字幕表 動画を再生する 英語字幕をプリント my guest tonight is a comedian who was, of course, a cast member on Saturday Night Live and also started 30 Rock. Now you can see him in the last Ogi on TBS. I am thrilled. Tracy Morgan, E C bp, check it out. Okay. I don't know what you're talking about. Sin way. We gotta start, first of all. What? It that is your own fish tank behind you? Yeah, that is Is this right? The fourth largest private fish tank in the world is not a fish tank. Does this look like a fish? A fish is a fish bowl. That somebody fired Tony out. This is an aquarium. Okay? I'm sorry. You have your own private aquarium, Those? You can't keep a hammerhead in the booth. You have sharks in there. That's a shark. About 13. I know. With a seven foot long. Yeah, some big boys. You okay? Okay. I hope you don't lose an arm. But why would you suddenly talk like a pirate if you lost your arm? Probably longs and have wolves. I don't want to do stuff. I don't want the monitors of Father Tom. Oh, I know. What about a broken and bury some judge. Theo. Theo. History. Tracy, you're in quarantine. How are you passing the time? Highly amusing yourself. Get my wife pregnant. Quarantine. After two weeks, we got to brake is on the way. But you have to on the way. Doing away. She gets pregnant every week. It's okay. So it's not twins. You're saying and I will go. I'll get down like that. Okay. Okay. So you much are my babies. You're used to see George. The Kuroda guy was baby. Okay. It's simple. That's something they can know. Their whole life is nice to Notre Middle Age men is still bone it. Yeah, that's good to know that you're not born. It recorded. Well, How long? Crazy. How long have you been in quarantine? How long? 20 minutes, Theo mean streets. You've been in quarantine for two minutes. Listen, I gotta drive my cousin around. You don't have a car, He's a pimp. So if you want a match for me, he looks like you got my money. Corona virus ineffective. Good. The hood and ineffective ghetto more Are she only fair with 10 kids and she can't afford no man. So she used one of our broads with some rubber bands, she said. A 66 double deep family. My family shape, because she got been jobs open. He's got Tiko biddies. Says she's got a 66 double D bra and she cut and she won one top covered or 10 kids. One car went cup covered. 10 really look like a genetically with chocolate or Tracy. Are are you prepared for this virus? You have everything you need. Let's say have a Corona virus survival kit. No, I'm on the list. Is government key? Government teams go out? Last quarantine and everything in the kitchen. It's what my grandmother told me to put it gets, um, couple battle. Oh, shit. Do some peroxide gauze peroxide cure anything? A Wait a minute. What is cocoa butter lotion? Do what? Crime. I gotta cut. My grandma said some cocoa butter on it. So you think cocoa butter is going to be the cure for Corona virus? It is cocoa butter. That's what they're doing in the ghetto. Okay, You gotta get some newspaper. In case you run out of toilet paper, you get some newspaper and a brown paper bag, but you gotta rub that round thing back together so the edges don't cut you in your record. Okay, So you are gonna be on your show. Listen, stop yelling at me. You're very intimidating. Tell you out of survive, I got a border welfare, so I was raised Orwell Fitz, I'm not survive. Okay, so, well, you drink the rotors wandering Heinekens. I wait on a oh English virus to come, but that's going to go. Oh, England virus. Uh, peaceful party virus. Whenever you need your eyes Virus. You ain't never heard of that pink champagne virus? No, I have not. The fire is out there. I am in it, Tracy, there's a lot of misinformation out there, and I worry You're telling people to stock up on government cheese and that cocoa butter will cure the Corona virus. Ineffective ghetto. Let me tell you, you have a 5% is right, the proper seasoning. Then one guy that changed his name to a symptomatic, but he changed. His diplomatic got along. But he has a pre existing medical condition known Iwas. What was it? He's a stupid book. You know what? Your sharks have to listen to this bullshit all day long. Oh, they don't got a choice if you're like me. Oh, first of all, Okay. You mentioned toilet paper. Do you have enough toilet paper? Tracy? Money in my house is allowed to take one cup a day. Just conserve. So only people can. Only my son got a stomach that looked like the little rascals. Tape went roar. Remember my number? I just So wait a minute, buddy. I'm pooped. In three days, we're going to the bath so people can urinate, but they can't the other one. They can't do what? You gotta watch your dingle it. You gotta write your booty, though. I like how everyone I like how everyone else is talking to Dr Fauci. And I'm talking thio talking. You don't gotta write your Dingley, but you gotta work your butthole. You're killing me. I'm going on the road and doing this to me. Oh, yeah, I got the time. Pick all this craziness. All right, Get out. Tracy, Tracy, Uh, when you came into some money a while ago, you went out and you treated yourself and you bought a Bugatti. Are you still You have to book hotties. Do you still use the Bugattis during this crisis where we'll go, you never get in that. You know that I won't go. Okay. All right. Anyone chips on the street? I can't be our candy. I'll go sit in my garage and be eye candy and just imagine So you sit in your garage And my God, I did not see the little orphan Annie E Those song come to my row. So you gotta hang on to tomorrow, Cabbies. Just stinking up a tomorrow. Makes me wanna hang on to tomorrow. Look, you gotta hit that next up. I hate that because my biological father was David Ruffin from the Temptations. Let's go. You know what? You know when your your marriage in your relationship with your brothers over when you text I love you, baby. You're the love of my life. And she chucked you back this apology. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just yeah. Um Oh, geez, yeah. Those emojis can hurt your feelings, can't they? Young changes corona virus this distance. I can't take this social business. I want to help my mother yesterday and she kept me. How? Bo Really? Well, yeah, she's supposed to do that. You're not supposed to hug your mother. Right? I'm Joe section Mommy. Come on, Mommy. It's not what You didn't ask me for money, but she practiced to substances. So she said the Pima withdrew all, Huh? So your point is you think that it's your right to hug your mom? Okay. Okay. You got 16 stitches. Bar on me. Okay. What? Yes. Okay. Okay. Uh, I think we got off track here. I think we could have tracked here. Dude won't drink me. Let's just track and keep Rio. I said I'm not a Jack. Okay, listen to me. Listen to me. I have to know you've got an extended family. You're always talking about your aunts, your uncles. Are you keeping in touch with them? You have more on the rang. She had a nervous breakdown when she found that Elgin's elbow had it. I'm scared of no virus. This ain't my first. I still owed your elbow Corona virus having I stop it. Stop this. Just stop it. She said Oh, okay. Well, I'm sure this will be welcome news to Idris Elba that your aunt is willing. I love about you. She knew all of the 66 double D. Okay, Okay, So since you started looked like a tire track, things just This is just the This is the stupidest with you've spread so much misinformation here. Except you say they eat yourself. Nothing is true. I gotta go back and get that G d is not my fault. Okay, okay. Let me ask you this. Some celebrities are out there getting tested. Are you doing that? Have you gotten tested? Oh, I'm gonna really No, not gonorrhea people. My Where should be Still gotta really got them. Wait, You're more worried right now about gonorrhea than the cards are dumber? Glows. I got my mask. I'm not putting that garden more. Okay. Okay, kids, be safe. Did did you even ask your doctor if you needed to get tested? No, I contested because I have a kidney transplant. So I just gave blood two weeks ago, So I had it. They said you got it. Yeah. Okay, So you're in. Did you have gotten really got them? I think they told you you have gonorrhea. Yes, I need to know and then said you got three crabs too. Wait, You have three crabs and then they gave me the little gold with the little ornament. A little share pool. They don't tell you you've got three crabs. If you got crabs or you don't they don't count them thio with them, What with a mole? Aryan Curly. What will they named them? E. So I'm gonna try and sum up what we've learned here today. Tracy, you tell me if I'm right. Okay? You're advising everybody to stock up on government cheese and cocoa butter. Stay in there, Boo gatti and sing. The sun will come out tomorrow. Make sure you haven't least 15 sharks in your aquarium in your home. It's the fourth largest in the world. Is this about right? Absolutely. And if you've got an aunt with giant breasts, she should use one of her 66 double D cups and put it over 10 Children with some rubber bands.