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Welcome to our second Marie Kondo video: the part where we go through books...

Or not - mainly not.

We're moving house and it is getting out of control.

You don't need to have seen the first video to enjoy this one, but I'll leave a link in the description.

If you don't know already- because you don't watch Netflix, read newspapers, magazines,

use Twitter, Instagram, or have access to the internet...

Hello! I'm honoured you've chosen this video as your first foray into the online space.

It's variable. Pick wisely; don't send your bank details to anyone.

Marie Kondo and her method of tidying up, known as KonMari,

is the latest craze to sweep the interwebs and bleed into our real lives.

I explained more about Marie's methods in video one, but to break it down:

throw lots of stuff away, keep stuff that makes you happy, neatly arrange it.

Rather than go room by room, she encourages that you take all of one type of item

and put it in one place,

and then go through it.

Again, throwing a lot of stuff out.

In video one, we did clothes and gave away ten bags of things.

Category 2 is meant to be books, but...

J: But we did our books.

Huh...

C: Yeah... Well, I mean we did them in the sense that we got--

C: To be fair, we could probably go through them again.

J: I mean, we've not got down to the Marie Kondo 30.

C: What's that?

J: She only likes to have 30 books--

C: Ooooh... J: In her house.

C: No, yeah. J: It was the whole like internet drama because people were like:

J: [angrily] 'How dare you tell me to give up my books?! Arghh!'

J: But she didn't say that. She just said she likes to have thirty.

C: OK. It takes me a long time to just read one book, so... I've kept all the books that I like.

C: It's like am I actually gonna read them again? Like why do we keep them?

J: So, instead...we could look at other areas, like...

[Bells jingling] J: I could do the Christmas decorations!

[Bells jingling] J: In the special boxes that I bought for them, because I really, really want to put them in there! [Bells jingling]

C: Yeah, we could do, like, that. They're in the loft, so we could just start sorting out the loft.

J: Indeed.

C: I'm a little bit scared about that. J: The loft is a place of terror, let's be honest.

Ooooh, that's not sarcasm.

It's genuinely terrifying up there.

[Intense music]

[Intense music intensifies]

[Record scratch]

J: We've put a lot of things up there. C: Yeah.

C: I mean, to the point that our ceiling feels like it might, at any point, fall in on our head.

C: The whole point is that we need to clear it, and organise it, and then it'll be...safe and tidy!

J: I, uh...yes.

Told you so. Since there isn't exactly a lot of space, we were left with the question of...how to sort things.

J: So, there are two modes of thinking. We don't have a lot of floor space up here.

J: So, either, we gather items of every category - which is the Marie Kondo way, I know

- and we take them downstairs and look at them there.

J: Ooor, we just go with everything we can reach

[Claudia laughs]

J: In this bit of floor space.

J: But! That's not really the Marie Kondo way and I don't know that we'll actually...

J: sort things if we did that.

C: I feel like we just need, like, a box to put things in.

C: At the moment, we haven't even got anywhere to put stuff.

J: Well, no, yeah, OK, so...

C: Also, the whole issue is that we're stuck in a loft, so I can't, like, pass things down.

C: I need to at least put it into a box, and then be able to then pass the boxes down.

[Bells jingling] J: If we collect all the Christmas things...

J: and take them down, and then we can sort them.

C: And then maybe I just put things into a bin bag that, like, we don't want.

C: And then we can sort them out downstairs. J: Yeah!

J: We can do this. We can do this. It's going to be OK.

J: I promise you, it's going to be OK; we're gonna make it out!

J: Or we'll just live in the loft from now on. Hi.

J: We'll just live here, aaand we will work purely by live streaming from here. Please bring food.

[Claudia laughs]

[Kissing noises]

Honestly, I just really, really wanted to sort the Christmas decorations into the cool storage boxes that I bought specifically for the purpose!

J: Less dangerous slash terrifying, that's what we're going for... in terms of cleaning our loft.

(Spooky, old-style music)

Why did we think this was achievable in one day? Why did we stray from Marie's path?

By the way, we're thinking of doing a house tour before we go.

Once we've...sorted that out, so...

I'm going to include a question card! *Snaps fingers*

So you can tell me if you fancy watching that.

C: Yeah, loft conversions are really popular these days.

C: But y'know, you gotta think, where are you gonna put all your stuff?

J: Yes, that's the main issue(!)

C: I think actually the main issue, and the whole point of Marie Kondo, is you shouldn't have that much stuff.

J: No, indeed!

C: To shove into our attic. J: We shouldn't have so much stuff!

J: Why do we have so much stuff? It's very distressing.

C: If it's in your attic, you're not using it daily.

C: The only things you should keep in the attic are...

C: Rotation of clothes. J: Yeah.

C: But, to be honest, we shouldn't have that many clothes that we have to put a rotational amount.

C: Yeah, winter coats. J: I put them up there in winter--summer.

C: Yeah, yeah. OK. And like hats and gloves and things could just be up there,

C: 'cause they don't need to be in your closet through summer.

C: And the other thing is, like, suitcases.

J: Well currently there's an extra bed up there.

[Dismissively] C: Yeeeeah.

J: Because we own three beds and have two bedrooms. C: But that's 'cause we know we're gonna, like, move to a bigger house.

C: So we needed--we need the extra beds.

J: Yeah, yeah. Er, Christmas decorations.

C: Yeah. J: Christmas-related things.

C: Well, to be honest, I think the only things really, though, that should be up there are:

C: Christmas decoration--like, things that are seasonal. So clothes, and Christmas decorations.

J: Yeah. C: Aaaand...suitcases.

J: That's all you want in our loft?

C: That's what should be up there, really. J: Oh, yeah, that's totally gonna happen(!)

J: Let's see.

(Japanese music)

We may have overreached ourselves,

[bells jingling] but at least I got to do the Christmas boxes!

[Instrumental 'Deck the Halls']

C: How you getting on, Tills?

J: [Laughing] Yeah! C: She's a little bit--she's like, 'where's the space?!'

C: [Silly voice] But no, there's no space any moreeee!

J: I think they may have started panicking that we're moving.

(Continuation of 'Deck the Halls']

You should know: that box is my dream come true. I wish every box looked like that box!

If you're a company that makes boxes with tiny organised compartments and you're looking for someone to really appreciate them,

send some my way!

My mother's probably laughing watching this, because that box is my childhood dreams come true.

Also, yes, I have five boxes of Christmas things.

I really like Christmas. I'm already planning this year's vlogmas, and it's only March. Send help.

No, actual help.

My back hurts so much. I'm so tireeeed.

I'm surrounded by boxeees.

Ugh!

C: It's OK. We'll just, uh...just call it a day, won't we?

J: I think so.

J: I just wanted to get it all done.

C: I know.

J: [Unintelligible] C: Come on.

Soooooo...

[Slurping sounds]

We may have taken on a bit too much.

Good morning.

We may have rather...run before we can walk

deciding that instead of the second Marie Kondo-approved thing of just doing books,

we were gonna do the entire loft!

I--

We are not reasonable people, clearly! Moving, carrying stuff...

It's not what this body is made for.

Then I just continued to do boxes of stuff.

Good plan. Good plan.

But: quite good, managed to get the Christmas box...es and bags of Christmas stuff down

to, I think, four boxes now.

Which are packed quite neatly, and quite nicely.

We started a craft box.

We've gone through all of the art stuff that was in the loft, and then the art draw that was here.

But we've not yet done the art stuff that's in the studio downstairs, or...

the craft stuff in the second bedroom upstairs.

We have a lot of art-related things.

And now, today, Claudia is about to go off to badminton.

And I'm gonna keep on keeping on.

I'm taking some painkillers.

So...we'll get there.

[Japanese music resumes]

So on the plus side, we did follow Marie's advice:

put all of one type of thing in one place, like the Christmas boxes and the craft box.

On the negative side:

Why didn't we listen to you, Marie?!

Why did we think it was a good idea to go through the whole attic? Aah!

Fortunately, with Claudia gone, I could then calm myself by making sticky labels,

and doing my favourite part of tidying: caring way too much about sorting every little scrap of paper,

whilst ignoring the bigger items.

[Japanese music resumes]

If you're wondering why I own fifty different notebooks at a time,

it's because I've spent my entire life writing stories and carrying around ideas with me, that I will one day publish,

and it will all have been worth it!

This should probably have gone into part three: Paper.

But... Marie, why did we stray from your path?

The evening then consisted of bringing down yet more things we had left in the loft and attempting to go through them all.

Claudia found her Glastonbury light

[Dance music]

Why? ...Apparently, this is for sitting in your tent and raving.

[Dance music continues]

I would know that if I'd ever been a raver, but...

And we were like, "Oh, we could keep it!. You just don't know, we could use it for filming or something?"

I mean, we have like special filming lights that are LEDs,

but who knows when you need a rave light?

And then we remembered: no, Marie Kondo. We need to Marie Kondo this.

Does it bring me joy? No.

It may bring me an epileptic fit, but it does not bring me joy.

[Japanese music resumes]

And how did the tale end?

Well, can't quite give you the very satisfying 'before and after'

of the clothes video, because my house currently looks like this:

But I can give you this!

Before: [Intense music]

Recycling pile

Donation pile

Aaand loft.

[Japanese music resumes]

It's a work in progress.

[Philosophically] Like...we are all works in progress.

Let me know in the comments what you think of the job we've done so far.

And make sure you subscribe to see the next video in the series where we... [doorbell rings]

sort out the mess.

Oh, dear Lord.

Also, we then realised there are actually seven boxes of books in the loft.

And yet more scattered around the house.

So... [Despairingly] Why didn't we listen to you, Marie?!

[Japanese music resumes]