this time we’re talking about whether it’s ever okay to talk over a marginalised person.

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Today we’re going to be talking about rights and language. Who has the rights to talk in

certain situations and who has the right to decide when language is offensive?

This video was sparked by a comment I was asked on my Twitter- which you can find a

link to below: @jessicaootc (which is the shortening of my instagram handle @jessicaoutofthecloset):

Is it ever okay for an ablebodied person to speak over a disabled person?

To which my unpopular opinion is…

yes.

Yes, in some cases it is.

Don’t come for me just yet! Wait until the end of the video to get angry, I do have a

point here, promise.

Firstly, what is a marginalised group?

Marginalisation – sometimes also called social exclusion – refers to the relegation

to the fringes of society due to a lack of access to rights, resources, and opportunities

that are normally available to members of a different group. This may be due to a person’s

social class, lack of education, disability, race, religion, sexuality or appearance. Bear

in mind that a group doesn’t need to be in the minority to be marginalised. In mid

19th century Russia, serfs made up the majority of the population but were the most oppressed.

To my mind however, the issue of grouping people together is in itself problematic because

as human beings no two of us are the same.

I fall into the LGBTQ+ group, right?

I’m a gay, homosexual, rainbow blooded, lady-loving, in it for the long-run lesbian.

I can talk about women-loving-women issues until the cows come home! BUT, does that give

me the authority to talk over gay men on an issue that affects men who love men?

No.

Does that give me the right to speak over a trans person on issues about gender?

Definitely not!

Equally, do I, as a white person, have the right to talk over a person of colour about racism?

100% no.

I think we’re all agreed on these points, right? Seems pretty obvious and easy to grasp.

If it’s not your lane, stay out of it!

Buuuut… that’s very simplified.

Take as an example a homeless gay teenager. Who is better able to speak to what would help

them whilst they’re living on the streets: a straight person who was once homeless or

a gay person who has never been homeless?

There are many intersections in our lived experiences. No one else on Earth has ever

nor will ever live the exact copy of your life. Think about the parts of you that make

up your identity: from the colour of your skin to your taste in music to the friend

group you had when you were five. It’s easiest to see when you have siblings: they largely

share your genes and were raised by the same people but how incredibly different are you?

I'm very different from my brother.

He doesn't like small dogs!

Weirdo.

So, people are different but can still be grouped into some of the same loose boxes.

Or circles.

We’re pretty much all amazingly complex ven diagrams that occassionally knock against

or overlap other people and then smack each other around in a colourful rush of confetti.

I have an issue however when we start to consider ‘disabled’ as a group that can be ‘easily’

lobbed into one circle.

It’s tosh.

[bell sfx]

As with the example I gave of the homeless LGBT teenager, there is always going to be

difficulty in discerning who has the right to speak in a situation where a person cannot

speak for themselves-

And by ‘cannot’ I mean either literally can’t or, as in that case, is deemed by

law to be unable to due to age or a range of other factors.

To my mind: does being disabled allow you to speak for

all disabled people on all ‘disability issues’...?

Not in the slightest.

I am fully aware that I in no way speak for more people than just myself. These are my

thoughts, this channel is just my feelings so please bear that in mind whilst watching.

- Just because I don’t like something does not in any way mean I am casting a value judgement

on whether something should annoy you in the same way or not.

As I see it, the label ‘disabled’ is drastically unlike the label ‘lesbian’. To break it

down: it’s the difference between cats and dogs. And yes, I’m using cats to symbolise

lesbians. Some cliches are true people!

- not for me, actually, I’m really allergic to cats and also slightly terrified of them.

I’ll hold a tarantula before I stroke a cat.

- it smells my fear and it’s coming for me, okay?!

- the spider won’t kill me but the cat might!

… I’m aware some spiders can actually kill people. But I live in England, I’m

surrounded by ninja cats.

Moving away from my feline fears…

Lesbians are like cats because they come in different colours but they’re all pretty

much the same: women who love women. Sure, there are some outlyer ones but are they really

that different? Also there are some people that pretty much all lesbians love.

Like cat people.

Disability however… well, it’s INCREDIBLY varied. A St Bernard and a Chihuahua are not

the same. They don’t experience life in the same way.

Although yes, they are both dogs.

I talked earlier about how all humans are individual but within the realm of disability

that can be even more stark.

There are so many different types of disability that being a disabled person does not give

you the right or the ability to talk over other disabled people about issues that affect

them. Take for instance the straw ban. I made a video about why the straw ban is harmful

for disabled people. There were a number of comments that said

‘well, I’m disabled

and I don’t need straws so you can’t say that’ or

‘I’m disabled and I use paper

straws so everyone else should do the same.’

Eugh!

This, my friend, is a false equivalency.

A person who is disabled by only having one leg does not necessarily understand the life

of a person who is disabled by only having one hand. A person who is disabled by a mental

health problem does not necessarily understand someone who has a learning disability.

It's an incredibly complex and nuanced group of people.

Which I’m now going to make even more complex by bringing in non-disabled people

who CAN speak to a problem.

You're welcome.

There is a group of people within the disabled community who ARE voiceless and NEED someone

else to speak for them- not because they’re invalidated by society but because they are

unable to express themselves. In the case of a person with a severe learning disability

say, who is better able to speak to their needs: a disabled person with a different

disability or the able-bodied person who cares for them every day?

Now, this is in no way to say that parents of disabled children should be allowed to

silence the voices of the community their child is a part of- neurotypical parents of

autistic children do not get to shut down autistic adults and they do not always have

the right to the spaces carved out for those people.

What I’m talking about here is a knowledge base. Particularly when an argument is occurring

and no people with first hand experience are available to stand for their side. The person

with greater knowledge of the subject as lived, I would say, has the upper hand, regardless

of whether they are disabled or not.

Please note I said ‘as lived’. That’s to exclude health care professionals.

Now, I’m British, so I’m all for doctors

- rah, rah!

- they’re employed by the NHS, they’re not actually making oodles of money and they’re

all trying to do their best.

BUT. And correct me if you think I’m wrong…

The expert in my condition may have worked and studied for 50 years to try and understand

it but I’m 30 and I will always know more. You know why? Because she gets to go home

in the evening. She gets to switch off. She can live her life without thinking about it.

But I can’t. For me it is every second of every day.

And if you’re the able-bodied full-time carer for someone then you can also be living

that condition every second of every day. Not to the extent that you can speak over

that person if they are able to voice themselves and not to the degree that you can hush someone

with the same condition but you have that knowledge.

Being disabled doesn't make you suddenly knowledgeable on all aspects of disabilities.

"I'm disabled and I don't use straws" is all well and good but adding

"so no disabled person

needs straws" is clearly ridiculous.

If there is a non-disabled person present with first hand experience of a particular

aspect of disability that the disabled person does not know about then I think it's perfectly

appropriate to voice that.

A person born with only one hand might not need to use ramps, but do they then have the

right to argue that there should be no ramps at all? Clearly not. Should a non-disabled

person who cares for a ramp user (eg. a spouse/sibling) be allowed to argue back that ramps should

stay? Definitely!

Although the person with first hand experience of using the ramp should

be allowed to speak first, if they are not there when the argument is taking place then

I certainly feel that it is entirely appropriate for the non-disabled person to argue their point.

Look.

Policing each other will always be unhelpful but so will allowing people to speak on things

they have no knowledge about.

That’s my two-cents. [bell sfx]

I’m intrigued to see whether my fear of cats is actually the real hot-take in this video.

I hope I used that term right. I’m not great at internet slang. I’m secretly your grandmother.

Hello sweetheart.

Thank you for watching all the way to the end. You get sweeties for that because clearly

that’s what grandparents are for.

Let me know what you think in the comments. Please subscribe if you haven’t already

and I’ll see you in my next video.

[kiss]