go with frogs. Despite the cartoony depictions of these frogs, there's something more hardcore

at work here. It just... well, it happens to be covered in cartoon frogs. But I've seen

this choreography before. I've seen these movements, these patterns. The sprites may

be different but the game is most definitely the same. Don't insult my intelligence, Cosmo

Gang The Video. I see you for what you really are. Ladies and gents, courtesy of our dear

friend Felicity in Worcestershire, I give you: BABY'S FIRST GALAGA.

Which, given that this is a Namco product, isn't really that far off. It feels like Galaga,

it plays like Galaga for the most part, but the visuals, including... y'know, I think

they're insects now. We'll go with insects. The visuals, including these insects, are

lifted from a popular ticket-redemption game... AKA those things I walk past at Dave & Busters

as I'm about to get my groove on at the Pump it Up machine. And Namco have, on occasion,

given them their own chances to shine on the home consoles... although it's usually either

a knock-off of Pac Attack or a knockoff of Galaga. Still, even fake-Galaga can be a damn

good time (as the Kacho has shown us), and this version certainly tries to mix things

up a bit by including a number of wrinkles, like... um... wild west gunslinging? Where

you're trying to push these insect... frog... things back away from the clearly-marked bags

of money. I thought Challenging Stages in Galaga were supposed to be about smashing

every enemy ship, not, y'know, beating back... these guys.

But ultimately the differences lie in a much simpler learning curve and a preponderance

of power-ups and potent... um... shots. Man. I WISHED punches worked there. But no. You

move from side to side, slalom incoming shots, and shoot upward so as to deliver vengeance

upon these... um... frog-insect things. Maybe they're ants? I guess that'd still be insects,

though. It's certainly got a world more color than the dismal starfield that contained this

style of gameplay, and there's a non-trivial amount of vocal work for these... man. ARE

THEY INSECTS OR ARE THEY FROGS OR WHAT? That's the only really bad thing I can say about

Cosmo Gang, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL THESE THINGS ARE. I guess I'll just continue to

shoot them, collect their delicious bouncing power-ups, and then shoot more of them.

There you have it: Cosmo Gang. It's Galaga for people who weren't around for actual arcades

and can't really understand what the fuss was about. On the one hand, it's kinda sad,

on the other, I'm glad to see that those ideas manage to live on, even if it's all kinda...

easycakes. At least you're not plunking quarter after quarter into a monolithic device; that

was a lot of money back now. But now you can enjoy all the action at home... well, with

any number of domestically-available versions of Galaga, OR this strange Japanese derivation

that keeps things looking shiny, even as you're spraying insect ant frog guts all over the

place.