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  • -Welcome to "The Tonight Show at Home Edition."

  • [ Laughs ] Are you focused? -Yeah.

  • -[ Laughs ] Are you happy? -Yeah.

  • -Well, you look like you were serious.

  • Oh, I didn't See your face. -Nope.

  • -What? -I know.

  • But -- But you know what? -What?

  • -I'm pretending to because -- just want to.

  • -Yeah. Hi, Gary.

  • You see -- You want the ball? You want the ball?

  • Go! Go!

  • Hey, guys, we have a great show tonight.

  • A surprise from Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig

  • later in the show, but our guest is Taraji P. Henson.

  • Our first guest is Taraji P. Henson.

  • She -- You know her from "Empire" and her movies.

  • Her charity is the Boris L. Henson foundation.

  • Basically, it's based on her dad, who, um --

  • No. It's upside down.

  • -[ Laughs ] -It's funny.

  • You can just text --

  • text "NOSTIGMA" to 707070 for Taraji's charity.

  • It's a really cool charity.

  • Thank you, Winnie, for drawing these out.

  • Also we have Dua Lipa, whose album

  • "Future Nostalgia" is out right now.

  • And she's just crushing it.

  • And her charity is -- Can you help me?

  • Are you focused again? -Mm-hmm.

  • -UNICEF.org. We love Dua Lipa. And, um, what else do we have?

  • Maybe we'll check in -- That's right.

  • Franny, you did a great job drawing that.

  • Uh, let's go to some -- some monologue jokes right now.

  • Here we go.

  • ♪♪

  • -Welcome to "Tonight Show: Home Edition."

  • Well, guys, tonight marked the start of Passover.

  • It's a holiday that celebrates the miracles of Moses like

  • parting the Red Sea and finding toilet paper at Target.

  • Yeah, it's a big week, with Passover starting tonight

  • and Easter on Sunday.

  • If your family celebrates both,

  • be sure to pick up a pack of the all-new gefilte-fish Peeps.

  • This should be great -- opera singer Andrea Bocelli

  • is going to perform live on Easter

  • from an empty cathedral in Italy...

  • or his living room if he changes the background on his Zoom.

  • Some big 2020 news.

  • Earlier today, Bernie Sanders

  • dropped out of the presidential race.

  • I'm going to miss having Bernie in the race 'cause if there's

  • one person who's been my spirit animal during this pandemic,

  • it's Bernie Sanders.

  • The Pulitzer Prize board has delayed announcing

  • this year's winners by two weeks.

  • See? Don't feel bad.

  • The Pulitzer Prize people aren't getting any reading done

  • during quarantine, either.

  • Yesterday, a record-low number of people at airports

  • were checked by the TSA.

  • At some airports, the agents were so bored,

  • they started frisking themselves.

  • "Now you, Larry. You get me."

  • That's right. Airports are pretty much empty,

  • but when you walk into the bathroom

  • somehow every stall is already taken.

  • Well, Disney's floating the idea of checking people's

  • temperatures at the gates when the parks reopen.

  • Yeah. Disney said they take this pandemic extremely seriously

  • and then handed a thermometer to a six-foot mouse in a tuxedo.

  • -[ Chuckles ] -Some TV news.

  • We got a little giggle there from my wife.

  • Thanks, Nancy. Some TV news.

  • CBS is starting a weekly "Sunday Movie Night"

  • showing classic films like "Forrest Gump" and "Titanic."

  • It's perfect if you love those movies but always dreamed of

  • seeing them interrupted by six car commercials.

  • I heard you can now get takeout

  • from some of the nicest restaurants in the world.

  • So finally you can eat roasted quail

  • with a side of wild seaweed out of a bag

  • while you watch "Wheel of Fortune."

  • "Buy a vowel.

  • All right. Now your turn, Larry. You frisk me."

  • I saw that Panera is launching Panera Grocery

  • where they're now selling basic grocery-store items.

  • And this is cool.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • It's not even that funny. I don't know why I'm laughing.

  • Sometimes you just need a joke to make you laugh.

  • I saw that Panera is launching Panera Grocery

  • where they're now selling basic grocery-store items.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • And this is cool. At the checkout...

  • [ Laughs ]

  • I saw that Panera is launching Panera Grocery

  • where they're now selling basic grocery-store items.

  • And this is cool. At the checkout,

  • they put all your items in a bread bowl.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • Bread bowls. Oh, my gosh. That was -- That's hilarious.

  • Uh -- [ Laughs ] Remember we had chowder

  • in a bread bowl or something in Boston?

  • -Oh, yeah. At the airport. -At the airport.

  • It was a big deal, man.

  • It, like, reinvented... restaurants, bread bowls.

  • You can eat the bowl.

  • I hear a lot of families are having family dance parties

  • to relieve stress and anxiety.

  • It's fun until you're dancing with your sister

  • and then Boyz II Men comes on.

  • -♪ I'll make love to you ♪ -Alexa, next song!

  • -♪ Like you want me to ♪ -Alexa, next song!

  • And finally, a lot of people are trying to buy new furniture

  • for working from home, so if you and your spouse

  • weren't fighting enough, try assembling a new desk from IKEA.

  • That's our monologue, everybody!

  • ♪♪

  • -Oh, hey, Jimmy. -Hey, what's up, Jimmy?

  • How you doing? -Everything's good.

  • In quarantine, you know. How about you?

  • -I'm just doing whatever you're doing. You know?

  • -Well, I'm about to go get my 14th snack of the day.

  • -I know. You want to sing some harmony?

  • -Sure. One, two, three.

  • -♪ It's like you're my mirror, mirror staring back at me

  • -A little pitchy.

  • ♪♪

  • -Hey, guys, we're doing this thing every Wednesday

  • where I show my favorite videos

  • that people have been putting online.

  • It's called "What Are You Doing Wednesdays."

  • ♪♪

  • We all know everyone's at home,

  • so here's what you guys are doing.

  • This first guy is celebrating his birthday.

  • This is how you celebrate a birthday right now

  • in quarantine, 2020. Take a look.

  • -♪ Happy birthday to you

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Blow out the candles!

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Well done. And a good audience, by the way, too.

  • All those -- All those screens he has there.

  • These next two are grandparents.

  • I think -- We think they're grandparents.

  • Either way, they're super cool.

  • It's called the Garage Door Challenge.

  • They created a drinking game using their garage door

  • to raise money and awareness for directrelief.org.

  • But check out these two.

  • -Is it on? -It's on.

  • -All right! We're on!

  • -Garage-door assisted corona...

  • -Chugging Challenge!

  • [ Whirring ] -Get ready!

  • [Bleep]

  • -Oh, [bleep]. [ Laughs ]

  • -I don't think we missed a drop. -Jake and Barb...

  • -I'm pretty sure we got it all. -...you're up!

  • -Not my grandparents. -Yeah, I know.

  • I love -- I love how they're, like, shouting out,

  • "All right, you're next."

  • They're challenging other people. They want to do it.

  • If I had an automatic garage door, I would do it but I don't.

  • But anyways, you're very fun people.

  • This next video is -- Gosh. Do you love dogs?

  • Do you love "Harry Potter"? Well, here you go.

  • This is bulldog "Harry Potter."

  • ♪♪

  • ♪♪

  • -Wow. The CGI is so real.

  • The CGI was so real. That was a flying dog.

  • This last one is this couple --

  • I think they're a couple. Could be brother and sister.

  • And she's just saying hey --

  • He's trying to practice this golf trick indoors.

  • And it's a trick like Dude Perfect would do

  • or somebody, but he pulls it off.

  • Check it out.

  • -...swing and do it. -Okay. Come on.

  • -God's sake.

  • -Yeah! [ Laughs ]

  • -Ohh!

  • Extra points for bouncing it off of your girlfriend's head.

  • Oh, my God. Guys, that was "What Are You Doing Wednesday."

-Welcome to "The Tonight Show at Home Edition."

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ザ・トゥナイト・ショーアットホーム版(ジミーが鏡に語る、水曜日は何をしているのか (The Tonight Show: At Home Edition (Jimmy Talks to the Mirror, What Are You Doing Wednesdays))

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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