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my name's Chris Anderson.
I'm the guy lucky enough to run the head organization eyes.
It's a treat to be here with you.
Thank you so much for taking time to come and be part of this.
This is new for Ted.
This is, you know, we're known for Ted talks.
He we're gonna spend an hour in conversation with some of the world's.
Why is this people?
Because this is a moment when we need that wisdom.
More than ever, though, we're facing the pandemic that we were warned about.
You know, these are extraordinary times.
Times will remember for the rest of our lives, I suspect, and it's not like, you know, the battle is just the external battle, the battle against the virus, the decisions that are leaders make.
There's this other battle as well.
That is probably equally as consequential.
Um, it's a battle that's going on right inside our minds.
I mean, you know, if you're anything like me, you've had heard this real roller coaster of emotions the last few days.
Weeks.
Um, this is scary.
This is different.
This is alarming.
You know, we don't know what what to make of it.
A lot of us and the decisions we make collectively, I think they're gonna be hugely consequential.
One scenario.
There's a chance that we can use this moment to build community, to build bonds with each other, to get to know each other in different ways, to spend time with people who haven't spent time with, to look for the best in each other.
And, ah, another scenario of fear and anger will drive us apart.
I'd like to introduce the question in chief, my wonderful colleague, the Fed's current affairs curator, Whitney Pennington Rogers.
Thanks so much, Chris and hello to everyone joining us all around the world.
Chris will be back later to take part in this conversation.
He will come with some of your questions and so on to our guests.
You know, as Chris mentioned, there's so much happening in the media, so much conversation around the Corona virus, and oftentimes it's focused on the things that our government officials are doing the decisions that they're making.
So what's happening to our lives physically?
What are some of the changes that were experiencing as faras working remotely social distancing, but what often is overlooked is the social and the emotional toll that this is all taking off all of us, which is a really, critically important in a very real part of how we're all experiencing this pandemic.
And so we're really thrilled to be joined today by renowned author and Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan Leave it.
She gave a hugely popular Ted talk about emotional courage and the impact that understanding your emotions can have on your lives on our lives.
And so we're excited to chat with her about how we can approach this as we're experiencing this pandemic in this moment, thank you for inviting into the conversation.
I'm delighted to be part of it.
I really appreciate it.
Thank you so much for being here with us today.
Zoo where were again excited to have you.
And I guess, first and foremost how are you doing?
How are you holding up?
Well, I think like everyone we're doing the best we can, given the circumstances.
My husband is a physician at MGH, and it's really a stock reality when One week you saying, you know, can you pick up groceries?
And the next week you exchanging emergency contact information of something would go wrong.
So, you know, we're all living this reality, and I think trying to find the inner resources to do that in the best way we can is just a profound importance right now.
Thank you.
Yeah, definitely.
I'm glad to hear that you're managing and hanging in there.
Your work is is so focused around how we can best prepare ourselves emotionally and psychologically for these moments of change and complexity on and you have this really beautiful saying about life's beauty is inseparable from its fragility.
What does that mean?
And how does that apply to the current moment?
We're all experienced.
Well, I think we all know this internally at some level, that there is this complex, an intimate, beautiful relationship between the beauty of life and the fragility of life We love and then we lose.
We are healthy and all we are ill.
We in jobs in which we needed.
Until those jobs are no longer, we might, you know, roller eyes and yell at our kids and awesome to tidy the rooms.
And then one day there's silence Where the child once waas, they're now making their way in the world.
And so There's this complex interplay between the beauty and the fragility of life.
That just is what makes the wholeness off life.
And yet, so often in our narratives in society, we talk about, you know, focusing on success and being positive all the time and gold sitting.
And you know, there's this whole even even our avoidance that we have, really.
I think it a very broad level in society are avoidance of talking about what is the most common future that all of us are common experience that all of us will go through, which is to die.
And yet so much of our society is constructed around preventing avoidance denial off this reality.
And you know, the circumstance that we and now is not something that we asked for.
But life is calling on every single one of us to move into the place of wisdom in ourselves beyond the thinking judgy county, mind into the space, off wisdom and fortitude and solidarity, community courage.
And it's a calling for all of us right now that, I think is just star in mission.
What is in our expert under now reality the fragility of life right now?
Thank you for that.
And I mean and I think that for a lot of us, we were thinking about how our lives have changed, you know?
And we are approaching this idea of happiness.
So many of the things that at one point I really did bring us a lot of joy being able to go out with friends and socialize and spend physical time with loved ones.
So many of those things have changed.
But, you know, I guess in this moment how do you advisor Weird, cultivate happiness and enjoy with everything that's going on.
Well, so just to be clear, firstly, I'm not anti happiness, which you'll understand what I'm saying.
This as a progress.
I thanks for that.
Often again, we have this narrative in society that is about to be happy and be positive.
And, uh, whilst that may sound like it's the right thing and it sounds like that is the thing that we should all be saying, you know, just keep positive or, you know, when people are experiencing cancer, they're told to just be positive or when people are being marginalized or discriminate against, to stop being so angry.
You know, we have in our society this I'm almost judgment that happiness and joy are the most important emotional experiences that we can have end.
On the other hand, there's so called bed or negative emotions are frustration, anxiety, grief, loss, the sadness.
And so what we do is we often become very comfortable with happiness and we become uncomfortable with those difficult emotions and we pushed them aside.
But I think what's still often happens when we try to pursue some idea of well, going out was what made me happy or I can't go coming this weekend and now I can't be happy is what we're doing is we're basically said, establishing the anchor point of happiness around expectations or goals and what we know.
Actually, when we look at the scientific literature is that when we overly strongly focus on happiness is a goal.
We actually become less happy over time, and it is really interesting paradox because it's we almost seeking something as opposed to just living our lives in a way that is compassionate and accepting.
What I would say is that rather than tryingto find happiness, I think now, for all of us is actually a space for us, too, Coming into ourselves to come into our emotions too, not try to brush away the grief or the loneliness of the anxiety, but two rather face into that.
One of those stories that I spoke about in that head talk which has really duck with me My whole life was when I was about five years old.
I became absolutely aware off the fact that I was going to die one day and this is very normal.
Around the edge of five or six years old.
Children become aware of their own mortality, and that became aware of the fact that I was going to die and that my parents weren't going to be around forever.
And I would find my way into my parent's bed at night, you know, squeezing between the two of them.
And I would say to my father and my mother, you promised me that you won't die.
Promise me you won't die.
And I was five and I was desperate, and my father was so profoundly beautiful in the way he holds me during those nights, he didn't try to build some false narrative or just be positive.
I'm gonna be around.
Don't worry about me.
Everything's fine.
He didn't try to build some false narrative between me and reality.
What he said to me is dizzy.
It's normal to be scared.
We all die and it's normal to be scared.
And what we need to do is we need to not try to away with fear, but rather to reach inside ourselves and to find the courage.
And I think that is a message for our times, which is not to try rush aside or a little judge yourself if you experiencing difficult emotions.
This is a tough time, but rather we can use strategies to enable us to be with those emotions in healthy ways, which is the whole foundational experience off what I call emotional agility.
This is ultimately what will enable us to bring the best of ourselves forward in every aspect of how we love and how we lead in these times, we parents and how we come to ourselves.
And I think that that's exactly what we'd love to hear more about is this emotional agility that she just reference?
Maybe just first start there.
What is emotional agility?
What are the the maintenance off this philosophy.
Well, the first part of the martial agility, which is really critical, is moving away from I think what so many of us have.
I did some research where I was asking people, you know, when you have difficult emotional experiences, what do you tend to do with them?
And I did surveys of around 70,000 people.
And what I found is that a large majority of us maybe, you know, driven by this narrative off, I've got to be happy and positive all the time.
What we tend to do when we have these difficult emotional experiences is we do we judge that we've been little, then we push them aside all we get stuck in them.
So the language that I use is we often bottle our emotions.
We rationalize them and we push them aside all we brewed on them, and we get stuck in them and what emotional agility is.
And I can talk about this, you know, in terms of its principles, but also its strategies in more detail.
But really, what emotional agility is, it's the ability to be with ourselves are full Selves are full emotional experience in ways that are compassionate because the cyst tough and the's emotions are riel.
So we need to be compassionate with ourselves and others.
We need to be curious.
You know, what is my frustration telling me about what's important to me?
What is my guilt telling me when I'm interacting with my Children right now?
What is that telling me about what's important.
There are so many millions of people who are jobless or disenfranchised or in situations off profound difficulty right now.
And I've got anger towards that.
What is my anger told me about what I value.
So if we can move into a space way instead of pushing aside these sign posts that our emotions give us and instead move into a space where we are compassionate with them, where we curious with them and where we start saying, How can I?
Even in the midst off here, I don't need to do away with my fear.
The fear just is it's my body.
It's my mind.
It's my motions doing their job.
Our emotions have evolved to help us, and so when we feel fear, that's our emotion, trying to help us.
So the important thing here is not to do away with it, but also not to get stuck in it.
So to develop a sense of what a courageous steps that I can take, even in the midst of a reality that I didn't choose.
And that isn't off my asking, How can I bring myself forward and whether it's courageous and connected?
So in brief emotional agility is the ability to be with ourselves in the awfulness with compassion and curiosity so that we can live in ways that are.
Then he's connected.
That's beautiful.
And I think that for me, that's definitely really meaningful and thinking about how I'm personally experiencing a lot of this.
And I imagine, for a lot of folks and and so I'm curious than thinking about emotional agility free, you know, a pandemic.
And today, what are some of the differences between how you might private practice that before and how you're practicing that now?
What are some of the ways practicing emotional agility has changed?
Well, I think the principles of emotional agility are actually fundamental principles off psychological health and wellness, regardless of the context that we end, regardless of whether we stressed in our job or, you know, struggling to be with our Children in a way that effective over dinner time, you know, those much have bean the day today, realities that we experiencing.
And I think that all that's really happened is the need for emotional agility becomes so much more profound and so much clearer.
We also are deciding whether we let that narrative that is coming through the media own us, whether we're gonna let our emotions own us or whether we are gonna exert some kind of empowerment and connection over these experiences and whether we gonna earn it.
And you know what always just comes to mind and it's It's probably very oft used phrase, but it really, I think, is so profoundly important right now.
I think, as I'm speaking off that beautiful Victor Frankel idea, Victor Frankel, who survive the Nazi death camps, who describes what I think is the most profoundly powerful human sentiment and it's this that between stimulus and response, there is a space, and in that space is our power to choose.
And it's in that choice that lies our growth and freedom.
We didn't choose these circumstances.
Often.
What happens is we get hooked.
We get into an experience where there's no space between stimulus and response.
We either mindlessly, you know, go on tar Twitter feeds and we engage with the news and recon testifies or we feeling so stressed out.
Are we avoiding all?
And so I think this is really a time off getting space between stimulus and response.
We do that by being open to what we experiencing by saying what I need to do here.
But being intentional and the particular strategies, start thinking short.
Answer your question.
You know, emotional agility are basically the skills that are foundational to wellness within ourselves, to being healthy within ourselves every day.
What's happening in this context is we are needing to bring those skills with greater courage and strength to the situation that we face.
I'm curious, too, I guess.
And if we could look at some specific issues that people might be experiencing, I think one of the big ones with social distancing is that a lot of folks who at one point you know, went to an office are now working at home.
They're working at home.
They're sleeping at home, relaxing at home on DSO maybe in talking about that specifically for some of the ways that might impact us.
And then what are some areas that you think you could apply from emotional agility?
Thio To Miss Newman, this new normal, it's so very important.
Point is, I think you know, when I talk about having more space to have these experiences off course, that doesn't mean we're always alone.
We must be as I am.
I've got two young Children who are not home from school, and I'm trying to do my work and I'm trying to look after them and there's a lot that's going on.
But we on spending hours commuting, you know, most most of us, um, we unspent ng hours distracting or avoiding outside of the house.
So we really starting to think about Mama using what I've got in the space in this context right now.
So, you know, one of the things that I think is really profoundly important is when we think about social distancing, I think a better way for us to all be thinking about this.
Originally, the media had used this language of social distancing, but actually, what we thinking about here is physical distancing, physical distancing.
We can still, if we are social creatures, which many of us are.
We still need to be able to look for meaningful quality interactions that are really critically important to us right now.
So we know that we can be lonely in a crowd.
You know, we don't really don't we don't need.
When we think about loneliness, loneliness is not just around by myself there, for I'm lonely.
You could be in a crowd of people and be lordly.
So what is it that we think about when we think about how do you mitigate against the howdy ameliorate loneliness, learning This is actually a function of weather.
Our interactions are meaningful or not against this idea that emotions tell us a story behind our most difficult emotions are sign post to the things that we care about.
If you find yourself feeling learned me as an example.
What is that loneliness?
The sign post off the loneliness is often the sign post that you value presence and connectedness, and that you don't have enough of it.
Now that loneliness is telling you that there's something that you value that you need to be moving more in the direction off.
And so you can start asking yourself what are some small changes that I can bake that are really important to me right now, in this context of loneliness are the people that I'm reaching out to that I may be having spoken to you for a few years.
Is they a way that I, you know, I have this really a remarkable experience Sometimes where I feel like even when we speaking to someone, we speaking beyond the person I'm There's something beautiful that I do in one of my exercises that I've actually done in some Ted workshops before.
Where ask people just to silently look at another person.
There's this beautiful phrase in South Africa, somewhere born, it's a greeting.
Some are born a means I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being and in the workshop.
Sometimes what I do is I'll stop people and I Q.
Them and I say Suburb Warner, and all I'm doing is I'm asking people to look beyond the eyes to look into the soul and the love and the light and the hurt in the person that's in front of you, and I've been doing that with my Children.
You know, they don't necessarily love it.
But instead of doing the quick hug when they at the computer trying to do their learning each day, I'm starting to set of them.
You know, let's just look at each other.
It's just connect with each other.
Let's d the person behind the person.
So I think that their ways that weaken, whether it's an online meeting with our colleagues or burning someone that we care about, or even how we look at a person there is meaning that brings us out of learning us and meaning that brings us out of social isolation in ways that are really profound and beautiful.
I just want to nip in with a couple of questions from the crowd of people who were watching.
So I'm thinking especially, I think some people watching are literally in a situation now where there they have spent days alone and it's a fearful is a fearful time.
Um, and so one question is, what do you mean when you say reach inside of us to find courage?
Had you actually do that?
Well, personally, what we know is the way fear operates.
So when people are feeling fearful or when the situation is ambiguous, as it as it is right now, usually what we try to do and this is literally a cognitive reality for us is that our minds tries to fill in the blanks, though we don't know the answers and we try to fill in the blanks.
So we market testifies.
Or we might, you know, develop huge amounts of anxiety.
Or we go to our Twitter feed in search of the answers.
And often what that does is it actually provokes the very opposite of what we need.
What that provokes is it often provokes Maur anxiety, more fear and more.
You know, we talk about viruses and we talk about physical contagion.
But we also know that people can experience Varian Riel levels off emotional contagion.
Emotional contagion is when you, in subtle ways pick up on the emotions of other people because a cz human beings again, we've evolved to pick up on these cues.
And so I think you know when I'm saying reach inside of yourself when we think about intentionality.
Intentionality is this idea that rather than being mindlessly stucked into our experience, which I have been to, you know, this is this a common, common human experience.
We get sucked into our news feeds.
Instead, we starting to ask ourselves questions off.
Is this helping me?
And is there some alternative way that I could be engaging?
So I've had a lot of people contact me recently, just saying things that you know, I've just taken such joy in creating a little garden for myself.
I have got in a list of books that I really wanted to read, and I haven't.
I've reached Artur friend who I haven't spoken to for years and where we had some silly argument about something and we kind of and remember what that argument waas.
But I now know that whether I'm right or wrong doesn't matter more than a more important question, which is is my action serving me?
Is it serving the person, the loved one, that the human being that I most want to be?
But if we can start reaching its at ourselves and saying you know what are ways that I can If I'm lonely, how can I contribute car?
Can I connect?
What a ways that I can come to my experience, though, that it's intentional and its values connected.
And also if you're feeling lonely and so many of us are also be compassionate with it, this this is tough.
We often live our lives as if we're in a never ending.
I'm n Owen woman competition.
You know where we've gotta have goals and be healthy and be fit and be there.
All these things that we feel we've got to do every single day.
We've got to be the best leaders we've got to be.
I think just, you know, breathing into the experience is really important there other practical things that we can do in relation to this experience as well.
Often we use this language.
We say I am lonely.
I am sad, I am angry and it's a normal default way that we describe how we feeling.
But if we think about the language of that, what we're doing is we are saying I am all of me.
100% of me is this singular experience, I am said.
But what you're starting to do when you use that language is we do it unintentional.
But what we started to do is we starting to define ourselves by our emotion.
We are not our emotions.
We own our emotions.
They don't own and define us.
Um, what we want to do is we want to shut up tie emotions with compassion and curiosity.
But we also don't want to get stuck in our emotions.
The simple strategies that could be really helpful to people is instead of saying, I am said, label your thoughts, your emotions or your feelings for what they are.
They are not backed.
There are thoughts.
There are emotions, their feelings.
So you might say something like, I'm noticing the feeling that I'm sad.
I'm noticing the urge to shut down the conversation with must pass or a noticing the urge to keep going on my social media feed.
Right now, I'm noticing the thought that things are never going to get any better.
What you start doing when you this is ah, mindfulness technique.
But what you're really doing is you are labeling your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings as thoughts, emotions, feelings.
And when you do this, what you start doing is you create that space that I spoke about between stimulus and response no longer you defined were now able to see them for what they are.
And then you can start saying I'm noticing that I'm feeling said, What is that telling me about what I care about?
And how can I bring Maur off the thing into my life?
And it's gonna be different for different people.
You mentioned about contribution and about compassion, I wonder.
Is it the case?
Two things.
First of all, how can people help, like, practically how can they help others when we're all in this isolated world right now?
But secondly, can that can that process itself actually help people that shifting from feeling the pain to actually the sort of the agency and the reaching out and try to do something that that make a difference?
Yes, it's such an important question.
It's this thing off, Tom A.
Bona, I see you.
But in seeing myself, I'm able to see others to this profoundly important way of seeing others and, uh, yes, you know, finding ways that you can contribute.
There are so many people in pain right now.
There are people who are in their houses who haven't spoken to another soul.
Four days.
There are people who need hope with essential groceries, and service is they are shopkeepers who are struggling and so within our community.
Instead of spending our time, you know China gets tucked or trying to stop ourselves, even from being in the vortex, which I think there's so many of us is that experience is really thinking about what a practical ways that we can do it and what is what's what's so true for us as human beings as we often think that in order to make a contribution, we've got to do something huge.
It's got to be grand.
It's gotta be mess of scale.
But you know, if we think about the need to belong, every single one of us needs to belong.
And we know that we can half one other person's pain just by being that person's person today, that much is be a phone call, but if we can reach beyond ourselves, that's healing for others, and it's healing folk for ourselves as well.
And so this is often not about these big things.
It's often about what I call tiny tweaks more.
They're used connected actions that we can take that are committed and even, you know, being at home being physically distant.
This this courage, there's courage in doing that.
I mean, we're doing it because we know that it's the right thing.
But there's also courage in looking inside of ourselves and an earning that you're doing that not only because you have to, but because there is something that is profoundly important that you care about others.
And I think actually, this is also a conversation to be having with Children right now.
You know, I think you know often what happens with our kids, as we say, Well, these are the rules, you know, This is what we've got to do now.
But what are we doing?
We ready tryingto help our Children develop their own sense of values and character.
And so we can start doing this by showing up at our Children's emotions.
How you feeling instead of honor?
You know, say everything's gonna be okay.
Don't worry about it and try brush over.
Our Children are feeling what they're feeling.
If you can shut those feelings with compassion, But then also ask our Children.
Um, you know what a ways that you think you Kenbrell yourself to your friends or to your connections, or how always that you are living right now connected with who you want to be as a person.
These are incredible times or us.
We didn't ask them.
But we are developing our resilience and our character and the character of those around us without adopt.
So your last comment about Children and how you can really have conversations with them about what's going on?
You know, a lot of them may be experiencing some of the same emotions that that we're all experiencing, but maybe with a little more confusion because they have less life experience.
And so how can we talk to Children if you're if their parents out there about what's going on out there and how they could deal with their emotions?
The most important thing we know you know, spoke about instead of saying, I am said, You, noticing that you're feeling said another very, very important part of being effective with my emotions is being granular with our emotions and what I mean when I say being granular is often we use very big labels to describe my emotions, you know, people might say I'm stressed, dressed on stress.
That's the most common one that I hear you know in my work and the work that I'm doing.
An organization's very often people sound stress.
But there's a world of difference between stress and disappointment or stress and overwhelmed or stress and beer.
And what we know psychologically is when we label our emotions in a more granular way, when we move beyond the I am stressed into what is this emotion?
Really?
Then what it does is it helps us who again move into that space of ourselves and it does something really powerful in our brains that starts helping us to understand what is the cause of the emotion and what is the pathway forward.
So we're now moving beyond this.
Are it all feels stress into this is overwhelmed?
I could do something with overwhelming.
I can create pockets of control.
Okay, If mass stress is lonely, I can look for opportunities to reach so emotion.
Granularity is really important when it comes to Children.
The same applies we often as parents with really, really good intentions.
I want to just jump in and say you know the child, says Mommy.
I'm worried, you know?
Don't worry.
It'll be okay.
And again I take that.
Listen off, my father.
You know it's normal to be scared.
What we know for our Children is simply showing up to them, simply seeing them and holding space.
For them to feel what they feel is probably the most important way that Children can develop a sense of security in the context of chaos.
So that's the showing apart.
The second part is again.
We are wanting Children to feel that their emotions don't own them.
When we said a kid, Zack, I don't worry.
Everything will be okay or just be happy.
What are we teaching?
We teaching that some emotions are good and some emotions are bad and that the bad ones should be done away with.
And so when we do that, very often, Children don't get practice with feeling what a difficulty motion feels like and better John.
Then develop the those Wrentham and the capacity, the psychological resource that that bolts the winner Child is feeling what they're feeling.
That's what they're feeling.
If we can show up to that with compassion, that in of itself is probably the most powerful thing then.
Another thing that we can do is we can start helping the child's to label their emotions.
We know the Children as young as two or three years older, able to stop the French heading between angry versus said.
I feel rejected or I feel it's unfair.
Okay, so Children are starting to develop this language.
And when our Children are going through difficulties, we can help them to do that.
Like, is it that you feeling, you know, stressed here?
Or is it that you scared?
Are you lonely?
Are you?
You know, what is it that's going on for you, sir?
Helping our Children to step out of their emotions so that those emotions are data, but they're not directives.
Their data, they're telling us what we need, but they're not calling the shots.
And then we can start helping our Children to say so.
What is it that you need right now?
You know, Julia needs us to organize a Facebook conversation with a friend.
But in the end of the day, all of us, every single person listening, every single person who will be listening every one of us, is doing the best we can with who we are with what we've got and with the resources that we have available to us.
The most important thing that we can do with ourselves and it will then be role modeled to our Children is to be compassionate with yourself and that moves us into the space instead of of judgment and not enough and never enough into the space off being and, um, resilience and grace and dignity.
Some people are asking almost not so much about, you know, fear and depression, but about just just focused.
Like people who've had their academic life, the year has been disrupted.
Um, what can I do to find any focus and to pay attention to?
Yeah.
I mean, life is right now conspiring, conspiring against any kind of focus.
And at the same time, you know, we've almost got all of us as a science society, like a forced amount of forced time off, needing to regard it as ourselves.
And so I think, for every person, first you recognizing what are some of the things that you are doing that are a Nintendo slowly sucking, literally sucking the life out of your day, it might be it might be the constantly checking the numbers.
It might be, you know, going down a rabbit hole of epidemiological studies their different ways that we are just having this conspiring against our intentional resources.
And again, you know, China navigate what's going on with Children and with elderly parents.
There's just so much going on, I think, you know, one of the most important things that we can do is as far as you can try to establish pockets off control.
You know, there's lots that's out of our control.
We don't control almost all of this.
What can we control?
We contro how we respond.
We can control how we connect, and we control how we are to the best of our ability able to segment out time off.
So if for you that means that your control that day is simply making a list of what food is gonna be on the table or whether that control is, um, putting your cell phone in a drawer for an hour every day or whether the control is, you know, shutting something else off.
We were family.
We love music, and we were always dancing around the kitchen and you know we love and you know, that's one way that we bring joy char lives.
But I've actually been finding that there's so much noise in general that for me, the control is actually the control of exerting some kind of silence in the environment wherever it's possible.
I haven't left the house for two weeks, and the first week was absolutely, you know, it was chaotic with all of the stuff going on, and I found for me being able to just think about okay if this lands of being some kind of forced sabbatical that I didn't ask for.
But if that's what it is, what are the three or four things that I need to be doing every day that are going to create some kind of routine?
And what a ways that I can think of other projects that I want to do so re created some kind of routine for my Children and and it's not perfect.
None of this is perfect, but it is what it is.
It's these pockets of control that give us back our sense of agency, and that's really critical.
So so these conversations very high on the muscle.
Oh, Pyramid.
How do we who have the privilege to have these conversations to put those who are out working on the front lines who don't have the luxury of taking time for introspection?
That's executor at every single one of us has very, very different circumstances.
And like, you know, I've been thinking story much about individuals, for instance who might be in situations off domestic abuse or where Children are feeling physically unsafe and we're going to school.
Waas was literally what was paving that child.
And this this is where my heart goes to.
You know, this is where our connecting with others, you know, the things that we can do that can be helpful.
There are prices, text lines that are currently looking for people who are available to be a helpful here to individuals.
There are ways that we can support businesses, you know, is that is there a way that we can buy gift cards too?
But I mean, these are these are very practical and micro suggestions, but I think that they important because there is really suffering.
And this is not just about, you know, how can I move myself into a higher plane of being on dhe compassion and restoration because it's not.
I mean, the reality for many, many, many people is that I don't have food in my house.
And this is why us coming together as community and being values connected and saying How can we help?
What a little big ways that we can help is is under mental.
This this right now is the marker off our ability as humanity to come together and to fight back against this pandemic.
So putting the camera backs isn't it was a psychologist.
Look at this overall situation.
You know people, you can see things going into two ways because the world conducting this massive psychological experiment we've never had done before is some people worry that we are going to drive each other crazy.
We're gonna We're gonna bring out so much fear and anger.
There's already a blame game going on between nations, possibly between different communities, that on something, eyes that gets very dark.
On the other hand, there are thousands and thousands of just amazing stories of help and love and creativity and people.
At which way is this going to go.
Do you think?
Do you think overall we are You know what?
We're going to find a way off this suede ing each other to be our better Selves when we experience what in psychological terms is called mortality, say aliens, mortality salience is this idea that our death becomes it's moved from something that we can conveniently avoided to something that is much more at the periphery.
Even if we are directly infected or directly experiencing something, it's much more salient us.
And we know that when human beings have this mortality salience, we tend to become much more us and them, Um, we tend to become more biased with Syria.
It up there a lot of predictable psychological responses when we experience this.
But we also know that human beings have through time, had a well off wisdom and humanity.
And, you know, what I would just say is, I think that what so often happens is we try to solve the world's problems with our minds.
And of course, we've got the best minds out there working on him.
They should continue working on it, and I think this is a time way.
Actually, me to move away from our minds into our hearts into our grieving are seeing our compassion, our wisdom, our fortitude.
And when I look at the research, when I look at the psychology off generosity and helpers and community and you see that through history that there is this experience of human beings coming together, I believe with all of me that we can.
But it comes through the place of being able to see ourselves and to see the other introducer with compassion.
You know, even the person who might be hoarding toilet paper.
Compassion doesn't mean that you agree that the person is doing, you know, the right or the wrong thing.
It's it's about moving beyond right or wrong.
And it's saying, you know, what is this person experiencing inside of themselves?
That might be driving a particular response?
That is, this openness off the beauty of who we can be as human beings, and I believe that we can and will do that and that that is the sustainable way forward in what is a fragile and beautiful world right now.
There.
Well, well.
Thank you so much for that.
Whitney.
Thank you so much for the conversation there.
And you guys online, uh, feel it feels great to be engaged with you.
So tomorrow I'm gonna be talking with Bill Gates.
Um, needs the interaction.
You know, five years ago, he gave a talk warning about the coming pandemic.
He if you watch that talking Google Bill Gates, Ted, talk pandemic, watch that if you can before tomorrow, it will make your blood run cold.
I mean, he's so much off.
What?
What the world is experiencing now was laid out there.
Absolutely crystal clear, Andi, Clearly, no, not enough was done.
So it's gonna be so fascinating to hear from him.
What happened?
You know why?
I mean, he's a big, powerful men.
Why didn't the world listen more?
And more importantly, what unearthly do now?
How do we scramble to get our health systems operating more effectively?
How do we think about the future?
And then during the rest of weakness, that there's a wonderful line?
Oppa's well on dso check check.
If you check on ted dot com, the full program is on.
There is Toe is coming.
We welcome suggestions for the speakers as well.
Thanks.
Everyone stay well.
Stay strong.
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How to be your best self in times of crisis | Susan David

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林宜悉 2020 年 3 月 26 日 に公開

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