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  • Hey guys how's it going? Hisashiburi desu, Mikaera desu.

    やあみんなどう?久しぶりです、 ミカエラです。

  • Long time no see, it's me I'm Micaela I'm Micaela. It's, it's my name.


  • And I am here with my bi-annual video update! I made the decision to not be online while


  • I was kind of figuring out my life and dating because I think it's really


  • really weird to be accessible on the internet when you're trying to meet


  • people for the first time in real life I really just wanted to meet people as I

    初めて会う人に対して、ありのままで 受け入れて欲しかったんですね。

  • was and not know that they could just go home and like see the latest upload to


  • see what I was thinking or feeling or what I was going through.

    今までの自分を勉強してくるとか、 想像すると少し嫌でした。

  • Making these videos back when nobody was watching them it felt like a


  • safe place to be very public and like open about my feelings but now I have to

    自由に発言できた気がしますね。 でも今はやっぱり気をつけないと

  • be very careful because you really don't know who's watching and you don't know


  • who's watching with intentions that are not good. So, I don't know if that

    見ている人が必ず 応援してくれている人と限らないからですね。

  • makes sense but I really just wanted to like the privacy to work through a new


  • start and sort of find my own identity outside of "Oh that's Micaela, she


  • makes some videos on the internet", and like stuff like that. So, yeah, that's what


  • I've been doing and, oh my god, dating is a trip. I hate it.

    で、言っとくけど、 人と交際するのはけっこう大変なことですよ?

  • Would not recommend it. Don't date, dating sucks. Don't go on tinder.

    お勧めしません。 デートしないでください 交際アプリを消すべきだと思います。

  • Bumble sucks, it's awful, it's awful. I've been there and I have horror stories one of

    楽しくないよ、全く。 出かけてみたけど、嫌な体験ばかりだった。

  • them which I want to share with you today just because I think it's really

    まあ、 その中で一つのストリーをピックアップしたくて

  • interesting as a non-japanese person who has lived in Japan for a long time, and I


  • think you guys might find this story interesting as well?


  • There was this guy and he started working at a restaurant that I went to a


  • lot with my friends and he was hafu (he was half Japanese half American) and I

    アメリカ人と日本人のハーフでしたが 、かなりイケメンでした。

  • thought oh man this guy's really cute and he's bilingual and -- this is me


  • projecting, I assumed that we would have a lot in common.


  • (As two people who don't physically look Japanese but who could speak both

    例えば、二人とも外見が違う中で 日本で頑張って生活しているところ、とか?

  • languages) and so I was really interested in getting to know this guy better he


  • had just moved to the city and he had never really done any exploring in

    しかも東京から福岡にきたばかりの人だったので、 観光もまだしなかったので

  • Fukuoka City so I offered to drive him to Itoshima because I wanted to be


  • a helpful tour guide and I was feeling really good about this plan I was like,

    福岡観光が得意な部門だし、 かなりの自信を持ちました。

  • "Awesome! This is something that I know really well! I know Fukuoka! I know tourism


  • really well, and I love food, I like driving, like -- I can do this! I'm gonna


  • pull off the best date ever! And I was so excited the morning of, it was


  • beautifu,l it was sunny, it was gonna be a perfect day driving around the beach.


  • I go to pick him up and we are driving out to Itoshima, we got to the restaurant,

    私は彼を迎えに行きます。 そして糸島へ、レストランに着きました、

  • and everything just like tumbled from there. What happened was -- he is a half

    しかし、そこから全てが転落したような感じです。 まあ、簡単に説明すると

  • American, half-Japanese person who came from Tokyo where, culturally, I am


  • assuming, there are a lot more mixed ethnicity people, and he was down in


  • Kyushu, out of the city. And me living here, I DO know what to expect, I walked


  • into this restaurant and they greeted us kind of with a fear-stricken face


  • because they don't speak English and they fumbled around a bit and then


  • handed us an English menu and basically just gestured for a seat and told us

    英語メニューを私たちに渡して 席に向かってジェスチャーをしました。

  • they like go sit down and this is something that I'm used to now. It's been


  • years, I'm so used to it, I know that that's how it is. I know it's not their

    悪気がなくて、スタッフのトレーニング の問題だと思います。

  • fault I know that showing up in the countryside somewhere, until I say


  • something in Japanese, they're going to be afraid that I'm not gonna understand


  • anything, and that's just how it is. Especially when you look like me.

    仕方ないですね。 こんな顔だもん。

  • So for me this kind of experience happens wherever I go, and I'm used to it,


  • and I know now that if I kind of wander off the beaten path and I pop into a


  • restaurant they're gonna look at me because they're not sure what language


  • to speak to me and until say something in Japanese. That


  • happens, and that's fine. But I think when you're hafu, when


  • you're mixed ethnicity in Japan it can go either way. So if you hang out with a


  • lot of Japanese people you will be assumed "Japanese," but if you are seen


  • with someone white as the f*cking moon,


  • they're going to assume that you don't speak Japanese. That like, ruined our


  • whole day basically. He was upset at how he was treated at the restaurant, he didn't


  • like that we were handed an English menu, in spite of the fact that we both


  • speak Japanese, he didn't like that the chairs were too short because he has


  • long legs, he did not like that the staff were staring at us, and it kind of made

    後ろのスタッフがジロジロみているの も嫌なようですにた。

  • me feel bad. Because I know that for him, if he were surrounded with Japanese

    それで、真っ白の白人の自分が悪かったかなー と思ってきました。

  • people or if he was on a date with a Japanese woman he wouldn't have been


  • treated the way that he was treated being seen with me. I know that me being


  • next to him was kind of the thing that switched their brains to - "oh no -

    私と一緒にいたせいで「外」 の扱いされてショックだったみたいです。

  • foreigners! What do we do?" and I felt like really insecure in


  • that moment, and I felt really bad because I was SO excited to take


  • this guy out and show him a good time, but basically from that restaurant and


  • that initial greeting and the way that we were like kind of just thrown into

    お店でスタッフが怖がっているように 扱いされて気分が落ち着きませんでした。

  • the restaurant and treated kind of like something that they were afraid of,


  • it really put him in a bad mood. And I was like "oh no, oh no" and so I said "okay,


  • well I'm sorry, let's just eat and get out of here real quick."

    次はプリンを食べに行って、 好きな場所に連れて行きました。

  • I took him to this pudding place which I really like, I've been a


  • few times, I really like it, but we got there and we got pudding, we walked


  • arounda and he was like "I don't know this place is weird I don't like it."


  • a


  • Anyway he didn't like the pudding place, and so I said "Alright, well let's find


  • somewhere else to go! If you don't like it, we can hop in the car and go


  • "somewhere else!!" and he goes "can you STOP trying to drag me place to place?"

    えええええ。 ちょっと待って、楽しませようとしていただけです。

  • "Just because I don't like somewhere, doesn't mean we have to leave!" I was like


  • I'm I'm just trying to show you a good time I'm just trying to be a

    そして彼に結構厳しく言われたのね、 「あなたは他人の思う事ですぐ変わるタイプだね。」

  • good host, and get through this day unscathed, and he was like, "you care too

    おそらく本当です。いや、きっとそうでした。 でも本当に頑張っていたの。

  • much about what people think". which is probably true. A lot of it was


  • probably true. I think I was trying really hard to just like be good and

    最後は、彼の前で泣いちゃって、 嫌になって早く帰った。笑

  • have fun and like have a good day? Maybe I'm too sensitive but at that point

    その後は、もう、頑張らないと思っていたね。 交際アプリも消しました。

  • I actually started crying and I was like "I just wanna go home, holy shit."

    もう、しばらくやめると決めて、 ある心理本を読んでみました。

  • After that date, I did a lot of thinking. I deleted tinder, I deleted bumble, I was

    ちゃんと読んでよかった本です。 自分のよくないところに気づいて、

  • like, " I'm not -- I'm not even gonna get out there." and started reading this book!


  • I'm really glad I read the book and it helped identify a lot of things


  • that I need to work on and I still feel like I need to work on, but it also


  • opened me up to new possibilities, because I never realized that having


  • a relationship isn't *supposed *to be emotionally draining all the time?


  • I thought like getting over "that emotional drainage" was what love


  • was, it was like "pushing through all the sad and pushing through all the


  • frustration" BUT a healthy relationship, apparently -- it's not supposed to feel


  • that way! So if you're like me, maybe you need to hear that? Yeah, it was really a


  • good time to reflect on my behaviors and how my behaviors kind of influenced the

    って事で、 実は彼氏ができました。

  • outcome of my bad decisions. So I've been trying to make better decisions.


  • I've been trying to be healthy, yeah, recently I have been dating someone


  • who is actually very secure, very secure, and very calm -- never gets angry


  • never raises their voice, very gentle and loving and sweet, and he's a


  • very good person. So I'm hoping it goes well. I'm not gonna talk too much about

    この調子で続けたら良いと思っています。 ヤッホ!ロン君!

  • it right now, but we have fun, and everything is really nice, and I hope


  • that it's this nice for a very long time. Hi Lon! (Meows)


  • Anyway so that's where we are now.


  • Yeah, I don't know -- Hello! Look who came to visit!


  • Now, um, it's hard to know

    ビザは2021年まであるので、あ、 みんな来ました。

  • what the future is gonna look like. I know that I'm here this year my visa is


  • until 2021, and um ... both pets are here.


  • So as far as this year, I know


  • that I'm definitely staying in Japan, I don't know what I'm gonna do


  • past 2021, that's when my visa expires, and I could apply for PR or I could


  • apply to just extend my visa another three years, but I'm not sure what I'm


  • going to do right now. Just because I feel like, things changed so quickly


  • lately, and it hasn't actually reached a point where I feel comfortable like "Okay


  • maybe things are gonna stay like this for a while." Everything is always


  • changing so who knows how I'm gonna feel in a year and a half? But for the time


  • being I'm definitely here this year, and I'm looking forward to doing all the


  • things that I want to do while I'm here. I hope that this is the year that my


  • parents finally come to visit! I hope that this is the year that I finally go


  • to Hokkaido for the first time! I hope that this is the year that I get to do


  • all the things that I want to do! And I'm gonna work really hard to make it happen.


  • For the next month, at least, I know I have a few travel videos lined up, and I


  • will try to keep you posted on little life update things as well in between. If


  • there's anything that you want to know, let me know in the comments! If you have


  • any terrible dating stories, you can leave those in the comments - it might


  • be extremely cathartic for those of us who have also been through some tough times.


  • Alright guys, thanks for listening. Talk to you again soon. Bye!

  • yeah

  • you

Hey guys how's it going? Hisashiburi desu, Mikaera desu.

やあみんなどう?久しぶりです、 ミカエラです。


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A2 初級 日本語 日本 ハーフ デート 交際 スタッフ あんまり


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    Mayu Okuuchi に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日