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  • Hey, guys, Guess I I am really, really nervous right now.

  • I don't know how I'm going to do this.

  • Okay?

  • Hold on.

  • I wanted to start a Siris on this channel.

  • That's a little more riel and a little more like, genuinely myself.

  • And I also wanted to try something that would make me uncomfortable.

  • So here we are.

  • I want to connect with people from my past who I haven't seen in a long time for a lot of different reasons.

  • For example, like some family members I haven't seen in a while or even people from high school that hated me.

  • And believe me, I kind of just want to, like, meet up with them and talk and see what happens and film it.

  • Bad idea.

  • But the person that I wanted to do this with the most, um, is the first person that I ever fell in love with.

  • And it didn't end well.

  • And that person is a girl named Claire, even just saying the name makes me want to crash my head into a wall.

  • Not in a bad way.

  • Like I don't hate her.

  • I just I Oh, so deep and dark.

  • Okay, let me start the beginning.

  • So there is this girl, a name, Blair Fowler or on YouTube.

  • She's known as Juicy Star 07 First thing I do is cry my eyes.

  • I'm back with another call from 21.

  • Juicy Star was one of the biggest in first makeup gurus on YouTube.

  • She was doing territorial makeup tutorials, brand deals.

  • There's this new product out on the line that is called Mike Flynn, and it looks like this.

  • And I think I found out about the channel because I clicked on one of her videos where she mentioned me.

  • So first things first.

  • Yes, I am totally in a Shane Dawson TV T shirt, so I was really excited.

  • I thought it was really cool and nice and sweet that she did that.

  • So I think I tweeted her.

  • I don't really remember.

  • And then she had talked about me and other videos like interviews and stuff.

  • Whatever you do worse to enjoy besides me, who comes to your mind, you know, I always see that way.

  • Started talking on direct messages.

  • She came out to L.

  • A.

  • We met up.

  • We hung out like once.

  • It was a lot of fun.

  • And then she went back to where she came from, which was Tennessee.

  • And then we just kept coming back and forth.

  • So she says, Hey, Shane, haven't talked in a while.

  • Just want to make sure you're still doing great.

  • Can't wait to come back to l.

  • A.

  • I said hi.

  • How are you doing?

  • Good law and whatever.

  • Damn.

  • She said, don't be a stranger, Winky Face.

  • I'm just saying.

  • And then we deemed a lot after that.

  • Okay?

  • This is where it starts to get embarrassing.

  • So then she moved to L.

  • A.

  • And I hung out with her, and I thought she was really pretty.

  • I was kind of obsessed with her.

  • Well, we have this night.

  • If you want the full story, read about it in my book.

  • I wrote a whole chapter on it.

  • I have no idea if she's read it or not.

  • I'm gonna have to ask her.

  • I'm scared.

  • So basically what happened was we're sitting in her bed and I was helping her with something on the computer.

  • And then she started, like, making moves on me.

  • I don't know.

  • She put her head on my shoulder she likes stroked my arm.

  • And by the way, this was like a 22 23 year old virgin Shane, who had never been kissed before, had never had a girlfriend, boyfriend?

  • Nothing.

  • I used to be £400 so like no girl had ever even looked at me.

  • And this pretty girl is sitting next to me in her bed like rubbing me so I instantly just like fall in love, like instantly.

  • So then we start hanging out a lot.

  • After that, nothing happened.

  • We didn't kiss, we didn't do anything.

  • So then that night, I ended up sleeping over like we fell asleep in her bed and I woke up the next morning.

  • I was just like, Oh my God, I just slept with a girl.

  • It's so late, But I was really excited.

  • So then we kept hanging out, and I just kept becoming more and more obsessed with her.

  • And I loved her a lot.

  • Now, listen, I know it's on stupid, because clearly we didn't kiss.

  • We didn't do anything.

  • So why would I fall in love with her?

  • But I did.

  • I like genuinely 18 feels we're talking about now.

  • I genuinely loved her so much.

  • I remember Mike picking her up to hang out and just watching her walk out of her door and just like, my heart would start racing.

  • And I would just be like, Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • There she is.

  • I love real over.

  • I love her.

  • I love her and that you get in the car and I'm really sweating like that's how intense it was.

  • It was a lot and took me a long time to get over it.

  • Oh, my God, What am I doing now?

  • I thought she felt the same way for a few different reasons.

  • Number one, She was like touchy feely, a lot laying on me, rubbing me that kind of stuff.

  • But also, she asked me to go to Tennessee with her, where she grew up to meet her family because they wanted to meet me.

  • So of course I was like, Okay, hopped on a plane and went to Tennessee with her, and she wasn't like the type to want to be in videos and stuff.

  • But I did love with her once, and I just want you guys to see a second.

  • The first question is Shane, Who's your favorite?

  • YouTube?

  • You know, like don't like.

  • There's this girl on YouTube Juicy Start.

  • And she does like his makeup tutorials just like her voice and just the way she is, just everything.

  • Keep going, Please expand on that.

  • I know my hair by Just listen.

  • Now that was the peak of like me being alone with her like that was the peak of it.

  • And I can't really explain it because it sounds so stupid because we had never kissed or anything.

  • But just the way she would look at me was like she was in love with me, too.

  • And I was just, like, convinced.

  • Just look at that clip again.

  • And let's just freeze frame it when she looks over and you tell me she doesn't look.

  • But she's looking at the love of her life just the way she is.

  • Everything thing.

  • Yeah, she literally is looking at me like I love you.

  • Or am I making that up?

  • I don't know.

  • In my head, when I see that I still feel something.

  • I'm like, Oh, she loves him.

  • So then we have to talk, and I'm like, so you know, What are we doing?

  • That she's like, what I'm like, What are we?

  • She's like, rather and sister.

  • I mean, it was who Just thinking about it right now.

  • Makes me Well, then, after that happened, I was heartbroken.

  • I really did think that she felt the same way.

  • Looking back, it's all stupid.

  • We didn't kiss, We didn't do any literally.

  • Nothing happened.

  • And I was in love with this girl, like, so in love with her that I would literally marry her like that's how intense it waas.

  • And she was, like, not at all.

  • Anyways, I was heartbroken.

  • I kind of like, stop talking to her for a second.

  • Then she started dating a guy named Sawyer.

  • And so I am here with my boyfriend today.

  • So goes and Sawyer.

  • Then I secretly hated him because he took away the love of my life.

  • I literally cast him in a video so I could hit him over the head with a chair.

  • I'm gonna go get a chair.

  • Yeah.

  • Shut the fuck up.

  • Oh, and then I made an entire music video parody about him called douche bag, and I put him in the video and every time I said Douche bag that cut Thio.

  • Well, then they broke up.

  • Tonight I'm drawing with a very special guest.

  • My ex girlfriend.

  • Hey, guys, it's like Blair Fowler.

  • And then me and Sawyer actually talked about it, and I apologize for being so petty and like whatever.

  • And then we became friends and started making videos together, and it was cool.

  • But I did not talk to Blair really at all after, and it has been years, and I think about her like a lot.

  • I'm not still in love with her anything.

  • It's not like that.

  • It's just like I was so confused and I was so sad and my heart was broken and I was mad at her for a long time.

  • And now, as I'm almost 30 years old, I look back and go.

  • She did.

  • She literally was just how to best friend and probably was like, Oh, my friends in love with me, you know?

  • I mean, like, it wasn't that big to her, but it was a big deal to me.

  • I mean, I literally wrote about it.

  • I got it.

  • Maybe she didn't feel the same way, but she was scared I don't know.

  • We haven't talked about it.

  • Like maybe she felt like something, but she didn't know I was I don't know.

  • Or maybe she really, genuinely did.

  • Just think of me as a brother.

  • I just want to know.

  • So here we are.

  • I direct my sister for the first time in years, and I said, Hey, uh, do you wantto reconnect and can I film it?

  • And she wrote back a very simple like, OK, Weare going to her house.

  • Oh, I was so scared.

  • But I want to do this.

  • I want to talk to her.

  • I love her.

  • Oh, no, not like that.

  • But I genuinely do love like we're best friends.

  • So it's weird that I haven't seen her in years, and I hope that she doesn't hate me.

  • And I wonder if she even knows I'm dating a guy.

  • I know there's a lot that's about that.

  • It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

  • All right, let's see how it goes.

  • So I just parked outside of Blair's place.

  • I am, like, actually really, really scared.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God!

  • Oh, my God.

  • I just texted her.

  • She's coming.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God!

  • Oh, my God!

  • To see her, I see her walking.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Oh, my God.

  • How are you?

Hey, guys, Guess I I am really, really nervous right now.

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A2 初級

EXPOSING MY SECRET RELATIONSHIP (EXPOSING MY SECRET RELATIONSHIP)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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