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  • my guest tonight is a comedian who was, of course, a cast member on Saturday Night Live and also started 30 Rock.

  • Now you can see him in the last Ogi on TBS.

  • I am thrilled.

  • Tracy Morgan, E C bp, check it out.

  • Okay.

  • I don't know what you're talking about.

  • Sin way.

  • We gotta start, first of all.

  • What?

  • It that is your own fish tank behind you?

  • Yeah, that is Is this right?

  • The fourth largest private fish tank in the world is not a fish tank.

  • Does this look like a fish?

  • A fish is a fish bowl.

  • That somebody fired Tony out.

  • This is an aquarium.

  • Okay?

  • I'm sorry.

  • You have your own private aquarium, Those?

  • You can't keep a hammerhead in the booth.

  • You have sharks in there.

  • That's a shark.

  • About 13.

  • I know.

  • With a seven foot long.

  • Yeah, some big boys.

  • You okay?

  • Okay.

  • I hope you don't lose an arm.

  • But why would you suddenly talk like a pirate if you lost your arm?

  • Probably longs and have wolves.

  • I don't want to do stuff.

  • I don't want the monitors of Father Tom.

  • Oh, I know.

  • What about a broken and bury some judge.

  • Theo.

  • Theo.

  • History.

  • Tracy, you're in quarantine.

  • How are you passing the time?

  • Highly amusing yourself.

  • Get my wife pregnant.

  • Quarantine.

  • After two weeks, we got to brake is on the way.

  • But you have to on the way.

  • Doing away.

  • She gets pregnant every week.

  • It's okay.

  • So it's not twins.

  • You're saying and I will go.

  • I'll get down like that.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • So you much are my babies.

  • You're used to see George.

  • The Kuroda guy was baby.

  • Okay.

  • It's simple.

  • That's something they can know.

  • Their whole life is nice to Notre Middle Age men is still bone it.

  • Yeah, that's good to know that you're not born.

  • It recorded.

  • Well, How long?

  • Crazy.

  • How long have you been in quarantine?

  • How long?

  • 20 minutes, Theo mean streets.

  • You've been in quarantine for two minutes.

  • Listen, I gotta drive my cousin around.

  • You don't have a car, He's a pimp.

  • So if you want a match for me, he looks like you got my money.

  • Corona virus ineffective.

  • Good.

  • The hood and ineffective ghetto more Are she only fair with 10 kids and she can't afford no man.

  • So she used one of our broads with some rubber bands, she said.

  • A 66 double deep family.

  • My family shape, because she got been jobs open.

  • He's got Tiko biddies.

  • Says she's got a 66 double D bra and she cut and she won one top covered or 10 kids.

  • One car went cup covered.

  • 10 really look like a genetically with chocolate or Tracy.

  • Are are you prepared for this virus?

  • You have everything you need.

  • Let's say have a Corona virus survival kit.

  • No, I'm on the list.

  • Is government key?

  • Government teams go out?

  • Last quarantine and everything in the kitchen.

  • It's what my grandmother told me to put it gets, um, couple battle.

  • Oh, shit.

  • Do some peroxide gauze peroxide cure anything?

  • A Wait a minute.

  • What is cocoa butter lotion?

  • Do what?

  • Crime.

  • I gotta cut.

  • My grandma said some cocoa butter on it.

  • So you think cocoa butter is going to be the cure for Corona virus?

  • It is cocoa butter.

  • That's what they're doing in the ghetto.

  • Okay, You gotta get some newspaper.

  • In case you run out of toilet paper, you get some newspaper and a brown paper bag, but you gotta rub that round thing back together so the edges don't cut you in your record.

  • Okay, So you are gonna be on your show.

  • Listen, stop yelling at me.

  • You're very intimidating.

  • Tell you out of survive, I got a border welfare, so I was raised Orwell Fitz, I'm not survive.

  • Okay, so, well, you drink the rotors wandering Heinekens.

  • I wait on a oh English virus to come, but that's going to go.

  • Oh, England virus.

  • Uh, peaceful party virus.

  • Whenever you need your eyes Virus.

  • You ain't never heard of that pink champagne virus?

  • No, I have not.

  • The fire is out there.

  • I am in it, Tracy, there's a lot of misinformation out there, and I worry You're telling people to stock up on government cheese and that cocoa butter will cure the Corona virus.

  • Ineffective ghetto.

  • Let me tell you, you have a 5% is right, the proper seasoning.

  • Then one guy that changed his name to a symptomatic, but he changed.

  • His diplomatic got along.

  • But he has a pre existing medical condition known Iwas.

  • What was it?

  • He's a stupid book.

  • You know what?

  • Your sharks have to listen to this bullshit all day long.

  • Oh, they don't got a choice if you're like me.

  • Oh, first of all, Okay.

  • You mentioned toilet paper.

  • Do you have enough toilet paper?

  • Tracy?

  • Money in my house is allowed to take one cup a day.

  • Just conserve.

  • So only people can.

  • Only my son got a stomach that looked like the little rascals.

  • Tape went roar.

  • Remember my number?

  • I just So wait a minute, buddy.

  • I'm pooped.

  • In three days, we're going to the bath so people can urinate, but they can't the other one.

  • They can't do what?

  • You gotta watch your dingle it.

  • You gotta write your booty, though.

  • I like how everyone I like how everyone else is talking to Dr Fauci.

  • And I'm talking thio talking.

  • You don't gotta write your Dingley, but you gotta work your butthole.

  • You're killing me.

  • I'm going on the road and doing this to me.

  • Oh, yeah, I got the time.

  • Pick all this craziness.

  • All right, Get out.

  • Tracy, Tracy, Uh, when you came into some money a while ago, you went out and you treated yourself and you bought a Bugatti.

  • Are you still You have to book hotties.

  • Do you still use the Bugattis during this crisis where we'll go, you never get in that.

  • You know that I won't go.

  • Okay.

  • All right.

  • Anyone chips on the street?

  • I can't be our candy.

  • I'll go sit in my garage and be eye candy and just imagine So you sit in your garage And my God, I did not see the little orphan Annie E Those song come to my row.

  • So you gotta hang on to tomorrow, Cabbies.

  • Just stinking up a tomorrow.

  • Makes me wanna hang on to tomorrow.

  • Look, you gotta hit that next up.

  • I hate that because my biological father was David Ruffin from the Temptations.

  • Let's go.

  • You know what?

  • You know when your your marriage in your relationship with your brothers over when you text I love you, baby.

  • You're the love of my life.

  • And she chucked you back this apology.

  • Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • Just yeah.

  • Um Oh, geez, yeah.

  • Those emojis can hurt your feelings, can't they?

  • Young changes corona virus this distance.

  • I can't take this social business.

  • I want to help my mother yesterday and she kept me.

  • How?

  • Bo Really?

  • Well, yeah, she's supposed to do that.

  • You're not supposed to hug your mother.

  • Right?

  • I'm Joe section Mommy.

  • Come on, Mommy.

  • It's not what You didn't ask me for money, but she practiced to substances.

  • So she said the Pima withdrew all, Huh?

  • So your point is you think that it's your right to hug your mom?

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • You got 16 stitches.

  • Bar on me.

  • Okay.

  • What?

  • Yes.

  • Okay.

  • Okay.

  • Uh, I think we got off track here.

  • I think we could have tracked here.

  • Dude won't drink me.

  • Let's just track and keep Rio.

  • I said I'm not a Jack.

  • Okay, listen to me.

  • Listen to me.

  • I have to know you've got an extended family.

  • You're always talking about your aunts, your uncles.

  • Are you keeping in touch with them?

  • You have more on the rang.

  • She had a nervous breakdown when she found that Elgin's elbow had it.

  • I'm scared of no virus.

  • This ain't my first.

  • I still owed your elbow Corona virus having I stop it.

  • Stop this.

  • Just stop it.

  • She said Oh, okay.

  • Well, I'm sure this will be welcome news to Idris Elba that your aunt is willing.

  • I love about you.

  • She knew all of the 66 double D.

  • Okay, Okay, So since you started looked like a tire track, things just This is just the This is the stupidest with you've spread so much misinformation here.

  • Except you say they eat yourself.

  • Nothing is true.

  • I gotta go back and get that G d is not my fault.

  • Okay, okay.

  • Let me ask you this.

  • Some celebrities are out there getting tested.

  • Are you doing that?

  • Have you gotten tested?

  • Oh, I'm gonna really No, not gonorrhea people.

  • My Where should be Still gotta really got them.

  • Wait, You're more worried right now about gonorrhea than the cards are dumber?

  • Glows.

  • I got my mask.

  • I'm not putting that garden more.

  • Okay.

  • Okay, kids, be safe.

  • Did did you even ask your doctor if you needed to get tested?

  • No, I contested because I have a kidney transplant.

  • So I just gave blood two weeks ago, So I had it.

  • They said you got it.

  • Yeah.

  • Okay, So you're in.

  • Did you have gotten really got them?

  • I think they told you you have gonorrhea.

  • Yes, I need to know and then said you got three crabs too.

  • Wait, You have three crabs and then they gave me the little gold with the little ornament.

  • A little share pool.

  • They don't tell you you've got three crabs.

  • If you got crabs or you don't they don't count them thio with them, What with a mole?

  • Aryan Curly.

  • What will they named them?

  • E.

  • So I'm gonna try and sum up what we've learned here today.

  • Tracy, you tell me if I'm right.

  • Okay?

  • You're advising everybody to stock up on government cheese and cocoa butter.

  • Stay in there, Boo gatti and sing.

  • The sun will come out tomorrow.

  • Make sure you haven't least 15 sharks in your aquarium in your home.

  • It's the fourth largest in the world.

  • Is this about right?

  • Absolutely.

  • And if you've got an aunt with giant breasts, she should use one of her 66 double D cups and put it over 10 Children with some rubber bands.