You are hereby sentenced to be publicly canceled

by having thy head smoked —

This will be a good one.

Yea, love a good canceling!

She’s been canceled, yeah?

Shh!

Shut out, on the bog pile of shame

for the crime of saying something offensive

11 years ago!

[cheers]

11 years ago! Let’s judge past statements

by present-day perspective.

It's like saying the same thing today, kinda!

Don’t I get a trial?

No!

This is a canceling.

No due process.

We are the jury!

Our anger makes us qualified.

Plus, we’re all perfect. Yea,

we’re all perfect! You may be granted a

reprieve if you apologize.

Of course, I apologize.

I’m sorry that you were offended. Sorry

that we’re offended?

That's a non-apology.

That’s worse than saying nothing.

Well, if apologizing makes it worse,

what’s the point of apologizing at all?

She hates apologizing! Cancel her even more.

Cancel her!

Fare thee well,

and may you never again utter the phrase,

“[Expletive] the peasants!”

[gasps]

He just said something bad about peasants.

I‘m a peasant,

and I'm offended.

No, I said, uh,

she said, “[Expletive] the peasants!”

Oh my god!

He said it again.

No, I love peasants.

I would never say “[Expletive] — ”

Cancel him! [chanting]

I apologize, unreservedly.

That’s not a good enough apology.

I thought it was all right. An apology apologist!

He’s for apologies.

Get him.

Oh hang on hang on.

I’m confused.

Are we against him, for being for apologies?

Or against her, for being against apologies? Because —

That's irrelevant.

What matters is that you're angry.

Cancel him! [chanting]

But we’re supposed to be canceling her!

Well, that was whole minutes ago.

Who knows?

Things we say today might be offensive in the future.

She’s right, you might have offended me in the future.

Well, you might be offending me in the future right now.

Pre-cancel! Pre-cancel! It's a pre-canceling!

I hereby increase your taxes by 150 percent.

No? Well, I'm going to burn your crops too.

I’ll just get on with it then, shall I?

Could I come along? Yes, yes please.

Age before beauty!