Since we got together.

Next year, since our first album came out. 20 years.

Hats off to you.

CHEERING

20 years ago, I think this is your first ever photo shoot,

and bear in mind this is the photograph they approved...

There were worse pictures from this photo shoot...

There they are.

It seems unlikely that they would be global superstars.

There they are. What's wrong with you?!

At that time, we were only really eating pasties,

and Mars milk that you get from the service station.

That chocolate milk. That's all we would eat

and we thought, we're going to look great, no problem.

And we didn't really have anyone to tell us what to wear.

What, there wasn't a stylist?

LAUGHTER

Yeah.

We paid this guy £8,000 and we never saw him again.

Had to do it ourselves. Please tell me that isn't true.

No, it's not true.

You look at Coldplay now, and you are gods,

and you tour the world.

And you're sitting beside Hugh Grant.

Yeah, Hugh. I know you're a fan. I'm a giant fan of Hugh.

Likewise, likewise. You want to see my tattoo?

Have you got... No, I haven't.

Didn't you send him fanmail? I sent him fanmail as a 40-year-old man.

So, recently. Recently.

Not so much since the restraining order, but...

No, it was really nice of you. I was very flattered.

Every time I've ever met Hugh he's very grumpy,

he's like, "Whatever, rock star, fuck off."

And then starts flirting with your other half...!

So, it was after...

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

This is true.

It was after A Very British Scandal, I thought,

"I'm going to tell Hugh that I think he's wonderful."

Because I've loved his work ever since he started 45 years ago...

I really have.

And after British Scandal and Paddington 2, I thought...

I think I just wrote, "Hey, I love you."

It was very nice.

And he replied, and it was very gracious. That's all good. Yeah.

Shall we leave this, now? I don't come out of this too badly.

I'm crap on music, that's why I've been...

I've only got two records. One of them is Godspell.

The other one is the band of the Grenadier Guards.

Good album. It's my sex tape.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH