Um, the person who's running against Donald Trump.

(audience laughs)

(audience applauds)

I mean...

I mean, if I was voting for jokes,

I would vote for Donald Trump,

(audience laughs)

but I'm tired of him now.

It's like, I thought Donald Trump

was gonna be like crazy a little bit

and then we'd get to talk about other things in the world

and he just, he doesn't want to not be the story.

That's what frustrates me about him.

Do you know what I mean?

So, like, you go like, man, just be a little bit crazy

and go away, then be a little bit crazy,

then go away, you know what I'm saying?

It's like a show,

imagine if "Game of Thrones" was daily.

You'd be like, I'm tired of these dragons.

(audience laughs)

Dragons once a week, wow.

Dragons every day, you're like wha.

He doesn't understand that like, you know, it's too much.

It's just too much.

I'm tired.

No, 'cause like, even now,

you have the rallies and you have the caucuses

and you have the primaries taking place.

Who was in Iowa for no reason?

Donald Trump.

Do you get what I'm saying?

New Hampshire is gonna be tomorrow.

Who's holding a rally in New Hampshire

at the exact same time?

He just cannot stand to not be the news.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, if Donald Trump was like at somebody's bridal shower,

he'd just be like, "I'm also pregnant."

(audience laughs)

(audience applauds)

You'd be like, no.

You'd be like, you're not pregnant.

"I am totally pregnant, totally pregnant.

"I'm happy that you're getting married

"but I'm pregnant and I'm marrying my baby.

(audience laughs)

"Twice the announcements."

You're like, no, what are you doing, man?

It just has to be about him, so yeah.

And I hope, that's the thing where I do think

Republicans have a more, what's the word I'm looking for?

It's not even realistic

but they have a more cut-throat way

of thinking about an election.

I understand that many Democratic voters

can get to the point where because it's a binary system,

you're like I don't like one, I don't like the other.

I hate the other, I don't like one.

I'm not gonna vote.

But, Republicans, last time, what did they say?

I'm gonna hold my nose and vote for Trump.

They were like, this man is,

many Republicans were like, he's despicable,

he's crude, he doesn't represent us.

I'm here for the fiscal numbers

and the this and the that.

And they're like, but I can't get anywhere else.

I'll vote for him, hold my nose.

And a lot of Democrats are like, no, I'm not voting at all.

And then it's like, what people don't seem to realize is

then you get all of nothing,

as opposed to some of something.

Do you get what I'm saying?

It's not romantic.

(audience applauds)

(upbeat music)