I gottotellyou, it's anhonortobepartontheinauguralkickoffthisthisaspectofmasterclass?
Yeah.
It's soit's a newforthoseofyouwhoaren't aware.
Masterclassliveas a newassetthatwearegoingtobecreating.
Thatprovides a wayforouruserstointeractwithourinstructorsinalivesetting, Um, andalsogivethemnewwaystoengagewithourcontentbeyondourlivestreamingvideosordownloadableworkbooks.
Youknow, let's usenegotiationreallyis a meansfordrawingclosertogetherforestablishingbetterrelationship.
So, youknow, I thinkthisthisshiftthatwe'reinthemiddleofaspainfulasitisandthecostisgoingtobehighintheinterim, wecomeoutontheotherside, We'regonnabein a betterplace.
So, youknow, I'm tellingpeoplewouldchunkitout a littlebit, youknow, Firstofall, articulatetheotherside's fears, youknow, and I youknow, I'm gonnawilluseadultlanguagehere, youknow?
Notbad, but a littlebit.
Youknow, I got a clientcalledusupandsaid, Youknow, thisis a shitshowand I said, Allright, sothat's thewaytodescribebecauseitcutstotheheartofthematter.
It's whateverybody's feeling.
Sowhenyoutalktothepeople, they'rescaredtodeathandfeellikethey'reinthemiddleofAh, youknow, manureshow t comeandkind a littlebitmore.
Saythatexactly.
Say, youknow, thisisThisis a shitshow.
Youscaredthedeath.
Youdon't knowwhenthisisgonnabeover.
There's nothingthatworksfasterandmoreeffectivelytodriving a stakethroughtheheartofsomebody's fearotherthanjustrecognizingit.
And I was, as I waspreparingmyselfforthis, I waskindofalwaystryingtothinkaboutwhatyou'reyou'reanswersmightbe, And I waslike, I actuallydon't knowwhatpeoplewillbecomingtohimwith, butthatmakes a tonofsensethattheaccusationsaudit, whichisoneofthetacticsthatyouyoutalkabout a reallyimportantonerightnow.
I appreciate I wasn't sure I wasgonnabeabletogetyoutotalkabouttheBlackSwanconsultingthatyou'redoingcause I knowit's tendstobewithpeoplethatareveryhighprofile.
Sothankyouverymuchforthat.
Youknow, everybodycoulduseit.
I mean, wewetry.
It's oneofthebrainthingsaboutmasterclass.
I mean, whatwe'veblownbeenblownawaywithbybeing, youknow, meandmyteam, it's alwaysyouknow, youwannagofast, golong.
Um, So I haveanotherquestionthathastodowiththecurrentstateofaffairs, andwearen't gonnaspendthisentireconversationtalkingaboutitjustcause, youknow, itwillpass, asyou'vesaid, butitistopofmindfor a lotofpeople.
Youknow, if I couldinterruptyourealquickbecauseyoutouchedon, um, intheinadvertentmistakethatpeoplemake a lotwhenyouuseinyourexampleaskingsomeone, Whyareyoudoingthat?
Youknow, asanexample, I talkallthetimeaboutyougotmirrorneuronsandinyourinyourhead, And, youknow, if I smileit, ifyoucanseeme, ifyoucanhearme, I canhityourmirrorneurons.
I cantriggerreaction.
Sobye.
Smileatyou.
Youknow, you'regonnayou'regonnahit.
I'llhityourmirrorneuronsandyou'llstarttosmile.
Andsooneofmyfavoriteneuroscienceexperiments, youknow, I'llbesittingon a planeandbeladynexttomewith a baby, Youknow, I like.
Justtake a littlebitslowerapproachwithyourkidsandactuallygetfartherfasterbytakingtheseeminglyindirectapproach.
Yeah, andthepreservationoftheautonomyisanotherthingthat I thoughtwaswasreallyfascinating.
Somethingthatresonatedformeaswell.
Thinkingaboutitwhen I waslike, Oh, yeah, when I wonmyautonomyWhen I feelit's indanger, myguardgoesupor, youknow, and I'm Yeah, that s soit's ahbeingableThio, formulateyourcommunicationin a waythatpreservesthatissopowerful.
Andthat's a humannatureresponsetoit.
I mean, you'renotdoingthatbecauseyourage, yourgender, yourethnicity, youhumanwiring, we'rewiredforourautonomy.
Youcan't.
Youcan't pointto a civilizationinthehistoryofmankind.
Itwascontentbeingslaves, youknow, Andwe'rebroadcastingfrom a countrythat's foundedonautonomy.
I gotyouknow, oneofmyfavoriteexamplesof a hardquestion, youknow, becauseatthestartofthebook, I thoughtwetalkedabout, youknow, youlearningtousethequestion, howmuchsupposedtodothatusedandkidnappingnegotiations.
Andand I usedit.
Theexampleofthestartofthebookismenegotiating, youknow, sortof a mocknegotiationwithRobertManoukian, who's theheadoftheprogram A negotiationandHarvardandbringitthrough.
I mean, RobertMickensMarchsmartguy, justlikeeverybodyelsethatHarvardclearly, that's whetherthereyouknowaboutthat.
And I learned a lotfromGary, and I'm appreciativeofeverythingthat I learnedfromhim.
Gottathankyouverymuch.
I appreciatethat.
I'vegot, um I'm gonnahave a noteforWikipediaonthetitle.
Uh, yeah, Well, Wikipedia, right.
Youknowthat.
Yeah, it's true.
Theydotheirbestthere, butyeah, well, I knowinmyresearch, I knowthat I haveyourfullbio, but I was, like, writing, youknow, as I waswritingup.
Althoughmymytalkingpoints I was, uh, did a quickcheckin.
I willbesending, youknow, toWikipedia, buttheywouldappreciateit.
Thankyou.
Um, So, um, I wouldlovetojustquicklytalkmefor, like, thenextfiveor 10 minutesaboutyourexperiencesensemasterclassonDDEWhatthat's beenlike, umand I kindofthinkLike, what?
Um, andhaveyouhaveyoulearnedanythingaboutyourselfornegotiationas a resultofthisprocess?
Well, yeah.
Youknow, I liketothinkoflearningallthetime.
So I got I gottahandittoyouguys, though, youknow, youteasethestoryoutofme, um, intheendofthemasterclass, aboutwhen I getpickedonas a kidthatthat I hadn't discussedwithanybodyelsebefore, Andthefactthatthat, youknow, thatwasburiedintheresodeepintheeffectthatithadonmebecause I knew I hatedbullies.
I justkindofforgottenwhy, whichisalsogivemeanopportunitytothink a lotaboutthatandthinkabouthowthatsuggestedmeandhowyouknow, what's mybestreactiontosomeonethat I feelisharmtomeinthepast.
And, youknow, thissortof I thinkit's reallyhelpedmeinprocessingthingslikethatgetbetteras a humanbeing.
Andit's funnythatyousaythataboutscarsbeing a partofwhoweare, because I have, ah, tattooonmyarmthatessentiallyit's Latin, butittranslatestoscarswereokaybecausetheyshowthatyou'vedonestuff.
Um, sowe'retalking, we'redoing a trainingsession, and I askedhimifhe's gotthenotebooksreadyandyouknowhispictureinhisheadofthenotebook, hesensesthathe's seeingsomethinghashaddifferentthan I am.
Andsohesaystome, Wouldyoumeanbynotebooks, Youknow, And I justreactwith, youknow, likeanAmericanoverseas, I'm gonnasaythesamethingagainonLee.
Soundslikeyouthinkthisissoobviousthat I'm justkindofthickfromthatcatchingon, I mightshifttotheothercompanionskilltodrawitout, becauseifsomebodygivesme a onewordanswer, they'recommunicatingeitheroneoftwothings.
I likeitpasttheirguard, and I rewardthemfordroppingtheirguardbycontinuingtobeveryrespectfulanddeferentialsothattheydon't regretdroppingtheirguy.
That's reallythat's reallyinteresting.
Anditwas, I think, youknow, whenwewerefilmingyourclass, therewasweweretalkingabouttheimportanceofflexingthesemusclesofusingthesetacticslottogetmorecomfortablewiththem.
And I thinkitissometimeseasyforevenformetolikelosesightofthefactthat a lotofthetacticsthatyoutalkaboutaremeanttobeusedintandem.
Um, rightAndsoandnotnecessarilyinisolationwhereyou'relike, inthisconversation, I'm in a mirror, thisperson, andjustrepeat, youknow, lookforprobeformoreinformationbyrepeatingwhethersaying, youknowthatifyoudomeet a roadblockwithone, youcanoftenpivottoanother, whichis I justthinkitreallymakeshimevenmoreversatile.
Sothat's great.
Yeah, themirrorsinthelateritwas a greatcomplimentary.
Sowhileitwas a defaultvoiceforthehostagenegotiatorinbusinessnegotiationsoverall, itshouldbeusedabout 15 to 20% ofthetime.
Max, interestinglyenough, dependuponthecircumstancesforexample, realestatenegotiations, everyconversationinthebuyingandsellingof a homeWhenhopesanddreamsforthefutureonthelineeveryconversationis a difficultconversation.
And I thinkthisisIt's a certainlyapplicablenow, butit's it's broadlyapplicable, evenintimeswherewe'renotdealingwithoverdealingwithwherepeopleneedtotryanddeveloptheserelationshipsbutnotmightnothavetheavenuesthatthey'relookingfor.
Yeah, well, andhere's youropportunitytogetgetbettertelephonecallsand e mails.
Thelastimpressionis a lastingimpressioninyourphonecallsandyour e mails.
Makethathot.
Thosepositivegreetingsat a bareminimum, repeatedattheendoftheyear.
Thing I doonthosephonecallsand e mailsandyourcoldcallingpeopleinsteadofstartingoutbysayinglikeHey, I loveyou, youwonderfulstarted a littlebitofanaccusationsauto.