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  • Hi guys.

  • Welcome back to my channel today.

  • We are back with another self love and self care video.

  • But I want to talk about confidence and I want to start by saying that confidence is a myth.

  • It's not acquired by reading motivational quotes from Pinterest or listening to Beyonce's, although the woman can get things out of me.

  • No one can.

  • But my point is that message is like love yourself, be fearless, are everywhere.

  • And yet no one really talks about the hard work that goes into building the confidence and how it can be achieved.

  • Confidence is more about the journey, the self discovery, the finding who you are and what you are.

  • It's not something you can turn on and hold on to forever.

  • I feel like there's so many little mitts that we have in the back of our minds.

  • When we see those confident people that we believe in that we're not giving ourselves the room too grow and to go after the confidence, I'm sure that so many of us have met people in our lives that we like.

  • That person was just born confident and that is not true.

  • People are not bored, confident.

  • Confidence is something you develop when you put yourself in new situations and a new environment that challenge you and make you face things that show you who you are.

  • People that lose confidence are not people that just had it from the get go.

  • It's people that really got out of their comfort zone to challenge themselves.

  • That put themselves in a situation that made them very fearful and not secure about what they're doing and then made them confront their challenging, believes and push their boundaries even further.

  • And that really resulted in seeing how much more you can do and how much more you have inside of you and that gave birth to a whole new understanding of who you are.

  • My favorite quote is true.

  • Confidence isn't fearlessness.

  • It's having the courage to jump in, even if you knees are shaking.

  • So acting in spite of fear is what giving us the opportunity to build that confidence, and I find that women, sometimes we are waiting to be completely ready to jump on certain opportunities.

  • If it's with work over school with relationships and we're missing out on big opportunities, so you are not confident known is born confidence start working.

  • The next thing that I feel like we all have in our minds when we're thinking about confidence, is the fact that you can't fake it, and I think that is the wrong perception, and I'm not telling you to fake it till you make it, which obviously we've all heard of.

  • But I advise you to fake it till you become it.

  • And that's something that I heard from a catalog by Amy Cuddy.

  • So little tricks and little things that you can do to take that confidence inside of you are available at all times.

  • One of those is power posing.

  • Putting yourself in power poses before meeting before you go somewhere where you not feeling as confident as you should well, really.

  • Raise those testosterone levels and make you feel more in charge and more powerful.

  • Putting yourself in that power position will trick your mind into feeling more confident and more ease, and I stressed and will make you ready to go and face that challenge that you have in front of you.

  • We all know that our minds change our bodies, but this is a study that showed that our bodies change your minds as well.

  • A few other tricks that I like to kind of adapt at times where I need that little confidence boost is the douchebag jar, but it's not what it is.

  • So if you guys ever watch new girl, you know that Schmidt have this douchebag jar where every time he says something, do she he puts money in it, so we're kind of spinning it into something more empowering.

  • This is ajar where you can write little notes of small things that you're proud of yourself for doing small things that you've accomplished small, big.

  • Doesn't matter that just make you feel good about yourself.

  • And that reminds you.

  • You know, all these wonderful things that you can offer and you've done before.

  • It can be your boss complimenting you on a presentation or a friend giving you a compliment about something instead of forgetting those small little moments, right, him on a piece of paper, put them in the jar, and whenever you need a little reminder of how amazing you are, you go into the jar, pull out a slip, and here you go, another trick that you can do is positive affirmations, and that's something that can come in so many different shapes and forms.

  • I like to talk to myself sometimes in the mirror that happened.

  • I'm proud of it.

  • Who looks tired.

  • You look tired.

  • Whose amazing you're amazing.

  • You're gonna have the best day ever.

  • We all need a little pep talk sometimes.

  • So you conduct yourself in a mirror.

  • You can talk to yourself just with yourself.

  • You can write things in a journal, just positive thinking that, you know, you kind of manifested put on paper or vocalize would really help in pushing that confidence on yourself.

  • Also, things that we have to start making ourselves do is accept compliments instead of deflecting them.

  • That's something that I find so many people.

  • D'oh!

  • And there's literally nothing more disappointing that seeing someone that just can't accept a compliment.

  • It doesn't matter how you feel about yourself.

  • But if someone tells you something, nice, Accepted said thank you and move on with your day.

  • Push yourself to accept a compliment instead of vocalizing how you are not worthy of that compliment.

  • There's nothing that shows insecurities more than that.

  • The next trick that I like to do is to head over to YouTube.

  • It found feeling uninspired.

  • If I'm feeling insecure, I'll put my favorite song.

  • I have this, like motivational songs that I hear super random.

  • They just make me feel good about myself.

  • Motivational pox on YouTube.

  • Wink, wink.

  • You know what?

  • If I mean, go watch some Ted talks something.

  • They were really kind of a waking that spirit of confidence and reassurance of who you are and what you're doing.

  • The last important shrink that I have is to really change the way you view an opportunity So many of us have.

  • All these opportunities come our way all the time and a lot of us because of our lack of confidence.

  • The first thing was, say is Oh, I'm not ready for this.

  • I can't do this.

  • It's I'm not there yet.

  • This way of thinking just keeps you further away from reaching your goals.

  • Instead of looking at opportunities that way, start looking at opportunities and be the yes man and be the yes woman and say yes to things because you accepted and you learn as you go along.

  • You can ask for help if you need to.

  • You can delegate if you need to.

  • The most important thing in the most important step, it's putting yourself in those situations where even when you don't feel ready, you go in there.

  • I can do it.

  • I'll figure it out.

  • I learned how to do it.

  • I'll ask for help.

  • I'll delegate into someone.

  • I can do it That will bring you much closer to your goals and to building that confidence that will show you that you can actually do it.

  • If you never put yourself into these situations, you'll never be able to go through that journey off building the confidence.

  • Another false believe that we all have in her mind is in order for us to feel confident would have to be successful.

  • And that actually works completely the opposite way.

  • You can't achieve success without starting your journey to confidence.

  • Everything has to build from the ground up.

  • So even if you can tap into a little bit of confidence throughout your journey in the beginning, that's really what's gonna keep building that building off success that building off confidence every time you show yourself that you can do more achieve more, you don't need a lot of it to start your journey.

  • You need just a little bit just that small little belief in yourself to move closer to your goals and to build that confidence.

  • And it doesn't have to be perfect.

  • This journey will never be perfect.

  • Perfectionism is not a human quality.

  • This idea of being perfect is so debilitating that it doesn't give us the room and the space to make mistakes and to go after what we want and achieve it, and especially for women if you notice.

  • And I'm not sure what it is exactly.

  • But men don't have those beliefs.

  • Men don't feel like they need to be perfect to go for something.

  • For us women, it's like we have such high standards and idea of what we need to be.

  • To get somewhere is ridiculous.

  • So I'm saying throw this out the window.

  • Perfect does not exist.

  • It's a trap.

  • And if you believe in it, you're not gonna get anywhere because you will never be the perfect time.

  • You will never be perfectly ready.

  • This will never happen for you.

  • So by lying yourself to make the mistakes to learn from them, that's what's going to give you the opportunity to grow, to face your fears and do things that you never thought you can do as a personal example.

  • It literally happened throughout my life and everything that I tapped into as a teenager.

  • Like most girls out there, I was having such limiting beliefs about confidence and about what I can do and what I can be that I never actually went for things because I felt like it was never the perfect time.

  • And I was lucky enough that I had people that push me and put me in very uncomfortable and very scary situations that I couldn't handle like modeling.

  • And it made me face everything that I was scared up and I had no other choice.

  • So those kind of situation that I was put into made me understand how all of these little things are just steps that I needed to make to start becoming the person that deep down inside I knew exist.

  • But I just felt so disconnected and far away from her, and once I just became a little more confident and a little more confident.

  • I just showed myself how far I can get in everything that I wanted and you two was the same thing already reached a certain level off confidence in my life from my modeling career and at that point there was no one else that put me in that scary, uncomfortable situation.

  • And I knew that that's what I needed to push myself and to grow even more.

  • So.

  • I decided to be that person that inserted myself into a very scary area that I knew nothing about and that was YouTube.

  • It was very uncomfortable.

  • It was very awkward.

  • It's so very wrong and there were so many things that was there were that I was so insecure about.

  • If it's my thoughts and my ideas and the way they speak and my accent and my grammar and I just kept going and it got a little bit bait better and a little bit better and a little bit better.

  • And then there was criticism and it was just I kept dealing with all these inconvenient, uncomfortable things and it gave me this freedom that I just hope all of you can reach because that freedom of knowing exactly who you are and how strong you are kind of puts you in this limitless state of mind about all the things that you want to reach in your life.

  • That's my goal for myself and for you guys to always be that person to yourself that pushes yourself and put yourself and really uncomfortable and weird and foreign situation.

  • A lot of people have fine believed that in order to be confident, you have to be an extra Burt.

  • This is something that I actually think is a really big myth, because I actually find that being the loudest person in the room and being the center of attention is actually what shows me that the person is not so confident.

  • So if you feel like you know, you're not always the center of attention and that you don't have that extra vert attitude to kind of take over a room, you don't need to be a confident introvert exist, and they're out there and they're the most confident people I've ever met.

  • So when you are in a surrounding when you're around people, when you're part of a conversation and you actually focus on other people and not necessarily you're the only person that speaks in the room.

  • It actually shows you as a much more confident person than the other guy out there that screams and yells and has to be heard at all times.

  • And this was one of the tips that I gave you guys from eight ways to look more attractive instantly.

  • And that's something that I truly believe.

  • If you have that belief in your head, you have to throw it right out.

  • Confident people don't have to be the center of attention when you are happy with your achievements and you happy with yourself and you contend you don't need reassurance from anyone else.

  • So always keep that in mind something that I've learned throughout my journey of self discovery and building my confidence in building myself and becoming the person.

  • The woman that I want to be is that confidence never sticks.

  • Even if you're confident person and I consider myself confident.

  • I'm not confident all the time in all areas of life.

  • There are so many times in my life where I feel like inadequate, but I feel like I'm not good enough and that's totally okay.

  • You're gonna go through periods in your life when you feel a little more insecure, little less insecure.

  • You're gonna find yourself in situations where you just kind of lose that confidence that you feel like you had in other areas of life, and that's actually a good thing.

  • That's actually something that I started embracing because that means that I put myself in a situation that is again foreign to me, a situation where I don't feel naturally strong and dominant in, and that means that I am at a place right now.

  • I have the opportunity right now to push my boundaries.

  • To evaluate was going on around me and see how I can learn from it and see how I can progress myself and build that confidence in this area as well.

  • Embrace that uncertainty, embrace that self doubt that is such a wonderful thing to experience.

  • This is part of the growth process and I want to finish this conversation with something that is very simple and that's the idea that we have to make this big changes or to take this big risk Thio get ourselves to be more confident and that's another false belief.

  • It doesn't have to be so big.

  • You don't have to move to another country to challenge yourself.

  • You don't have Thio.

  • Take this huge project that will scare the hell out of you and won't let you sleep at night to really put yourself in a journey.

  • To become more confident, you can start small.

  • You can start with things that make you feel a little uncomfortable.

  • Like talking to a barista at your coffee shop.

  • Like asking a stranger something asking for help from someone.

  • If it's, I'd like you to ask for help and it makes you feel uncomfortable.

  • Those little things are building up the courage to go after bigger things and bigger things and bigger things.

  • And those little steps that you take will slowly make you feel a little more comfortable with them.

  • And you can go bigger and bigger and bigger and move to more risk your things.

  • So be in tune with yourself.

  • See how you can always challenge yourself to push your boundaries to make you feel uncomfortable, Thio explore outside of your comfort zone and do all these things for the future.

  • You.

  • I hope you guys enjoy this video and got something out of it.

  • Thank you so much for watching.

Hi guys.

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A2 初級

確信の神話|自信を持つ方法 (THE CONFIDENCE MYTH | How To Be More Confident)

  • 5 1
    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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