everyone has taken up video chatting

for business meetings, happy hour,

sometimes both at the same time.

But how do we navigate this brave new world?

Here are some dos and don'ts for all of those

about to video chat.

Don't begin a work call by asking "age, sex, location."

Do make sure the camera's pointed directly at your face.

No one wants to look up your disgusting nose.

Do remember to smile.

For business calls,

make sure that your name is accurate

and professional, like mine.

Do mute yourself if you're not talking, like so.

See, now you can't hear me.

Hey shut the f**k up, I'm trying to record

some computer shit.

Don't video chat with someone you actually

do not want to talk to.

What excuse are you gonna use to get off the phone?

You're busy?

No you're not.

None of us are, that's a lie.

Do check in with your friends,

like how I'm about to check in with Jaboukie.

Oh, he's busy again, that's weird.

Don't blink, don't ever blink.

Blinking is a weakness.

Don't use your adorable dog as a prop

to distract your coworkers from the fact

that you didn't prepare for the meeting, like at all.

Isn't that right, Fluffikins?

Who's the fluffiest?

Who's the fluffy guy?

Do your own makeup.

It's okay to look good.

Give 'em face, cheekbone.

Get into it.

These lips, girl.

Juicy.

If it's a work call, do make sure you're paying attention.

There's nothing more embarrassing

than repeating what a coworker just said.

That's right, Roy.

Do make sure you're paying attention,

'cause there's nothing more embarrassing

than repeating what the last person said.

If you absolutely have to use the bathroom,

take us in there.

We're bored.

Don't forget to leave your door unlocked

so your kid can wander in and do something viral.

Hey bud?

Smother yourself in tomato sauce and get over here.

Now.

Okie dokie, that about does it.

Ah, but don't forget to exit the call when you're done.

Thanks.

I'm glad that thing's over.