Everything's hot, man.

How you doing, Theo?

I'm good.

Hey, what's going on?

Everybody.

First we feast on Shaun Evans and you're watching hot ones.

It's the show with hard questions and even hotter wings.

And today we're joined by Theo von You didn't catch him on the dark arts tour.

Coming to a city near you is special.

No offenses on Netflix now.

And he has a podcast this past weekend which is available on Apple Spotify, YouTube and wherever else you get your pods.

Theo von.

Welcome to the show.

Thank you for having me here.

I'm happy to be here with you in the ER and this poultry daddy.

And I know that you're a Louisiana boy.

Do you practice the dark art of eating spicy food or No, actually got a pepper stuck in my ear when I was young, and, uh, you know, there's a lot off.

There's a lot of ways people naturally take peppers into the body, right?

Right.

When you take it through that, you know past that Loeb over that frickin low baby, that's that's, um, absorbing tissue.

You know, you never really hear the same And you always hear fire trucks after that.

Your people crying.

You hear the double walk?

You know, once you've had that burn inside of you.

Okay, It's already on there.

It's already on there.

Oh, wow.

I thought they put it on there.

Oh, this is cool is behind the scenes.

So you've described your childhood in Covington, Louisiana, as white trash.

And it's clear from watching your stand up that it has a big influence in your comedy.

What's the story behind having to track down infected monkeys when there was an escape at a primate research facility in your hometown?

Yeah.

1994 70 infected monkeys got out and they the cops came and got us.

Got the tallest kids.

Help him find him.

So I was out there, you know, fucking wrangling.

Chips when you look at him in the idea outside of a Wendy's off a fucking highway 1 90 brother, they don't look at you like you guys have ever met.

How'd you capture him?

Did you use like, fruit traps or something?

Or just your bare hands?

A lot of nerve, huh?

Damn you looking for fucking death?

You'll die if you go near a jump in your hands out like this.

So we knew we'd little pieces.

Shaun Evans on here.

Does Covington acknowledge the fact that it's the birthplace of Lee Harvey Oswald?

A.

Is that a fun fact that try to keep to themselves?

I think it's kind of low key.

I mean, I know he used to live in our street.

It's not.

There's not a lot of relics or anything like that.

You know, we actually have stalled the tallest statue of Ronald Reagan.

So Big Ronnie, if you like them, you know something you can hang your hat on.

Are you ready to move on, Theo?

Yeah.

Got a ladder?

You can.

I'm ready.

Oh, wow, boy.

So one of your more ridiculous free time hobbies is crank texting random numbers and sometimes having these months long conversations with total strangers.

Have you ever developed romantic feelings for somebody that your crank texting or vice versa?

Vice versa?

I think they did.

I don't know if they did, because I couldn't see him, but I believe that they did do the funnest thing, though I would text like nine numbers in a group of random numbers and I would be like Like Randall just won first place, brought up, just found a picture of just Google like Asian boy with trophy and find like a random bits of like, an Asian kid with the trophy.

And I sent it to everybody, And people would be, like, good for him.

And then somebody like this, Who the fuck is Randall and somebody else, like, Take me off of this, Jane, You know, you know, like, y'all fuck y'all, y'all weren't there.

Do you guys to support this kid?

So you have all these people like it?

Are you about this fictional Viet with this trophy?

You know, beautiful.

That's my America, really, you know, but thanks for asking about it, but yeah, I mean, it was you know, I quit doing it, because now the laws are a little bit different.

I think now it's more risque.

And there were some times, maybe that I'm not, like, super proud of, but anyway, I don't know what I'm just ran, but I'm kind of nervous.

I guess you are.

Yeah.

The Spicer's at me.

It's this cream colored hoody, right?

Christa?

Leah Flashbacks.

Right here.

Does he dress you.

You know what?

Me and Chris ran into each other at Equinox yesterday.

We had a nice chat that you did, and he straight up fucking Voldemort of that shirt on to you.

That guy you know, his his dogs on his instagram they're not even really is.

A lady brings him over and these pictures and takes him home.

Damn.

Let's break in.

News.

Roommate is crazy, bro.

You just got exposed.

Look good.

Somebody has to, man.

Somebody has to take that tall fella down and, you know, used to manage a macaroni grill, and he didn't talk about that.

Really?

Yeah, I made that up.

Is the clothes has ever been like on a date with a man?

It's good.

So being from New Orleans and know that you're a huge ST Span, and I don't mean to dig up any old wounds, but is it true that you had an ex girlfriend cheat on you with one of the offensive lineman damn boy either?

Good.

Yes, I did.

At least one of them, you know, she's prolific woman.

Uh, damn.

One time she took me to a game, he got that he'd given her the tickets, and she took me to the game.

We're sitting in this seat, and I was just sitting there cheering for me.

I don't even know.

Do you think that it was just a bad call that kept the Saints out of the Super Bowl this year?

Do you think it's possible that there is something more sinister at play?

I still blend the play calling.

You know, Sean Payton wants to be cute all the time.

Do you have a favorite Manning brother?

What about the one with short arms?

Cooper?

Who's that one?

With the short, it's gotta be hoovered up.

He's fucking throwing mortgages to people, bro.

I went to a party one time when Eli was in college and I went to a party at his apartment and he wore a cowboy hat, and I thought it was the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life.

Dude, do it, huh?

We haven't even had to touch this milk, huh?

What's your beef with Denny's, bro?

You lose?

You nice a joke?

That Whoa.

Something called me.

Mmm.

Him bruh gets really like some of this fucking broken the back door.

You know, like I should have left that key under the pot.

Brought something fucking caught me head on a swivel.

Yeah, um, it just started to get to the point where it was like I just felt like a victim every time I left there.

And I didn't feel good about myself when I would leave Denny's.

It doesn't even taste like food.

It's like you're just programmed to go in there.

People are always fistfight.

If it were anything else, they'd shut it down.

If you noticed this trend of fast food chains putting together comedy Twitter accounts, Yeah.

Do you have a take on that?

You have the arbiters.

One is the best luck with the Arby's one.

I love to see that big hat bucking, fistfight grimaced, Brooke, I say these people should get out on the street.

You know, I say, Take it from the tweet to the streets, son.

You know, I love to see that big Arby's hat.

Fucking this pipe.

A couple of them fry guys.

One of the little fella's name's are, you know, the Wendy's chick on the top rope the elbow just comes into just an angry redhead just fucking flying.

And then Carl's Jr gets in there, Whatever he is, you know, doing so far, Theo, I feel like very good.

Yeah, I feel good too, man.

I was so scared.

Really.

Oh, dude, I was so scared, man.

And I felt bad.

My mom's putting her husband in the hospice days like 90 something.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Me too.

Sorry.

Should have said that.

But I'm trying to tell her about this Hot Wings.

About Theo.

It was so selfish.

Problem like mama can fuck.

Like he's got 48 hours.

So you're like, I know, I know.

But I know you like I'm not to kill these chicken wings.

Yeah, I'm looking very nervous about eating these look and condiments, but so far so good.

Yeah.

So far, so good.

I feel we every kind segment on our show called Explain that, Graham.

We do a deep dive under guests and store ample, interesting pictures that need more contacts.

I'll bust out the laptop.

I'll show you the picture.

You just tell me the bigger story.

Does that sound good?

Yeah.

Alright.

Laptop, please.

All right, Theo, what was your biggest challenge and climbing Mount Kilimanjaro?

Probably doing duties outdoors at that altitude.

You know, I'm used to operate my ass and basically sea level when you know below sea level, even from Louisiana.

But you gotta hold it from fucking vulture inside of you.

That altitude, it is different, huh?

Yeah, it is.

And you almost have a have a buddy.

You could have, like, a little like a shit shaman.

Yeah, Ugo.

But I recommend Kilimanjaro anybody, because it's not that hard to do.

And it could be a nice time to spend with other people.

Where do you have a better time at the run Fair or Field of Dreams?

House.

Wow.

You guys have good questions.

Did I forgot about my own life?

Do the ren faire is really a front for people doing drugs.

It's like a drug sex orgy over that.

The run fair.

It's kind of out of control.

Yeah, you have a lot of people that you can tell they've been up all night doing sex or sweat, and some of if you really listen, you can hear him fighting about his regular shit.

You know, Owen each other money for grams and all of this shit, and it's like I pick up on that stuff, You know, the subtleties going on.

You know, I'm like, you see these two dudes fighting with wooden swords and one of those fucking really in it.

You know, one of us fighting is trying to fight his way back and 1/2 of an eight ball.

The people that go there, you see a lot of big tits tied up, you know, which I like singing.

Um, but that field of dreams you've never been there.

Dyersville, Iowa.

Man, you're just driving along, and it's definitely worth driving off the interstate.

I feel bad, man.

It's like I'm doing all the talking, you know?

But that's how it goes.

You know that guy?

Do you feel do you feel like when you're hosting a guest?

Like what responsibility do you think you have?

Um, that's a good question.

You know, I just want to keep the conversation just honestly, just as comfortable as I can.

These days, I feel like people like that.

What do you think is different about when you're a guest versus when you're hosting?

Like sometimes I go on other shows and I feel this ridiculous anxiety because I feel like I have todo the whole tent up, right?

You know, And that actually makes you kind of annoying guests.

Yeah.

You know, when you're should just kind of just sit there and they'll put a ball on a tee for you and you just smack it and then you just load up and smack another ball.

But I I always feel like, you know, I'm taking over, like, encroaching responsibility.

And then you might feel bad, even if you do sometimes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is it is uncomfortable.