Name: このIELTSエッセイの全ての文章に誤りがあります。 (Every sentence in this IELTS essay has an error!)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T10:04:56.000Z
Duration: 14 min 25 s
Description: VoiceTubeの動画で発音を聞きながら英語表現を覚えよう！学べる英語：

基礎受動態

in this video, we're going to read through a task to response suggestion, and this is in response to a question that was seen on the 19th of November of last year.

程度の副詞

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If you would like to receive some feedback on your speaking or writing, so the essay that we're going to read through is in response to this question.

It is difficult to experience a country fully as a tourist in a hotel to appreciate and understand a country.

Okay, so it's a pretty typical islets question.

I'm sure everybody that's preparing for the ants has seen some sort of, you know, tourists or travel related questions.

Eso candidates often get confused when they see to what extent that doesn't affect your response at all.

It's just, you know, fancy way of asking me how much do you agree or disagree, and it's absolutely fine to 100% agree or 100% disagree.

So don't feel as though as though this is asking you to take some sort of middle ground in my advice, as always, is to never take the middle ground because that's a much harder essay to write.

You're much more likely to run into grammatical problems or lexical issues.

Okay, so the essay that we're going to see it agrees entirely with this stance and in each and every sentence in the essay, there is one error.

That error could be grammatical or it could be lexical.

Okay, and your task is to identify what the problem is, and I'll pause as we read through the essay to give you a couple of seconds to try to try to figure out what the problem is.

If you can get all 15 of thes questions, correct, please post to the comments below and let's get started.

Okay, so sentence number one reads, people are traveled more today than ever before.

And of course, this should be traveling or I suppose you could say people travelled more today than ever before by removing our but that's what the error was.

However, short term visitor simply do not have the time needed to fully understand the country.

And the error is of course, this should be plural visitors.

So short term visitors simply do not have the time needed to fully understand a country.

I agree that to truly experience and appreciate a country, a person needs to live there for a period longer than that of the typical tourist.

Okay, so we want the comparative Tham because we're comparing the time of a person who lives there with the time of a tourist.

This will be shown by looking at how knowledge of a country's customs and language to cornerstones to understanding any nature, any nation in depth require time to be developed.

Okay, and s o this verb requires with reference to knowledge, which is Cingular's.

This should be requires on and so the structure and here is correct.

You'll see that I've kind of popped in a little extra idea by framing it between commas, right s So that's maybe a stylistic thing you might want to try to incorporate into your own rating.

Okay, The first supporting paragraph for one.

To understand a country's values and beliefs, a person must be exposed to its customs, a process that demands time.

And the issue here is that there should be a comma in here.

Okay, just because our extra little bit here a process and demands time is referring to, um to the the idea of a person being exposed to customs.

So the sentence flows much better when we have a comma, for example, while living in the u.

I had the privilege to attend a local wedding, a traditional camel Aries and a birthday with my Emirati friend.

Um, it was worded something like it was a privilege to attend.

I had the privilege of attending in the cool of the late evening.

At each of these events, guests were served spiced camel meat and medjool dates staple of foods that sustained generations of people in such barren landscape.

And I'll just point out that the error is not module.

It's just my My text dictionary doesn't have this word, but this is correct.

And we don't describe foods as staple of foods.

So staple being an adjective, Um, had I only been visiting the u.

As a tourist, I would not have the time needed to have such insights into Emirati cuisine and lifestyle.

So it should be I would not have had the time needed to have such insights into memory, cuisine and lifestyle.

Thus, living in the country is a necessary precursor to fully experiencing it.

Um, and this is better worded as a country because we're not referring to any, you know, specific country in particular.

And also that the phrasing the country living in the country um, this is kind of cloak, Uli.

The way that you would talk about living outside of the city, perhaps living on a farm in the countryside, at least in you know, the way that I would use it in Canada would be if I said I live in the country, I'd be saying that I don't live in like the downtown core of the city.

And maybe Maurin a countryside sort of environment.

Okay, so it just reads awkwardly when it's in the country.

Language is yet another avenue under which so many understanding can be derived.

So much understanding, sir, so much understanding can be derived.

And this should be language is yet another avenue through.

That's the phrase we wouldn't see Avenue under which avenue Kind of like a road, you know.

And then we were talking about It's sort of a way that understanding can reach us so through would be the correct proposition there.

While living in China, for instance, I managed to pick up the basics of the Chinese language, and this is in the past.

So I managed, Among other things, this allowed me to see the Chinese culture puts extreme emphasizing on face.

And this is a common error that candidates have.

Uh, sometimes, you know, you're not sure.

Should I be changing this into a Jared or, you know, what is that now?

This allowed me to see that Chinese culture puts extreme emphasis on face.

For instance, in China, it is the custom to refuse a gift several times before to accept.

And this would be before accepting, so I could only make this fundamental observation After committing timeto learning the language, it is clear that a country really does need to be lived in to be fully appreciated.

And I know some people are gonna think that the problem is this comma in here.

But, um, stylistically, you don't want to start your sentences with, so So that's the first thing.

So when you identify that, then we have to change this to something.

And if we change it to, as than this entire first part becomes a dependent clause and then it makes more sense with the comma.

So as I could only make this fundamental observation after committing timeto learning the language, it is clear that a country really does need to be lived in to be fully appreciated to conclude.

Although tourists receive a basic introduction to a region and its peoples, thorough understanding of a country is best achieved by one commits to living there And, uh, the answer here is when when one commits to living there and I'm sure that some people thought that people's with the error, because why would you stick and s on the end of a now That's already plural people.

But this is actually correct way to talk about several groups or groupings of people.

So, um, you know, within one country that people might not all be the same people that might be, You know, people with different customs, different backgrounds may be from different races so that we would refer to these collectively as people's.

So you can kind of have one more read through the essay and see the way the senses sort of work together.

Um, so people are traveling more today than ever before.

However, short term visitors simply do not have the time needed to fully understand a country.

This will be shown by looking at how knowledge of a country's customs and language to cornerstones to understanding any nation and depth requires time to be developed for one.