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  • - Hey dudes, I'm Hilah and it's time

  • for Hilah Cooking's Annual Spooky Halloween video.

  • This one's not gonna be so spooky.

  • I couldn't figure out how to puppeteer a monster

  • to pop-up out of my casserole dish here.

  • - Dinner!

  • (scary music) (screaming)

  • - But this video is a tribute to my, possibly my only hero.

  • I was gonna say my first hero,

  • but honestly, maybe my only hero.

  • And that is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.

  • - Hello darlings, it's me again, yours truly, Elvira.

  • The gal with the enormous ratings. (laughs)

  • Well that's our show.

  • - As played by Cassandra Peterson.

  • And such an influential movie for me.

  • I mean, she's a badass but she's also really nice.

  • Well, maybe not really nice.

  • But she's not, like a dick.

  • She's just a badass, cool chick.

  • And she has her boobs out a lot.

  • She's the reason I say "dudes."

  • She's the reason I talk about my boobs so much

  • in private, to myself.

  • And she is the reason for this video,

  • which is Elvira's Adraka Kozerole.

  • So if you've seen the movie,

  • I hope you're ready to eat some worms.

  • We're not really gonna eat worms.

  • What am I a psychopath?

  • (upbeat music)

  • So, if you haven't seen the movie, the story is

  • Elvira inherits her aunt's house.

  • But her aunt, unbeknownst to her, is actually a witch.

  • And she has this guy over and she's trying to impress him.

  • But she doesn't cook because, look at her.

  • She doesn't need to know how to cook, people.

  • And she pulls out the aunt's recipe book,

  • which is actually a spell book.

  • And then she finds a bunch of gross ingredients

  • in the cabinet.

  • And I don't wanna spoil it, I'll just start.

  • Okay, so the first ingredient is Edrazeba.

  • - Edrazeba?

  • Wonder where she keeps Edrazeba around here.

  • (exciting music)

  • Here it is, Edrazeba.

  • (exciting music)

  • One Edrazeba.

  • (exciting music)

  • - So I was gonna use some worms from the garden

  • and just like, I don't wanna eat worms,

  • nobody wants to eat worms.

  • So I went to Italy instead. (laughs)

  • Option number two is go to Italy.

  • And I found the wormiest-looking pasta I could find.

  • It's like a fat spaghetti.

  • It's like real bouncy.

  • If I was a smarter person,

  • I would've gotten, like a whole-wheat.

  • Totally looks wormy.

  • Like a whole-wheat pasta that's more of a worm color.

  • But, never said I was a genius.

  • But these are really fun and bouncy, I like them.

  • And then the next ingredient

  • in the recipe book is Phalangra.

  • Which, I mean nobody knows what these are.

  • Unless, well I have a wig-hair stuck in my lipstick, sorry.

  • I was thinking, I wonder if these words are actually,

  • like Edrazeba, is that worms in another language?

  • I don't know, if you know the answer, tell me about it.

  • So Phalangra, which in the movie, roll clip.

  • - Phalangra.

  • (exciting music)

  • (groans) Looks like Phalangra went bad.

  • I know it says it's good 'til June of next year.

  • What the heck, I got cast-iron stomach.

  • - It looks like spinach dip.

  • So that's what I'm basing this on.

  • So spinach dip, as we all know, is

  • pus, just kidding.

  • Or if you don't have that, you can use monster cum.

  • I'm just kidding, it's sour cream.

  • God, no one's gonna finish this video

  • 'cause they're all gonna just be barfing.

  • Sorry, it's Halloween, gets me in a gross spirit.

  • So I got some sour cream here.

  • And I'm gonna put that in.

  • And then I have some spinach,

  • 'cause you gotta eat your vegetables.

  • Gotta eat your spinach, baby

  • And this is just frozen spinach that I thawed

  • and squeezed all the vitamins out of. (laughs)

  • No, but I squeezed all the extra liquid out of.

  • So I'm gonna get that kind of mixed up a little bit.

  • This is very strange to me to be doing a cooking video

  • after a year of not doing a cooking video.

  • (food rustling)

  • Listen.

  • (food rustling)

  • The sound of paradise

  • Okay, so that's the Edrazeba and the Phalangra.

  • And then the next ingredient is Goolitra.

  • Which, again, we don't know what that is.

  • It kinda looks like some kind of weird, green hot sauce.

  • - And let's see, two to three Goolitra.

  • Goolitra, la, la, la.

  • - I'm gonna use some pickled jalapenos.

  • 'Cause I like it spicy.

  • Put those in.

  • And then I also, I feel like a little bit

  • of fresh jalapenos would be nice, too.

  • So I'm just gonna like, use a super-dull knife. (laughs)

  • What if I really cut my finger off, oh my God.

  • And chop up some jala-penis.

  • A little bit more, like that.

  • And obviously, you know, you can leave this out.

  • But you know I like it spicy.

  • And dump that in.

  • But honestly, this feels very strange.

  • I'm gonna stir that around some more.

  • And I like to use, well now, I don't know.

  • I've never actually made this before.

  • I'm totally making this up.

  • But I imagine that I will like to use pickled jalapenos

  • for a little bit of the tang

  • and then fresh jalapenos for a little bit of verdant flavor.

  • Is that the correct usage of that word?

  • Okay, I'm gonna add some salt.

  • 'Cause, dur, doy.

  • Maybe a little bit more.

  • And then I'm gonna add some garlic powder,

  • 'cause I really don't think

  • that Elvira would be chopping up any fresh garlic.

  • And also I don't really think you need to for this.

  • Seems like a good amount, seems like a goodly amount.

  • And then the, whoa, this wig-hair's driving me bananas.

  • I'm gonna add some grated Parmesan.

  • And then, if it seems a little dry.

  • And this kinda does, 'cause I did cook the pasta like,

  • maybe like two minutes before it was actually done.

  • 'Cause I'm gonna stick it in the oven

  • and I don't want it to get all soggy.

  • I want it to retain its firm and bouncy worm-like texture.

  • So I'm gonna add a little bit of liquid in the form of pee.

  • So if your pee looks like this, do to a doctor.

  • This is actually pasta cooking liquid,

  • which I remembered to save.

  • I rarely do, I actually remembered that.

  • But I was paying extra attention today

  • as I was preparing this meal for you, my friends.

  • Okay, and then the last ingredient is Quoterox.

  • - One Quoterox.

  • - Nobody knows what that is.

  • You don't actually see her put that in

  • in the movie.

  • So I'm using some artichoke hearts.

  • Because they're delicious, they go great with spinach dip.

  • As in spinach artichoke dip, heard of it?

  • But also, they kinda look gross, right?

  • They're like not a very pretty color.

  • They're sort of like khaki-color.

  • Khaki, (groans) that's a terrible color.

  • And we're gonna mix this up.

  • And these were just frozen ones that I thawed

  • through the magic of lettin' them sit on the counter

  • for a few hours.

  • Okay, so this looks like,

  • pretty yummy, actually.

  • I think it's mixed up.

  • I don't know why I'm using this, like baby spatula.

  • Anyway, I'm gonna smooth this out.

  • I'm gonna add a little bit more of my pee-pee pasta.

  • (hums)

  • Okay, smooth it out.

  • And then don't worry about decorating the top

  • because I have a special surprise for you later

  • to decorate the top with.