right bros?

  • - Yeah! We'll be your best friends we're gonna (beep)

  • - Give me a hug!

  • - We're gonna be your best (beep) friends!

  • Little bitch! - Slap your ass!

  • (beeps)

  • - We're doing good here.

  • We're doing good work here.

  • We are good people.

  • Really, when it comes down to it.

  • - Yes, we are.

  • You're the man.

  • - Yeah. So anyway, I'm thinking that the

  • the lunch bell should be like, at least 200 decibels.

  • And just like AHHHHHHH!

  • You know?

  • (people in background laugh)

  • (beeps)

  • - Cumon, why are you so tense?

  • - Cumon, bro! We can teach you how to dribble!

  • - His diary!

  • - [David] I know how to dribble.

  • I have a very weak lower jaw.

  • - His diary, it says "Dear Diary, subscribe to Smosh!"

  • - That's a good.

  • I know how to dribble.

  • (beeps)

  • - You failed me.

  • (clunks)

  • (people in background laugh)

  • - You're so lame,

  • you probably think this song is about you.

  • - Get outta here, Craig!

  • - Leave us alone in our misery.

  • (beeps)

  • - [Student] Is that a Pretendo?

  • - This is a Pretendo! - [Student] That's so cool!

  • - We're both over here.

  • We're playing live, Xbox Live.

  • - [Student] No way!

  • - Yeah!

  • - [Student] On your Nintendo Storage.

  • - On my Pretendo Storage.

  • (beeps)

  • - Then do you know who becomes the enemy?

  • - The for-profit prisdom sysent?

  • (laughs)

  • (beeps)

  • - The for-profit prisdom sysent?

  • (both laugh)

  • - The for-profit pris-- - Prison system.

  • (beeps)

  • - Like, something that's--

  • Sorry, had to burp.

  • (people in background laugh)

  • I was tryna hold it back.

  • I was like, "What's the most...?"

  • All right.

  • (beeps)

  • - I would rather die of starvation.

  • - You were gonna do that anyway.

  • You started off with one slice of white bread.

  • There's no nutrition in that. - I'm doin' Keto!

  • - That's not-- What?

  • (people in background laugh)

  • (beeps)

  • - 'Sup, jabronis?

  • Man, I hope you guys had such a great time

  • hangin' out in our cafeteria.

  • - Yeah, how you doin'? - Isn't that right, Bryson?

  • - That's right.

  • - Yeah, I wonder if you're hungry for some more content...

  • - Are you hungry for content?

  • - Well, guess what?

  • We're gonna serve some

  • right up there!

  • If you want that.

  • - Yeah, it's like a knuckle sandwich of videos.

  • - That's right!

  • - If you wanna...rep awesome...

  • clothing...

  • - Oh my god, dude, speed it up!

  • Bro, you're a track star!

  • - Right there. - Right there.

  • - Right over there is the store, dude.

  • - Also, I am the track star.

  • - Subscribe to this freakin' channel, dude,

  • or else we're gonna beat you up by the dumpsters,

  • but just kidding.

  • We love you. - Shut up.

(school bell rings)

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B1 中級

これまでのすべての学校の食堂 (Every School Cafeteria Ever)

  • 3 1
    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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