for Hilah Cooking's Annual Spooky Halloween video.

This one's not gonna be so spooky.

I couldn't figure out how to puppeteer a monster

to pop-up out of my casserole dish here.

- Dinner!

(scary music) (screaming)

- But this video is a tribute to my, possibly my only hero.

I was gonna say my first hero,

but honestly, maybe my only hero.

And that is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.

- Hello darlings, it's me again, yours truly, Elvira.

The gal with the enormous ratings. (laughs)

Well that's our show.

- As played by Cassandra Peterson.

And such an influential movie for me.

I mean, she's a badass but she's also really nice.

Well, maybe not really nice.

But she's not, like a dick.

She's just a badass, cool chick.

And she has her boobs out a lot.

She's the reason I say "dudes."

She's the reason I talk about my boobs so much

in private, to myself.

And she is the reason for this video,

which is Elvira's Adraka Kozerole.

So if you've seen the movie,

I hope you're ready to eat some worms.

We're not really gonna eat worms.

What am I a psychopath?

(upbeat music)

So, if you haven't seen the movie, the story is

Elvira inherits her aunt's house.

But her aunt, unbeknownst to her, is actually a witch.

And she has this guy over and she's trying to impress him.

But she doesn't cook because, look at her.

She doesn't need to know how to cook, people.

And she pulls out the aunt's recipe book,

which is actually a spell book.

And then she finds a bunch of gross ingredients

in the cabinet.

And I don't wanna spoil it, I'll just start.

Okay, so the first ingredient is Edrazeba.

- Edrazeba?

Wonder where she keeps Edrazeba around here.

(exciting music)

Here it is, Edrazeba.

(exciting music)

One Edrazeba.

(exciting music)

- So I was gonna use some worms from the garden

and just like, I don't wanna eat worms,

nobody wants to eat worms.

So I went to Italy instead. (laughs)

Option number two is go to Italy.

And I found the wormiest-looking pasta I could find.

It's like a fat spaghetti.

It's like real bouncy.

If I was a smarter person,

I would've gotten, like a whole-wheat.

Totally looks wormy.

Like a whole-wheat pasta that's more of a worm color.

But, never said I was a genius.

But these are really fun and bouncy, I like them.

And then the next ingredient

in the recipe book is Phalangra.

Which, I mean nobody knows what these are.

Unless, well I have a wig-hair stuck in my lipstick, sorry.

I was thinking, I wonder if these words are actually,

like Edrazeba, is that worms in another language?

I don't know, if you know the answer, tell me about it.

So Phalangra, which in the movie, roll clip.

- Phalangra.

(exciting music)

(groans) Looks like Phalangra went bad.

I know it says it's good 'til June of next year.

What the heck, I got cast-iron stomach.

- It looks like spinach dip.

So that's what I'm basing this on.

So spinach dip, as we all know, is

pus, just kidding.

Or if you don't have that, you can use monster cum.

I'm just kidding, it's sour cream.

God, no one's gonna finish this video

'cause they're all gonna just be barfing.

Sorry, it's Halloween, gets me in a gross spirit.

So I got some sour cream here.

And I'm gonna put that in.

And then I have some spinach,

'cause you gotta eat your vegetables.

♪ Gotta eat your spinach, baby ♪

And this is just frozen spinach that I thawed

and squeezed all the vitamins out of. (laughs)

No, but I squeezed all the extra liquid out of.

So I'm gonna get that kind of mixed up a little bit.

This is very strange to me to be doing a cooking video

after a year of not doing a cooking video.

(food rustling)

Listen.

(food rustling)

♪ The sound of paradise ♪

Okay, so that's the Edrazeba and the Phalangra.

And then the next ingredient is Goolitra.

Which, again, we don't know what that is.

It kinda looks like some kind of weird, green hot sauce.

- And let's see, two to three Goolitra.

Goolitra, la, la, la.

- I'm gonna use some pickled jalapenos.

'Cause I like it spicy.

Put those in.

And then I also, I feel like a little bit

of fresh jalapenos would be nice, too.

So I'm just gonna like, use a super-dull knife. (laughs)

What if I really cut my finger off, oh my God.

And chop up some jala-penis.

A little bit more, like that.

And obviously, you know, you can leave this out.

But you know I like it spicy.

And dump that in.

But honestly, this feels very strange.

I'm gonna stir that around some more.

And I like to use, well now, I don't know.

I've never actually made this before.

I'm totally making this up.

But I imagine that I will like to use pickled jalapenos

for a little bit of the tang

and then fresh jalapenos for a little bit of verdant flavor.

Is that the correct usage of that word?

Okay, I'm gonna add some salt.

'Cause, dur, doy.

Maybe a little bit more.

And then I'm gonna add some garlic powder,

'cause I really don't think

that Elvira would be chopping up any fresh garlic.

And also I don't really think you need to for this.

Seems like a good amount, seems like a goodly amount.

And then the, whoa, this wig-hair's driving me bananas.

I'm gonna add some grated Parmesan.

And then, if it seems a little dry.

And this kinda does, 'cause I did cook the pasta like,

maybe like two minutes before it was actually done.

'Cause I'm gonna stick it in the oven

and I don't want it to get all soggy.

I want it to retain its firm and bouncy worm-like texture.

So I'm gonna add a little bit of liquid in the form of pee.

So if your pee looks like this, do to a doctor.

This is actually pasta cooking liquid,

which I remembered to save.

I rarely do, I actually remembered that.

But I was paying extra attention today

as I was preparing this meal for you, my friends.

Okay, and then the last ingredient is Quoterox.

- One Quoterox.

- Nobody knows what that is.

You don't actually see her put that in

in the movie.

So I'm using some artichoke hearts.

Because they're delicious, they go great with spinach dip.

As in spinach artichoke dip, heard of it?

But also, they kinda look gross, right?

They're like not a very pretty color.

They're sort of like khaki-color.

Khaki, (groans) that's a terrible color.

And we're gonna mix this up.

And these were just frozen ones that I thawed

through the magic of lettin' them sit on the counter

for a few hours.

Okay, so this looks like,

pretty yummy, actually.

I think it's mixed up.

I don't know why I'm using this, like baby spatula.

Anyway, I'm gonna smooth this out.

I'm gonna add a little bit more of my pee-pee pasta.

(hums)

Okay, smooth it out.

And then don't worry about decorating the top

because I have a special surprise for you later

to decorate the top with.