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  • We're in a great mood tonight cause we recently got recognized in Tulsa.

  • Fantastic.

  • Amazing.

  • Walking down the street car sees this guy drives out right Next.

  • Was rolls down his window.

  • Looks to the two of us is like, get out of here.

  • Jews, You know, it just feels good to be recognized for your work is what we're trying to say.

  • We were like, thank you so much.

  • He was, like, see later were like, Whoa, you, sir, could never do a straight arm way.

  • No, not with that haircut.

  • No, no, no, no, no.

  • So we're both dads.

  • We each have two kids.

  • Yeah, that's too many kids.

  • Good thing about having two kids is that if anybody has less than you and they complain about anything in their lives and you're around to hear it, you're allowed to walk over to him.

  • Yes, and rip them a new asshole.

  • That feels really good fun.

  • It's cathartic.

  • Our friend comedian was on stage.

  • He did a 15 minutes said about how his 1 17 month old kid was ruining his life, how hard it was to raise 17 how difficult his life had become.

  • Now, Jan are the most supportive comedians ever committed to tell you they come on stage always like I love that it's a great job was attacked.

  • I just wrote a tag in his time Tagging jokes Don't even MAKE It Drags the tagging Porta.

  • Here's the headline.

  • Keep doing comedy.

  • That's what we tell everybody.

  • This guy got off stage after doing a 15 minutes at about how his 1 17 month old kid was ruining his life.

  • Jan are backstage.

  • Were like, Dude, you gotta stop!

  • Get out, Get out of comedy 1 17 month old kid.

  • You're a parent like an optometrist Is a doctor barely barely a pair.

  • You're a doctor Like Dr Dre is a doctor.

  • Barely.

  • I don't even know if he practices all gynecology.

  • Dr.

  • Dre has a small gynecology.

  • Where?

  • City of calm.

  • City of Compton.

  • 1 17 month old kid.

  • Okay, if you don't know what a 17 month old kid is will explain it to you, right?

  • It's a dog that occasionally talks.

  • That's all A 17 month of it.

  • Magical dog is too much.

  • You can't handle that.

  • Then I love are friends that just have pets.

  • It can't handle that the pet is too overwhelming.

  • You're like, Hey, man, we're getting a drink after the show.

  • You want to come with us now?

  • I got to get home and that, uh, it's my baby boy, baby, it's like race, like raising a kid.

  • It's exactly like raising a child.

  • We're like, Is it because if you can tie it up while you go have brunch, it's not a kid, Okay?

  • If you can pay good money to watch it fight another one to the death, it is okay if it runs away in two weeks later like let's just get another one and call it if you can openly masturbate in front of it.

  • It is not okay if it turns 15 and you're thinking about putting it to sleep.

  • That actually is a kid that is a horrible teenager.

  • We will not stop playing fortnight.

  • As I said, I have two daughters, 12 and 14.

  • Those of their names, Yes, feud, stranger things.

  • Fan.

  • I was a decade ahead.

  • You're ahead of the curve on that 1 14 She's in high school, and so before she went to high school this year, we cleaned out her bookshelves of all the books.

  • We used to read her when she was a little kid, and what I realized is the books we read our kids, when they're really little, are terrible.

  • But you don't care because you're just using the thing to put your kid to sleep, which is what a parent does of little kids all day long.

  • You're just trying to put your kids to slit her down, Get her down, put her down, put her down like she's a horse with a broken leg.

  • Put it out.

  • She just woke up 20 minutes ago, but her dad there was a whole shelf of fairy tales.

  • Now I don't read affair until recently, but those are wildly inappropriate stories for kids.

  • Oh yeah, they're crazy story crazy fairy tales read like police blotters in the state of Florida.

  • Yes, if you were to put the phrase of Florida man or a Florida woman in front of the plot of a fairy tale totally works.

  • It does.

  • Florida woman breaks into a house, eats their food, breaks a chair and then it's found passed out in the kid's bed.

  • That's Goldilocks meth and Tampa Bay.

  • Okay, Florida man kisses a dead woman than tries to marry her.

  • What is that?

  • That sounds like ecstasy.

  • In Orlando, Florida, woman lures to Children to her house, using bread crumbs with hopes of eating their faces off.

  • That is bath salts.

  • And Pensacola, Florida woman gets a D u I for trying to drive a pumpkin that's everywhere Florida every weekend.

  • Although it is kind of fun to think of Cinderella as a Florida woman and to imagine her getting pulled over by the cops at 12.

  • 10 in the morning that fateful night.

  • Ma'am, Ma'am, we're gonna need you to get down from the down off the pumpkin.

  • Man, you got to get off the pumpkin.

  • She's like these masks were horses 10 minutes ago.

  • Sure they were.

  • They were, man.

  • Where's your left shoe?

  • Where's your other stripper shoe?

  • May?

  • Where's the glass slipper?

  • Where is it?

  • Oh, it's at the palace with the prince.

  • Oh, yeah, the only prints in your future, man.

We're in a great mood tonight cause we recently got recognized in Tulsa.

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A2 初級

スクレア兄弟犬を育てることは子供を育てるようなものではありません - TBSのコナン (The Sklar Brothers: Raising A Dog Is Not Like Raising A Child - CONAN on TBS)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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