Meghan!

Baby!

Your troubles are over!

Now that you're coming to Canada it's time to say goodbye to that nasty old British media

Cruel! Bigoted! Unethical!

And say hello to your new bestie, the Canadian media!

Needy! Cloying! And thirsty AF for validation!

You're gonna love us.

Say our country's name on television, you're a hero for life!

Name a specific province on Twitter, you're allowed to commit crimes there.

Mention poutine and we will carry you around on a makeshift throne like the Ewoks.

Tired of being hounded 24/7 by the racist ghouls of the British tabloid press?

The British tabloids will destroy your life.

Not in Canada!

Our news cycle is relaxed!

Our tabloid journalists are not competent!

And our racism is less overt (unless you go online).

Bye bye sinister British reporters digging through your trash for a scandal!

Hello nice Canadian reporters, digging through your trash to see if you've been to Tim Hortons.

So come hang with the Canadian media!

We'll treat you right.

[Deep echoing voice] We'll treat you right forever.

Whoa that came out kinda creepy!

Have you though?

Been to Tim Hortons?

Did you like it?