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  • LIFE," WELL NOW SHE'S GOT A NEW

  • BOOK OUT "CONFESSIONS

  • OF AN HEIRESS: A TONGUE-IN-CHIC

  • PEEK BEHIND THE POSE."

  • PLEASE WELCOME PARIS HILTON.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • >> Conan: WOW.

  • >> HI.

  • >> Conan: HI.

  • THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S REALLY ME.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • BIG THRILL FOR YOU.

  • THANKS FOR BEING HERE

  • ON THE SHOW.

  • YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • >> Conan: YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

  • YOU NEVER -- AND YOU SAID THIS

  • IN INTERVIEWS AND

  • IN YOUR BOOK -- YOU NEVER WEAR

  • THE SAME OUTFIT TWICE.

  • IS THAT TRUE?

  • >> WELL, I'LL WEAR, LIKE,

  • THE SAME JEANS TWICE, BUT NOT,

  • LIKE, THE SAME DRESS.

  • >> Conan: SO YOU'RE DONE

  • WITH THIS DRESS.

  • WHAT HAPPENS TO IT?

  • >> I'LL GIVE IT TO CHARITY,

  • OR ONE OF MY GIRLFRIENDS.

  • >> Conan: RIGHT.

  • COULD I HAVE THAT DRESS, PLEASE?

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> YES.

  • >> Conan: I'D LIKE TO WEAR IT

  • AROUND TONIGHT IN MY APARTMENT.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • ■■, YOU WEAR AN OUTFIT -- THAT'S

  • WHAT I DO.

  • DON'T JUDGE ME.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • SO YOU WEAR AN OUTFIT ONCE,

  • AND THEN THAT'S IT, AND IT'S

  • SO THAT YOU NEVER ARE CAUGHT

  • LIKE IN A MAGAZINE --

  • >> I'VE DONE THAT ONCE,

  • AND THEY WROTE IN THE MAGAZINE

  • LIKE, "PARIS HAS ONE OUTFIT."

  • >> Conan: RIGHT.

  • WELL, A LOT OF US DON'T HAVE

  • A LOT OF OUTFITS, YOU KNOW.

  • I'VE GOT THREE SUITS THAT

  • I INTERCHANGE IN THIS SHOW.

  • >> THAT'S HOT.

  • >> Conan: YEAH.

  • YOU LIKE THIS?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: J.C. PENNEY.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • I THINK MANY PEOPLE THANK

  • YOU FOR HELPING TO START THIS

  • TREND OF SHOWING THE MIDRIFF.

  • IT'S VERY SEXY, A LOT OF WOMEN

  • NOW ARE SHOWING THEIR MIDR■■F.

  • I THINK YOU HELPED POPULARIZE

  • THIS TREND.

  • YOU SAY IN YOUR BOOKEVERYBODY

  • SHOULD SHOW THEIR MIDRIFF.

  • DO YOU REALLY MEAN EVERYBODY?

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE

  • MY MIDRIFF?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: NO, YOU DON'T.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • NO, YOU DON'T.

  • IN THE INDUSTRY, WE CALL THAT

  • "PITY APPLAUSE."

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • BUT DO YOU REALLY MEAN

  • EVERYBODY?

  • I MEAN WHAT IF GUYS STARTED

  • WALKING AROUND WITH

  • THEIR MIDRIFFS SHOWING?

  • >> NO, THAT WOULD LOOK SO LAME.

  • >> Conan: YEAH, THAT WOULD LOOK

  • HORRIBLE.

  • AND IF YOU'RE WALKING LIKE

  • THIS -- I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M

  • WALKING LIKE THIS IN THIS

  • SCENARIO.

  • ■■UR BOOK BEGINS WITH RULES.

  • ALL RIGHT, YOU HAVE RULES

  • IN YOUR BOOK.

  • ONE IS, HAVE A GREAT NAME.

  • IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOU NAME

  • OR IT'S NOT A GREAT NAME, YOU'RE

  • SUGGESTING PEOPLE SHOULD

  • CHANGE IT.

  • >> CHANGE IT, YEAH.

  • >> Conan: REALLY?

  • WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "CONAN?"

  • BE HONEST, I CAN TAKE IT.

  • >> IT'S KINDA LAME.

  • >> Conan: IT'S LAME.

  • [ AUDIENCE OHS ]

  • HEY, WAIT A MINUTE -- LISTEN.

  • I ASKED, SHE'S TELLING ME

  • SHE THINKS IT'S LAME.

  • SO, PARIS --

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]■■■■

  • WHAT WOULD BE A GOOD NAME

  • FOR ME?

  • >> LONDON.

  • >> Conan: LONDON?■■

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: THERE'S A TUNNEL

  • BETWEEN LONDON AND PARIS NOW.■■

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

  • WHAT ABOUT LIKE "DEX"

  • OR "BLAZE?"

  • WHAT IF MY NAME WAS "BLAZE?"

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> NO.

  • >> Conan: COME ON.

  • "HEY, BLAZE, LET'S GO OUT

  • ON THE■■OWN."

  • >> NO, I THINK "LONDON."

  • >> Conan: HOW ABOUT "CHIP?"

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • [ IN HIGH VOICE ]

  • "I'M CHIP, HOW ARE YA?"

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • YOU DON'T LIKE CHIP?

  • >> NO, IT DOESN'T WORK.

  • >> BOSCO?

  • REX?

  • DEXTER?

  • >> BROOKLYN.

  • >> Conan: BROOKLYN?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: BROOKLYN?

  • HOW ABOUT WILLIAMSBURG?

  • WHAT IF I'M WILLIAMSBURG?

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • JEWISH NAME, IT'S A JEWISH

  • NAME -- WILLIAMS BERG.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • YOU SAY IN YOUR BOOK, "ALWAYS

  • HAVE A TAN."

  • >> YEAH.

  • IT LOOKS LIKE YOU TRAVEL ALL

  • THE TIME THEN.■■

  • >> Conan: WELL, I CAN'T GET

  • A TAN, I CANNOT HAVE A TAN.

  • >> YOU CAN DO THE SPRAY ON.

  • >> Conan: THE SPRAY ON?

  • >> MYSTIC.■■

  • >> Conan: THAT WOULD COVER

  • IN ALL THE FRECKLES AND I WOULD

  • LOOK LIKE FERNANDO LLAMAS.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • WITH A "BOB'S BIG BOY" HAIRCUT.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • YOU SAY, "ACT DITZY, LOSE

  • THINGS."

  • THAT'S ADVICE THAT YOU'RE GIVING

  • PEOPLE -- ACT DITZY, LOSE

  • THINGS.

  • WHY?

  • >> 'CAUSE IT'S CUTE.

  • >> Conan: IT'S CUTE?

  • IT'S NOT ALWAYS CUTE -- WHEN

  • AN AIRPLANE PILOT ACTS DITZY,

  • IT'S NOT FUN.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> I KNOW, I'M SAYING --

  • >> Conan: IT WORKS FOR SPECIFIC

  • PEOPLE, MAYBE.

  • IT'S CUTE WHEN CERTAIN PEOPLE DO

  • IT, BUT WHEN A BRAIN SURGEON'S

  • LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M

  • DOING --"

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • IT'S BAD, BAD NEWS.

  • YOU SAY, "IF YOU'RE HAPPY, WEAR

  • PINK."

  • SERIOUSLY?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: EVEN FOR MEN?

  • >> I'M DISAPPOINTED YOU DIDN'T

  • WEAR PINK.

  • YOU KNOW I WAS COMING

  • ON THE SHOW.

  • >> Conan: WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW

  • I'M HAPPY?

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • I COULD BE VER■■AFRAID YOU'RE

  • COMING ON THE SHOW.

  • NO, I'M WEARING BLUE TO BRING

  • OUT MY -- ISN'T IT NICE --

  • MY EYES.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: OKAY, I FORCED

  • YOU TO SAY THAT.

  • >> WELL, ALL THESE RULES -- I'M

  • NOT SERIOUS.

  • >> Conan: RIGHT, IT'S JUST KINDA

  • GOOFING AROUND.

  • >> THE WHOLE BOOK IS LIKE

  • A JOKE, IT'S A SPOOF ON MY LIFE.

  • AND IT'S FUNNY AND --

  • I'M JOKING AROUND, I KNOW A LOT

  • OF PEOPLE CAN'T FOLLOW THESE

  • RULES.

  • >> Conan: RIGHT, RIGHT.

  • ALL RIGHT, LET ME ASK YOU SOME

  • OTHER THINGS.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • 'CAUSE ONE OF THE RULES IS "BE

  • BORN INTO THE RIGHT FAMILY."

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • THAT'S A HARD ONE.

  • [ APPLAUSE ]

  • I'M HEIR TO THE O'BRIEN FORTUNE.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> EXACTLY.

  • >> Conan: THAT'S ONE MOTEL CHAIN

  • YOU DO NOT WANT TO VISIT.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • ALL RIGHT.

  • YOU HAVE SO MANY --

  • YOU HAVE BECOME AN INDUSTRY

  • FOR ALL THESE DIFFERENT

  • PRODUCTS, NOW.

  • SO MANY THAT I'M WONDERING

  • IF YOU'RE EVEN FULLY AWARE

  • OF ALL THE PRODUCTS THAT ARE OUT

  • THERE RIGHT NOW THAT YOU'RE

  • ASSOCIATED WITH.

  • DO YOU MIND IF I READ YOU A LIST

  • AND YOU TELL ME IF THIS IS ONE

  • OF YOUR PRODUCTS OR NOT?

  • >> YES.■■

  • >> Conan: OKAY.

  • MOST OF THESE ARE REAL,

  • AND I PUT A FEW THAT AREN'T

  • REAL, JUST IN CASE.

  • [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

  • ALL RIGHT, COSTUME JEWELRY.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: OKAY.

  • MAKE UP?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: PERFUME?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: INSECT REPELLENT?

  • >> NO.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> Conan: MUSIC CDs?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: MAPLE SYRUP?

  • >> NO.

  • >> Conan: SWEAT SUITS?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: WOW.

  • SHOES?

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> Conan: ARTIFICIAL HEART

  • VALVE?

  • >> NO.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • >> Conan: A PINK ARTIFICIAL

  • ■■ART VALVE WOULD BE SO CUTE.

  • ALL RIGHT, LET'S TALK

  • ABOUT YOUR DOG.