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  • Question time.

  • This is where senators say the same thing

  • they've been saying for weeks,

  • but this time, in the form of a question.

  • For this entire impeachment trial,

  • senators have been in a listen-only mode.

  • Well, today, they will get to weigh in

  • through written questions.

  • Senators have to write their questions down on these cards.

  • Take a look at this. Six lines each.

  • Ultimately, these cards get submitted

  • to Chief Justice John Roberts,

  • who will read them out loud to the House managers,

  • and also to the president's defense team.

  • This is a process that will last 16 hours over two days.

  • Damn. 16 hours of questions.

  • That sounds like every road trip I take with my little nephew.

  • He's like, "But why are there colors?"

  • "I don't know. 'Cause someone invented them."

  • "Who invented them?"

  • "I did, okay? I invented the colors.

  • And I'll take them away if you don't shut up."

  • That's right. I'm a horrible babysitter. That's right.

  • For this stage of the impeachment trial,

  • senators get to ask questions to the lawyers.

  • But because senators are not allowed to speak,

  • they have to write their questions down on a card.

  • And then, there are no limitations

  • on what these questions can be.

  • It can be anything they want as long as they write it down.

  • For instance, Senator Capito asked,

  • "When did Ukraine learn that the aid was frozen?"

  • Uh, Senator Peters asked,

  • "Does impeachment require a criminal violation?"

  • And Ted Cruz asked, "Does this look infected to you?"

  • (laughter)

  • Oh, and... and writing the questions down

  • on a special card isn't even close

  • to being the most elaborate part of this process,

  • because after the card is filled out,

  • they have to pass it forward to the parliamentarian,

  • who then has to pass it to Chief Justice Roberts,

  • who then has to read it out.

  • And if you think that process sounds slow,

  • that's because it is.

  • The senator from New Hampshire.

  • Mr. Chief Justice, I send a question to the desk.

  • Thank you.

  • (throat clearing)

  • (laughter)

  • Senator Shaheen asks the House managers.

  • Aah!

  • (laughter)

  • No wonder this thing takes 16 hours.

  • The senators communicating through note-passing

  • like they're back in middle school.

  • That's what that was.

  • "Senator McConnell has a question for Adam Schiff.

  • "Will you go to the dance with Sheila?

  • Yes, no, maybe."

  • (laughter)

  • The whole process makes no sense.

  • If the senators have a question,

  • why not just let them ask the question?

  • Or if Chief Justice is gonna have to read it out,

  • I mean, then he should at least have to do an impression

  • of the senator who asked the question.

  • Then it makes it fun.

  • Yeah, then it would be more interesting. He was like,

  • "This next question is from Senator Sanders from Vermont."

  • (imitating Sanders): "Why don't all shoes close with Velcro?

  • It's faster!"

  • "All right, next question."

  • That would be interesting.

  • (laughter)

  • Now, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

  • For most of the day, senators just asked questions

  • to their own side that gave them another chance

  • to repeat their talking points.

  • Democrats asked, "Donald Trump is guilty, isn't he?"

  • And Republicans asked, "What is it

  • that makes Donald Trump so innocent and handsome?"

  • But there was one moment, there was one moment

  • from the trial that caught everyone's attention,

  • and it came from Trump's attorney Alan Dershowitz.

  • MAN: This afternoon, in a stunning argument,

  • one of President Trump's top lawyers claimed

  • any president has almost unlimited power,

  • that his election is in the public interest,

  • and so, he said, Trump cannot be impeached.

  • Every public official that I know believes

  • that his election is in the public interest.

  • And if a president does something

  • which he believes will help him get elected

  • in the public interest,

  • that cannot be

  • the kind of quid pro quo

  • that results in impeachment.

  • Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived.

  • First, it was, "There was no quid pro quo."

  • Then it was, "Maybe there was a quid pro quo,

  • but it was to help the country, not Donald Trump."

  • And now it's like, "Hey, man,

  • "the Donald gonna do what the Donald gonna do.

  • You little bitch asses need to shut the hell up."

  • (laughter)

  • So just to be clear,

  • the Trump team's argument is now

  • that anything Trump does to get himself reelected is fine

  • because his reelection, in his mind, is good for the country,

  • and then it's not impeachable. Anything.

  • Yeah. So trump can collude,

  • Trump can obstruct, and it's all good.

  • Hell, he can even lock all the Democratic candidates

  • in a room with Eric. Yeah.

  • Just be like, (as Trump): "At some point,

  • one of you will eat the other, and either way, I win."

  • (laughter)

  • This-this whole idea-- it just seems like more

  • of like a... like a monarchy or something.

  • It seems... Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Hold on.

  • I'm getting a note.

  • Oh, it's a question.

  • For Alan Dershowitz.

  • It says, um, "Get the (bleep) out of here!"

Question time.

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トランプ弁護士アラン・ダーシャウィッツが弾劾裁判で衝撃を受ける|ザ・デイリーショー (Trump Lawyer Alan Dershowitz Shocks at the Impeachment Trial | The Daily Show)

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    林宜悉 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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