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-Well, guys, it's been crazy
getting ready to do this special subway show,
so I've fallen a bit behind with some personal stuff --
you know, like, checking my inbox, returning e-mails,
and of course, sending out thank-you notes.
And so, since I was running a bit behind,
I thought, if you guys wouldn't mind,
I'd just like to write out some thank-you notes right now.
Is that cool with you guys?
[ Cheers and applause ]
James? James, can I get some thank-you-note-writing music, please?
♪♪
Oh, it's beautiful.
-Wow.
-[ Speaks indistinctly ]
-Normally, I wouldn't ask you to move, but could you move,
just so I could write my thank-you notes?
Sorry. There's a --
There's a wet seat over there that I was avoiding.
Oh, gosh.
♪♪
"Thank you, accidentally falling asleep on the subway,
for being the reason why every New Yorker
has visited Coney Island at least once."
[ Laughter ]
It's so true, yeah.
"Thank you, Times Square mascots,
for always answering the question,
'What if all the characters I grew up watching on TV
looked like I re-drew them from memory?'"
[ Laughter ]
It's kind of what Elmo looks like.
-Almost Elmo. -It's almost Elmo.
It's Almo. -Almo.
-Almo, yeah.
"Thank you, New York food carts,
for offering meatless hot dogs way before it was popular."
[ Laughter ]
"Thank you, New York City restaurant health grades.
'A' if for 'Awesome.'
'B' is for 'Better go somewhere else.'
And 'C' is for 'Call an ambulance.'"
[ Laughter ]
"Thank you, people who name their child 'Brooklyn,'
for paving the way for me to one day meet a 5-year-old
named 'Staten Island.'"
[ Laughter ]
-What's up?
-Come here, Staten.
-Staten?
Are you okay with him putting these cards --
I apologize. I'm sorry.
If you need me to say the joke twice,
I'll say it twice just for you.
Okay. Perfect.
"Thank you, Empire State Building,
for being everyone's favorite place
to watch King Kong pole dance."
[ Laughter ]
Thank you very much. Those are our thank-you notes, everybody.