Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

  • Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

  • and life you love. And today I’ve got a question for you, have you ever wondered why

  • youre captivated by some people and not others? Or perhaps what makes you remember

  • one business or brand and completely forget the rest? In other words, what is it that

  • makes something or someone fascinating and how can you be more fascinating in your personal

  • and your professional life? My guest today has the answer.

  • Sally is the CEO and founder of Fascinate Inc. Her company studies what makes you most

  • fascinating. She’s studied over 125 thousand people and her research has been published

  • in 14 languages. But this isn’t just a usual personality test, like Myers-Briggs or Strengthsfinder.

  • She doesn’t measure how you see the world, she measures how the world sees you.

  • Sally, thank you so much for being here today on MarieTV.

  • I am so excited to be here today, Marie.

  • So I also wanna say that you are the author of a fantastic book, Fascinate. And if you

  • have not read this book, y’all need to get it and read it right now because it is amazing.

  • So, Sally, this is one of my favorite topics, teaching people how to become more fascinating.

  • And you are, honestly, the world’s expert at it. So tell us a little bit about what

  • this means. How are we to become more fascinating?

  • Well, first let’s talk about what is fascination itself. Fascination is a state of intense

  • emotional focus. So when you fascinate somebody, theyre just thinking about you. Theyre

  • not distracted, theyre not thinking about their next meeting, theyre totally captivated

  • by your message. And this is really important for us as entrepreneurs because it’s in

  • these moments that we can really communicate and connect and get people to care about what

  • we have to say.

  • Sally, that’s amazing and I can already hear people in the audience asking this question,

  • like, you know, “Am I either born with the it factor? Or can I actually learn to become

  • more fascinating?” What do you say to someone who’s asking that question?

  • On the day that you were born, you already had this innate fascination advantage. And

  • yours is gonna be different than anybody else’s, but once you understand that, once you...

  • once you can apply it and amplify it, this is when you can really earn people’s attention.

  • You don't learn how to be fascinating, you unlearn how to be boring.

  • Mm! I absolutely love that. So let’s start, I know youve got 6 tips for all of us to

  • be more fascinating, so where do we begin?

  • Well, first of all, the main thing to understand is that you already are fascinating. The point

  • is how do you communicate that? Even without realizing it, every time you walk into a room,

  • every time you open your mouth to speak, you exude certain traits. And when you understand

  • how the world sees you, that’s when you can really start to amplify it and use it

  • so that you can build rapport more easily in a more authentic way. There are 7 different

  • ways to fascinate. Power, passion, mystique, prestige, alarm, rebellion, and trust. Different

  • people use different triggers in the way in which they communicate. But your personality,

  • like all personalities, we all use 2 of these as our natural ways of communicating. And

  • it’s when we use these natural ways of communicating that we become our most influential, our most

  • naturally persuasive.

  • Right. So I know that I’ve actually done your test and many people on my team have

  • and many people in our community have as well. So let’s talk more about that, you know,

  • how important it is to understand how the world sees us, or how the world sees you.

  • So tell me more about that. Why is it so important?

  • We all grew up understanding that we needed to know how we see the world. I mean, of course,

  • this is psychology, this is... it’s... we think this is the most important thing. But

  • if we really wanna stand out, if we really wanna build a reputation and earn respect,

  • we have to understand how the world sees us. So instead of testing and measuring how you

  • see the world like a traditional personality test does, I turn it around to the other side

  • and say, “Let’s ask a different question. Let’s ask how other people respond to you,

  • what kind of first impression are you making, and then how can you use that and leverage

  • that to grow your business around your core personality strengths?

  • I also know youve talked about this concept, which is kind of new, called the Fascination

  • Halo. What does that mean?

  • When you communicate, you exude certain traits. You... it’s almost like you radiate them.

  • Think about it... it’s almost like an aura but it’s based on your core personality

  • advantages. And so when you walk into a room, people pick up on certain traits, whether

  • they realize it or not. Unconsciously their brain is perceiving certain things about you

  • instantly. Our brains are actually incredibly good at this, picking up on all the queues

  • in other people, we just don't consciously realize it. And so if you understand the way

  • the queues that people are picking up from you, then you can start to lean into that

  • and you can own it and you can harness it and you can use it to drive your business.

  • And this is really our key competitive advantage in a crowded marketplace is how does the world

  • see us and how can we use that to build relationships with people in a way that’s authentic and

  • totally in line with who we already are?

  • Right. Ok, so you know a little bit about mine, so do you wanna share what my unique

  • advantage...?

  • I do because weve... I’ve had the opportunity to give you the test and your result is that

  • you are The Talent. The Talent uses primary passion, secondary prestige. And what that

  • means is you connect very easily, but you also raise standards. Youre emotionally

  • savvy, youre very... you very quickly see social queues, youre stylish and you like

  • to visually represent yourself. That’s what we know about all talent.

  • Yes.

  • Now, my archetype, my fascination archetype, is similar to yours. Mine is named The Catalyst.

  • The Catalyst also has primary passion, so I like to connect. But my secondary is rebellion

  • which means I like creativity and change. So my key strength, my fascination halo, is

  • all around creating innovative ideas, experimental, out of the box thinking. So, in other words,

  • your greatest success that you will ever achieve is gonna be for you to understand that the

  • way people see you is that you are The Talent. Youre emotionally expressive, youre

  • visually oriented, and so it’s important for you to put yourself in roles where people

  • want that from you. If you were to put yourself in a professional situation in which your

  • success or failure was being evaluated on your ability to do nitty gritty, in the weeds,

  • detail orientation spreadsheets, youre simply not going to succeed.

  • I would die.

  • It’s not that you couldn’t do it, it’s just... it’s not the best and highest use

  • of your personality. And so for all of us, this is really the question and in a busy

  • and crowded world, what is the best and highest use of our personality?

  • So if you at home are experiencing anything like what I’m experiencing right now, youre

  • kind of like dumbfounded and like, “Sally, just talk to me. I just wanna listen to you.

  • Keep giving it to me, woman.” This is the state of fascination. Am I right?

  • The neurological state of fascination. Right now your brain is opened up, youre in a

  • state of relaxed happiness, youre focused, and in this moment I’m really able to communicate

  • with you. And this is what we want to achieve with our loved ones, with our clients, with

  • people that we meet, on a first date.

  • Right.

  • It’s this kind of communication that you can achieve if you understand what your core

  • personality advantage is.

  • Right. And, you know, one of the other things you talk about is provoking a strong emotional

  • response and, you know, I think that’s something that I’ve been doing in my business since

  • the beginning that I was really doing it unconsciously or it wasn’t really, like, a strategy that

  • I set out and said, “Oh, I wanna provoke a strong emotional response,” it just really

  • is natural to who I am. So let’s talk about provoking a strong emotional response for

  • a minute.

  • When the brain experiences emotion, it has a very specific way of remembering it, it

  • makes us think and listen and act and connect. It’s... this is different than information.

  • You can forget information, but youre never gonna forget emotion. And so if you wanna

  • be unforgettable one of the best things that you can do is to create a strong and immediate

  • emotional response. For example, when you write your emails, Marie, I love getting your

  • emails. I open them up and I just wanna devour them because you use these mouthwatering adjectives

  • and you describe these really vivid mental images. Youre not reporting facts, although

  • there always is a lot of information in your emails. Youre giving me an emotional experience,

  • and that... or, think of it almost as like little mental hooks that youre giving to

  • your reader. So in the same way, for all of us, we... if all we do is just throw information

  • out there, that can be forgotten or ignored. But if we get an emotional response from people,

  • then we become unforgettable.

  • So speaking of being unforgettable, you know, one of the things I’ve talked about for

  • years is how powerful it is, especially in this day and age, the fact that we can really

  • take our personalities and infuse them into our businesses or our careers, whatever were

  • doing in terms of livelihood. And I love that you say, “When you build your business,

  • and your career, around your personality that that’s really the best thing that we can

  • do.” So let’s dive into that a little bit more.

  • You don't have to change who you are to become your most successful. In fact, it’s the

  • opposite. You need to become more of who you are. And when you become more of who you are,

  • it feels effortless.

  • Yes.

  • There’s no energy, there’s no resistance in becoming more of who you already are. So

  • it’s not a matter of trying to become successful in a role, it’s a matter of choosing which

  • roles support you in naturally succeeding.

  • You know, this is so interesting because I remember a couple years back thinking about,

  • like, my particular take on business and personal development and I have such a goofy personality

  • and oftentimes a little bit of a twisted sense of humor. And I remember the thoughts in my

  • head, you know, like, “Oh, this isn’t professional,” or, “Youre a little

  • bit on the fringe,” like, “You shouldn't be doing this.” And it’s so wild because

  • sometimes I’ll get tweets or I’ll get, you know, email notes or messages on Facebook

  • of people saying, “Thank you for making me laugh today.” You know, “Thank you

  • for not taking yourself so seriously,” and it’s always been those little reminders

  • that kind of give me a little more fuel to think, “Ok, I’m not totally nuts for just

  • being myself.” So I really resonate with what you just shared.

  • I think for a lot of us, we want so much to be liked...

  • Yeah.

  • That we boil ourselves down to this grey, watery mush.

  • Yes.

  • If youre trying to create messages for everybody, you end up speaking to nobody.

  • That’s right.

  • And, in fact, I’ll even take it a step further. If youre not creating a negative response

  • from somebody, youre not fascinating to anybody.

  • I love that you just said that because I think one of the things that can happen for us as

  • business owners, especially in this day and age where creating content and putting messages

  • out on a consistent basis requires us to put ourselves out there. And youre gonna get

  • people that say nasty things, you know, and especially in the world of the internet, you

  • know, and our videos are on YouTube and that’s... while there’s, you know, millions if not

  • billions of amazing and gorgeous, wonderful, heart centered people, you know, there can

  • be a small pool of folks who are just venomous and say the most horrific things that can

  • just get you kind of right in the gut. And I know that over the years, you know, I’ve

  • developed more of a thicker skin, but when someone’s first starting out, you know,

  • a comment that’s negative can really knock people on their butts for a little bit and

  • make them question everything and think that theyre doing it all wrong. So I love hearing

  • you say that and I think it’s something that we all kind of need to hear more of.

  • It means youre doing something right. It’s really important to be strategically polarizing.

  • For example, on my website, my tagline says, “A Hogshead is a barrel that holds 62 gallons.

  • So what’s your last name, smartass?” And I know for a fact that there are certain clients

  • that have literally said, “We were gonna hire you and now were not going to.”

  • Yes.

  • And, you know what? That’s fine. What a great screener.

  • Yeah.

  • I shouldn’t be working with them anyway.

  • Right.

  • I’m The Catalyst. I mean, The Catalyst comes out big and wants to play and wants to create

  • something. Were not there to toe the line and follow protocol.

  • Right.

  • So it’s really... it’s actually great to have those screeners in your brand, for

  • your company and for your personal brand, to say, “I’m not for everybody, but the

  • people who love me really love me.”

  • Yeah and, you know, it speaks really well too because not so long ago when I was on

  • Oprah, I remember a couple years back, you know, Oprah’s been someone that’s been

  • on my list for a long time. I love and admire her. And I remember thinking to myself sometimes

  • I’m like, “Wow, my brand is not, like, serious enough to get the attention of someone

  • like Oprah because it feels a little, again, a little, like, on the fringe or a little,

  • you know, I’m a little quirky or whatever.” And it was really awesome, to be honest with

  • you, to be able to say, “You know what? I can be fully me and still meet with and

  • connect with some of my biggest mentors who are very different than I am, but still there’s

  • that resonance and there’s that understanding.” So it’s just more confirmation of what youre

  • saying.

  • Can I add one more thing?

  • Yeah, please.

  • So in my house we buy vanilla ice cream and we purposefully buy vanilla ice cream because

  • even though nobody loves vanilla ice cream, everybody will eat it. It’s kind of like

  • the lowest common denominator, you can put it with anything.

  • Right.

  • Businesses can be the vanilla ice cream of their category if they have a big budget.

  • In other words, if you have the biggest budget in your category, you can be a little bit

  • boring. You don't need people to love you, you don't need people to champion for you.

  • But if you don't have the biggest budget, you need to be the pistachio. Pistachio is

  • a niche flavor that not everybody loves. In fact, a lot of people hate it, but the people

  • who love it really, really, really love it. They will drive across town for it, theyll

  • pay more for it, they wanna eat more volumes, they wanna talk about it. You know, the pistachio

  • fan club waves its flag proudly.

  • Yes.

  • So you can either be the vanilla or you can be the pistachio. If you don't have the biggest

  • budget then you need to be the most fascinating, you need to be the pistachio ice cream.

  • Sally, I absolutely love this conversation. I could talk to you for hours. But let’s

  • wrap this up with this idea, and this is one of my favorites. You say the world is not

  • changed by people who sort of care. What do you mean by that?

  • The world is not changed by people who sort of care. The world isn’t changed by companies

  • who sort of care. The world is changed by people who passionately, irrationally, audaciously

  • care. And if you want people to care about you and your company, then you need to communicate

  • your core personality advantages and when you do, people will passionately care about

  • you.

  • Sally, I could not agree more with you and I love that point. And thank you so much for

  • being here today with us. This was amazing.

  • Thank you Marie. I am fascinated by you and so happy to be able to be here with you.

  • Well, this is the first of many times, I’m sure. So, as always on MarieTV, what we like

  • to do is challenge you to take all of the goodness and the insight that we talked about

  • and put it into action. So here’s our deal, Sally and I would love to hear from you in

  • the comments below. What is the one single personality trait have that you could turn

  • up the volume with and amplify more in your business or in your life? As always, the best

  • conversations happen after the episode at MarieForleo.com, so go there and leave a comment

  • now.

  • Did you like this video? If so, subscribe and share it with your friends. And if you

  • want even more great resources to create a business and life that you love, plus some

  • personal insights from me that I only talk about in email, get your buns over to MarieForleo.com

  • and sign up for email updates. Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because

  • the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and

  • I’ll see you next time on MarieTV.

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

字幕と単語

ワンタップで英和辞典検索 単語をクリックすると、意味が表示されます

B1 中級

魅せる (Fascinate)

  • 392 58
    姚易辰 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
動画の中の単語