What's wrong?

I'm trying to sell our old sandwich maker.

Two people are interested.

There's Marcio. He's offering a kayak ride for two,

which sounds fun.

But Daniela's offering a handjob and a cap.

-What? -Think I'll pick the kayak.

You don't see me wearing many caps.

-She offered a handjob? -Yeah.

But you know I'm quick on handjobs.

With a stranger it'd be like, pump, pump, done.

You seriously considered a handjob?

You insane, Claudio? Is this a porn site?

Porn site?

This is Craigslist!

Craigslist...?

Before, people bought on eBay and stuff.

But now, with the crisis, people are trading off more.

It's come to the point of offering handjobs for a sandwich maker?

Can you believe it...

Claudio, you're such a sleazeball.

-What? -You say it like it's so normal.

I can't believe this!

-What...? -I can't believe it!

No, I can't believe it! You talk like it's something outrageous!

-And it's not? -Why would it be?

Remember when you wanted an engagement ring?

That one in your hand? You even cried to have it?

-Yeah, what about it? -Craigslist!

I bought it off a recently divorced lady!

I got half for you!

Claudio, the whole ring's here.

Yeah, it's whole,

but I paid half in cash

and half was a trade.

I gave her my bag and 30 minutes getting fucked by a strap-on!

Jesus, Claudio! That's not a trade!

It's got a different name!

-Fuck... -Yeah, a different name!

It's called a bargain!

This ring of yours was bought with my tears!

-Tears of pain! -I don't believe it...

Yeah, same! You've had this for over a year

and you didn't notice "Raul" engraved.

That's what's outrageous. Gimme a break.

-Fucking hell... -Fucking hell?

Let me see who's messaging me.

Hello?

Hey, Jakhur.

What's up?

No, yes, yes.

She's gonna get ready and come down asap, okay?

Thanks.

Get ready, I forgot to mention.

This couple from Angola wanted a surrogate mom, so I offered you.

-What? -Well,

you always dreamed of birthing a child, right?

So I got the best deal.

They're gonna pay us R$ 300 and two tickets to Paraty,

-all expenses paid. -That's it?

Not just that!

There's also this gorgeous yellow bike.

How many gears?

Oh, my God, what a sweet baby!

What's his name?

You know,

I didn't even have time to ask.

-Wow... -Thanks.

What the...?