Julie-- Jolie Booen.

Jelly Bean.

Jolie.

Jelly Bean Booen.

Julie Bowen.

So we're going to play a game called

What Does Julie Bowen Know, Bowen Know-en?

That's the best we could do.

All right, so I'll ask you a question.

And then you will tell me.

And then I'll have to guess if you are actually correct--

Yes.

--and I believe you or not.

And you don't know the answers, right?

No, of course.

I'm seeing the questions for the first time.

OK.

And I don't know the answer to this.

The history of Valentine's Day, do you know it?

Yes, well, actually this one was an easy one,

because I was actually an Italian Renaissance studies

major.

So the history of Valentine's Day

comes from an ancient Roman festival

day called the Festival of Cupidelia,

which was to celebrate the Roman god of love.

And it became then, later on that day was celebrated

into the Middle Ages around 1400s,

it became a-- it was, like, a festival day when

the men would all dress like Cupid

and try to impregnate their wives.

And then the reason why it got called Valentine's Day is

that on that special day-- you're going

to call tWitch and ask him?

Ask him when he impregnated his wife.

I swear to God, he'll tell you when it was.

And--

That's none of your business.

[LAUGHTER]

So St--

Hello.

Are you hearing this?

I'm hearing this.

I'm feeling no.

What do you think?

I don't-- that doesn't sound right.

Yeah.

I didn't even tell you what Saint Valentine create--

It doesn't matter.

We don't buy any of it.

We say it's-- we say it's not true.

OK, fine.

Fine.

What is it?

I was an Italian Renaissance studies major.

I don't care what you were.

I'm lying.

She's lying.

All right, we were right.

She's lying.

OK.

All right.

We're going to give her--

[BUZZER]

--another chance.

There it is.

And to add insult to injury, that noise.

The mating rituals of lizards in the southwest.

Ah, yes.

So there is a special kind of lizard in New Mexico.

And all of the lizards there have a mating ritual

that is no mating ritual, because they're all women.

It's like-- where's Wonder Woman from?

You mean female.

They're not women, they're female.

[LAUGHTER]

No, they're women.

They're women lizards.

They're women lizards.

They are female lizards.

OK.

And they can reproduce without men.

However, they have no need for men whatsoever.

They're all women lizards and they don't eat any man lizards.

But for funsies, they still do it.

They still have relations.

I don't know what I can say.

They have sex as women for fun.

And the ones that are having sex for fun, have more babies.

I see.

Where in-- what state is this?

New Mexico.

OK, it says the southwest.

And the south-- well, the Southwest--

You know what, I do--

I do believe that that is true.

I believe there is a place that has just female lizards.

Women lizards.

Yeah, just-- what do you think, tWitch?

I'm going to have to go with false, Ellen.

I don't know if I believe that.

Well, that's because you don't want it to be true.

That you feel--

[LAUGHTER]

That there's no need for you, tWitch.

You feel like you must be needed or else there's going

to be no babies in the world.

It's true.

It is true.

It's true.

I'm sorry, tWitch.

Yeah, take that, tWitch.

OK.

Modern Family airs Wednesdays at 9:00 on ABC.

We'll be right back.

Julie Bowen, everybody.