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so I don't know if this is stating the obvious, but I'm a little bit of a mess right now.
Just emotionally, physically, academically.
Did I mention emotionally?
I thought I was just having period mood swings.
But now my period's over, and I have no excuse for still being a bitch.
So in the meantime, I've just been stuffing my face with various forms of sugary cards in an attempt to make myself feel better.
Even though in my 20 years of existence, this is never actually made me feel better.
But, you know, maybe this time it'll work.
Yep.
Still feel like shit.
So even though today I feel like a fucking sad flesh lump trapped inside a banana skin, that was weird.
I'm gonna show you guys how I do my makeup.
All righty, folks.
So this is what we're working with.
So first up, we have some the foundation.
This is the makeup sunshine tint, because it's gonna bring some sunshine to your life.
I fucking which maybe that would fix my seasonal affective disorder.
This shit just like rules on your face.
And it is actually somewhat soothing, but not soothing enough to fix my psyche.
Step two concealer.
This is the concealer that I use that the North won that every fucking beauty guru and their dog uses.
Normally, my skin isn't that bad.
But recently there's been a phone combination of stress and hormones and crying myself to sleep at night.
That probably has not been great for my skin.
Hence all of the acne on the front of my cheeks.
You know where my tears roll down that Emma was Fuck, So I'm just popping that on and lending it out so nobody can see what a fucking mess I am next.
I give myself some eyebrows because I sure as hell don't have any.
Naturally, the Asia and White combined, like decently for the rest of my body.
But for my eyebrows, they really just didn't know what to do.
So they're in this, like, wonky ass shape, so I just, like, pluck most of them off because they look fucking weird.
And then I just drove them back on, so my whole face is a lie.
David saw me recently without eyebrows, and that was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.
But that's the real order of modern relationships, isn't it?
You have sex, you go on a date.
You share stories about your childhood trauma.
You get married, you have kids.
And then, like the penultimate expression of love is, you show your face without eyebrows.
At least that was my plan.
But he's still sticking around.
So he's gotta marry me now.
I mean, like, I did not do a bad job today.
That's the only thing I've done right all week.
Next up, we're gonna powder up this baby because I've been stressed sweating a lot.
And also, you know, you get that special type of secretion out of your skin when you cry, and it's like a really gross type of sweat.
Oh, I forgot Araujo.
Ah, Next up, we're gonna go in for some eye action.
Honestly, Not sure whether this naked palate is fake or not, because I bought it like second hand off of deep off because I was too cheap to buy the real thing.
So let's just pop some of this mystery powder onto my islands.
I go in with a little bit of a low blow, and then I also I'm using this one sauce because this is just running out because I've used all of it.
In case you can't tell, this is why I'm not a beauty guru.
And then I'm going for a darker color to imagine how I feel on the inside.
That joke is really overused, but it's still sucking true, ain't it?
I'm just going on the outside of my eye and then blending it back out, and then I'm popping a little high later.
This one literally cost, like, $2 but she is fucking brighter than my future, and I'm gonna put it on my inner corners, too.
Make it seem like there's some light in my eyes.
This is getting too dark, and I also do a little bit on my nose and on the top of my lip and then under the old eyebrows.
My cheeks are a little bit extra puffy from stress and mostly the fact that I've consumed an entire pack of muffins and like five boxes of egos in the past few days.
So I do go in with some bronzer.
This is also a makeup palette that I bought used off of deep pop kind of apply the bronze or like it is a blush because somehow I find it flattering on my face and I do a little bit on my nose.
Cool.
And then my face is nearly done.
But I always go back and do a little bit of concealer right underneath my nose because I have a weird, like reverse mustache.
See how my lip is lighter on the mustache area and then it's darker here.
Like I just put a lower a concealer here, unknown, blended out.
And then there we go.
Now the reverse mustache is no longer.
I'm not a huge lipstick person because let's be real.
After this video, I'm going to go and toast.
Mauri goes and shove those in my face.
So I'm just using this little lip balm from the body shop.
It's like a tinted lip balm gloss situation.
Just ignore the fact that this is definitely a fire hazard.
Given the amount of carpet I have in this room with my hair all curl, this is the finish.
Look, do I look better?
Absolutely.
Do I feel any better?
No.