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  • 00:00:05,928 --> 00:00:08,398 [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:00:11,477 --> 00:00:12,560 GELONG THUBTEN: Thank you.

  • Thank you.

  • So I'd like to start by talking about the concept of freedom.

  • I think the term "freedom," the concept of freedom,

  • is something that is very important to us.

  • We're very passionate in our search for freedom

  • and in our defense of our rights of freedom.

  • And we fought very hard for many centuries to achieve a certain

  • level of freedom, which in many ways has been achieved,

  • in many ways hasn't.

  • But what I'm interested in addressing

  • is the fact that even though we may have

  • a certain degree of external freedom in terms of how we live

  • our lives, in terms of how we dress, what we believe in,

  • what we do with our time, there's

  • a deeper aspect to freedom that I

  • think is more important, which is deep down in our minds,

  • how free are we.

  • So if we look at our mind and we see how often it does

  • things we don't want it to do--

  • often, our mind goes to places we don't want it to go--

  • thoughts, emotions, memories, worries.

  • So the mind is not behaving in a way we want it to behave.

  • And also, the opposite--

  • very often, our mind does things or goes to places

  • we don't want it to go to--

  • worries, obsessive planning, painful memories, reactions.

  • When we're sitting in a car stuck in traffic,

  • and then we find ourselves reacting negatively--

  • feeling impatient, feeling upset--

  • this is beyond our intellect, isn't it?

  • We don't plan that reaction.

  • Or when somebody says something to us that we don't like,

  • and we feel hurt, we feel upset.

  • We don't plan the reaction.

  • So in many ways, we are not in control of our minds.

  • And of course, you discover this really strongly

  • when you try to meditate.

  • Anybody who meditates discovers within five minutes, or five

  • seconds, the lack of control.

  • We're trying to sit there and focus on our breathing,

  • for example.

  • And within seconds, the mind is planning menus, or writing

  • emails, or plotting revenge.

  • I don't know.

  • The mind is going to places constantly.

  • So there's this lack of freedom, this lack of choice.

  • And then when it comes to happiness,

  • the same thing seems to be the case--

  • that we don't know how to choose happiness.

  • It's almost as if we have to hope

  • that happiness will choose us.

  • You know what I mean?

  • And also, our quest for happiness

  • is very much based on external things.

  • Very often, we think happiness will come from,

  • and then there's a whole list--

  • people, places, situations.

  • Happiness comes from those things.

  • And so then we are left hoping that we

  • can manipulate our life to a certain degrees

  • so that happiness will arise.

  • But of course, it's beyond our control.

  • And also, I think, for many people,

  • the definition of happiness is very much

  • based on a sensation, a kind of quick sensation,

  • almost like a buzz.

  • We have this kind of-- we want to get high.

  • We want to feel something.

  • Our idea of happiness is a sensation

  • that is triggered by something, and then we feel good.

  • And of course, the problem with that is it doesn't last.

  • So we feel good, then we feel bad.

  • It's very unstable.

  • So when our happiness depends on an external trigger,

  • then the problem is when the trigger is absent,

  • the happiness is absent.

  • And we're just, in a way, lurching from one

  • high to the next, looking for a buzz, looking for a sensation.

  • And so much of the way we construct our lives now

  • is based on that with our use of the internet, even

  • food, caffeine, different experiences.

  • We construct our life to give us these sensations that

  • make us feel good.

  • But the problem is the more we are hoping that happiness

  • will come to us from the outside,

  • the more we feel lacking inside.

  • In a way, we're telling ourselves

  • that we are deficient.

  • I need this.

  • I need that.

  • I need that.

  • Then I'll be happy.

  • So we're creating a feeling of lack,

  • that we lack that happiness.

  • We're creating a deficiency or sense of almost despair,

  • and this becomes very painful.

  • And then also, the wanting and the grasping and craving

  • that we experience becomes a habit that creates more

  • wanting, grasping, and craving.

  • So the wanting leads to more wanting,

  • and then we feel never satisfied,

  • because whatever we get isn't enough,

  • because we're perpetuating the habit of wanting.

  • So then we're jumping over the experience,

  • looking for the next thing.

  • So we feel this unsettled quality in our lives,

  • almost like a fear or a feeling of uncertainty.

  • And this feeds us to want more.

  • So it's a very vicious cycle.

  • And then all the things that we depend upon

  • for our happiness are, of course, impermanent.

  • They're subject to change.

  • So there's a feeling of uncertainty

  • because we're depending on the unreliable.

  • And we kind of know that.

  • We kind of know that everything we depend upon

  • for our happiness is unreliable because

  • of its changeable nature.

  • So we have two problems here.

  • We have the problem of endless wanting

  • and the problem of depending on the unreliable.

  • So this kind of happiness hasn't worked for us.

  • It hasn't given us peace.

  • It's just made us more exhausted, more frustrated.

  • And I think, through meditation training,

  • we can find a very different approach.

  • Basically, we're looking for something different--

  • happiness from the inside.

  • We're recognizing that happiness and suffering

  • are states of mind.

  • So of course, they are triggered by all kinds of situations.

  • But ultimately, they are mind states.

  • So if we're looking at our states of mind,

  • and then looking at the possibility

  • to transform those states of mind,

  • then that becomes very fruitful.

  • And then, of course, the problem starts up again,

  • because we start meditating looking for happiness.

  • So we're busy meditating, and then, again,

  • trying to get something, trying to feel something.

  • And this is the struggle for many people

  • in meditation, is they say, it's not

  • working because I don't feel anything.

  • I've been at this for this long.

  • When am I going to get high?

  • Where's the buzz?

  • 00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:06,360 So we want the feeling because we're very conditions

  • to feel something.

  • We're in this culture of looking for a high.

  • And then we meditate and look for the same thing.

  • The cycle starts again of wanting, not getting,

  • feeling it's not enough.

  • So I think maybe we could redefine

  • our notion of happiness here.

  • And instead of looking for some kind of feeling or sensation--

  • which is very temporary, it comes and it goes--

  • instead of that, maybe we could discover a kind of peace

  • within ourselves where everything is OK.

  • Whether things are going well or not going well,

  • everything can be OK.

  • Because true happiness is a state of freedom

  • where our mind can feel calm and positive.

  • And when I say calm, I'm not talking about some kind

  • of tranquilized state.

  • Often when people hear about meditation and mindfulness,

  • they think, OK, this is about calming the mind.

  • So I'm going to really bring my stress down.

  • I'm really going to calm down.

  • And then what happens to people is

  • they think meditation means you're supposed to get rid

  • of all of your thoughts.

  • So they have this idea that the calm state is

  • an empty state, a blank state.

  • Calming the mind means stilling everything, stilling the mind.

  • And that again becomes a problem because we're

  • struggling to blank out our thoughts and emotions.

  • And we think of meditation a bit like going to sleep

  • or going into a coma, just going under.

  • It's not about going to sleep.

  • It's about waking up.

  • It's about being present, being conscious, being aware.

  • So then the thoughts and feelings and distractions

  • are actually part of the whole journey.

  • It's all about how you deal with those.

  • It's not about calming them down so there's nothing happening.

  • It's about being the observer, taking

  • the place of the observer, the one who is aware of the mind.

  • And the observer is happy.

  • The observer is free.

  • Let's think about it this way.

  • When you're experiencing unhappiness,

  • when you're experiencing sadness,

  • there's a part of you that knows you're unhappy.

  • And when you meditate, you become more identified

  • with that part that knows what the mind is doing.

  • And that part is not in the unhappiness.

  • That part is able to see it.

  • So that awareness is free.

  • And the more we can build our awareness,

  • the more freedom we can develop.

  • So I think it's important to stop seeing meditation

  • and mindfulness as a way of just getting rid of

  • or removing everything, but instead,

  • a way of becoming the observer of the mind.

  • And this is how we choose happiness.

  • Because when we can be the observer,

  • we can start to make choices.

  • Let's look at what happens to somebody in a meditation

  • session.

  • They are observing their breathing.

  • That's a very common technique-- focusing on your breathing.

  • And then, of course, within a few seconds,

  • the mind starts wandering.

  • And then the person starts punishing themselves

  • and saying, I'm a failure, I can't do this.

  • That's not right.

  • So instead of feeling like a failure

  • because our mind wandered, the other option

  • would be to simply notice that the mind wandered

  • and then return to the breath, gently

  • and compassionately returning to the breath.

  • This is actually the meaning of compassion,

  • is that you're not beating yourself up

  • for what your mind is doing.

  • And also, you're not trying to chase those thoughts

  • and make them different.

  • You're just letting them be how they are.

  • That's unconditional love.

  • You have a thought or a feeling.

  • It's OK the way it is.

  • You don't need to get rid of it.

  • You don't need more of it.

  • It's just fine.

  • That's compassion.

  • It's fine the way it is.

  • And then you return to the breath, and you carry on,

  • and then the mind goes again.

  • The mind escapes again.

  • The mind floats off into thoughts,

  • and you bring it back.

  • And this bringing it back again and again--

  • that's how we're exercising choice.

  • Because it was choiceless that our mind got distracted.

  • And now we're turning around and bringing it back to the breath.

  • We're making that choice.

  • I'm coming back here.

  • So through meditation training, we're

  • strengthening that power of choice.

  • And then as we meditate every day,

  • regularly, just like going to the gym,

  • lifting weights, exercise, we're exercising our mind.

  • And this is making us stronger.

  • So then we can find that in our life,

  • we can become more able to choose to stay positive.

  • Instead of being automatically dragged

  • into negative reactivity, which is our normal habit,

  • we can choose to stay calm and stay present, stay focused,

  • stay positive.

  • And what we're doing is we're choosing

  • a happiness that is beyond triggers and supports and need.

  • It's simply an internal state of being.

  • 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:40,831 So when we hear this term inner peace, it sounds very weak,

  • doesn't it?

  • Inner peace, like nothing is happening.

  • But I think it means to be at peace

  • with your experiences, negative ones as well as positive ones.

  • So say you're sitting in the car.

  • A favorite practice of mine is to practice mindfulness moments

  • when I'm stuck in traffic or when I'm standing

  • in a queue at an airport.

  • So these are situations that normally make us feel wound up,

  • irritated, impatient, et cetera.

  • So you're choosing instead to just

  • be aware of your body and your breathing.

  • You're sitting in that car.

  • You're stuck in traffic.

  • Your mind is running into the impatience or anger,

  • and you just pull it back and go into a sense of presence--

  • feeling the ground under your feet,

  • feeling the chair under your body,

  • being aware of your shoulders, your breathing.

  • You're in that mindful state.

  • What you've done in that moment is

  • you've reprogrammed yourself.

  • Because we normally have this automatic programming

  • of when I'm in a stressful situation, such as waiting

  • for something, I must react negatively.

  • It's not even intellectualized.

  • It's very much part of our habit,

  • our habitual way of reacting.

  • So instead, we're changing that and learning

  • to just be still and be calm and be in this moment

  • without judging this moment.

  • So we're reprogramming ourselves.

  • We're, in a way, rewiring ourself.

  • Instead of having this stressful situation and negative reaction

  • fused together, we have a stressful situation

  • and a relaxed response, creating a new connection.

  • In terms of our brain, we're building new neural pathways.

  • And these become stronger and stronger and stronger.

  • And also, we're learning happiness.

  • Because next time you're stuck in traffic,

  • you can think, oh, great.

  • Now I can do that thing that I learned from that monk.

  • So you feel joy.

  • You think, great.

  • Bring it on.

  • Traffic.

  • Come on.

  • Let's do more.

  • It's like going to the gym and loading more weights

  • on the weight-lifting machine.

  • You get bigger muscles.

  • So life's struggles and difficulties

  • become chances or opportunities for awakening.

  • So then you're almost looking forward to that.

  • I don't mean you're becoming some kind of masochist who just

  • wants everything to go wrong.

  • I just mean that you're taking experiences as they come.

  • And when you're stuck in traffic, you feel OK.

  • You feel, in a way, good.

  • You want this to happen because it gives you

  • a chance for training.

  • And then that shifts into your relationships.

  • Because let's face it-- relationships are the main

  • provokers of stress in our life--

  • how people behave, how we behave, all of that stuff.

  • So that becomes your traffic experience.

  • You're with somebody who you feel uncomfortable,

  • and that's your traffic training, because you're

  • learning to meet the obstacle with a relaxed mind, which

  • doesn't mean you've become passive or like a doormat,

  • letting people abuse you.

  • It doesn't mean that.

  • It simply means you don't get wound up.

  • And it means you can actually, in a way,

  • experience compassion towards that person.

  • Because in the same way as when you're stuck in traffic

  • and you felt somehow good about the traffic,

  • because this is your chance for training,

  • you now feel that this person is your friend.

  • They're presenting you with an opportunity for training.

  • So your heart opens to them.

  • And that's compassion.

  • You see, for many people, compassion is very partial.

  • It's just an emotional experience

  • that is triggered when you see small, fluffy animals

  • and children, or the vulnerable.

  • And of course, that's a very, very crucial area

  • of compassion.

  • We see people who are vulnerable.

  • We feel compassion.

  • But that's very partial just in that moment, at that time,

  • and it's just an experience of an emotional reaction that

  • comes and goes.

  • Whereas what I'm talking about here,

  • through meditation training, is where

  • you're building the networks of compassion in your behavior.

  • In your brain, in your behavior, you're building those networks.

  • Because every time somebody does something

  • or says something that makes you uncomfortable,

  • you don't have to take it.

  • You don't have to be a victim.

  • But how you feel internally is the crucial thing, isn't it?

  • And if you can see this person as your compassion tester,

  • your opportunity, then your energy changes,

  • and the relationship changes.

  • So you're choosing happiness even in difficult situations.

  • Because I think if happiness is only in certain situations

  • when things are going well, then it's very partial.

  • But if you're choosing to be happy, even against the odds,

  • then you're really in charge of your life.

  • 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,250 But of course, we have to train in this.

  • This is work.

  • This is work.

  • We need to train.

  • We need to put effort into daily meditation.

  • And I think many people find that difficult because they're

  • so busy, and meditation is the last thing on the list,

  • and then we're too tired, all of those things.

  • But I think, actually, the main reason people

  • struggle to meditate every day is because of grasping.

  • It's because of a sense of hidden grasping,

  • a hidden agenda, which is I want the meditation to make

  • me feel good.

  • It's a hidden agenda.

  • It's got to feel nice.

  • And if it doesn't feel nice, it's not worth doing.

  • And then, of course, that doesn't happen,

  • so then we don't want to meditate.

  • We want to do other stuff.

  • We don't drink five coffees in a row

  • because that makes us feel better, or whatever.

  • We want things.

  • We want people.

  • We want situations.

  • That's feeding us very instantly.

  • The meditation doesn't give us an instant hit.

  • So it becomes much harder to stay committed to something

  • that's not giving you a hit.

  • It's really hard.

  • So I think the solution is to do two things.

  • One is to learn how to practice tiny moments of meditation

  • throughout the day.

  • I'm not saying that will give you a hit,

  • but I'm just saying it's easy to just drop into a mindful state

  • while you're washing your hands, or brushing your teeth,

  • or stuck in traffic, because it's just a moment.

  • You're not requiring time.

  • You're just momentarily going into that state

  • throughout the day.

  • And what happens to you is you start to notice

  • that this is quite pleasurable.

  • You're not looking for pleasure.

  • You're not looking for a feeling.

  • But as the mindfulness builds up throughout your day,

  • you start to feel good, because you start to feel at peace,

  • and you start to feel nourished.

  • It brings an enormous amount of nourishment into your being

  • because you're being present, you're being calm,

  • you're not going with negative reactivity.

  • This is really enriching.

  • And this gets you wanting to meditate more.

  • So that's one thing.

  • Another thing which really helps if you

  • find it hard to meditate regularly

  • is to occasionally develop some kind of wisdom

  • about the process of meditation, which

  • means to spend time thinking about why meditation

  • is important.

  • And the best way to do this is to actually ask yourself

  • simple questions, such as where does happiness really come

  • from.

  • Where does happiness really come from?

  • And where does suffering really come from?

  • They come from the mind.

  • They are mind states.

  • And what happens if I change my mind state?

  • What happens if I train my mind?

  • How does this address the deep question

  • of happiness and suffering?

  • So if you ask yourself that, it helps you to remember that

  • actually, in life, all we want is happiness and freedom

  • from pain, and all the things we're doing to get that

  • are only working to a certain degree.

  • But if happiness and freedom from pain are mind states,

  • then surely, training our mind is the way to get what we want.

  • So when you realize that meditation will actually

  • give you what you wanted from all those other things

  • but weren't getting in the long run,

  • when you realize it's a long journey,

  • but it will give you what you wanted,

  • then you want to meditate.

  • This gives you energy for practice.

  • 00:22:48,470 --> 00:22:51,580 So I think I've covered a few points here.

  • I've been talking about happiness

  • and the choice of choosing happiness, learning

  • where happiness comes from, and the link with meditation

  • practice.

  • And I think a really crucial thing

  • to take away from this is that meditation requires letting go

  • rather than grasping.

  • We tend to live in such a grasping culture.

  • We're always wanting something.

  • And then when we meditate, it's really hard

  • not to grasp after results.

  • But I it's really important just to have some time when

  • we totally let go and just experience our mind,

  • whether it's busy or not busy.

  • There's no such thing as good meditation or bad meditation.

  • Some people have a session where their mind

  • is just crazy, crazy, just rolling around like a--

  • I don't know-- like a spinning top,

  • and they feel it was a bad session.

  • To me, that's a good session, because you

  • saw your mind in all its glory.

  • You're experiencing the busy mind.

  • That's a good session.

  • That's work.

  • 00:23:56,540 --> 00:23:59,110 That's a good workout.

  • So maybe we need to move away from this judgment

  • around what a good session and a bad session is.

  • And I think then we can experience more freedom

  • and greater compassion.

  • So I want to stop there and now open this up

  • to questions and discussion.

  • So [INAUDIBLE] is going to lead that.

  • SPEAKER: I think I've known you a little more than a year now.

  • And every time--

  • I think last year [INAUDIBLE] six weeks of coming to Google

  • and giving such talks.

  • And I still find myself learning new things when you

  • speak about the same subjects.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Me too.

  • Every time I speak, I learn something.

  • SPEAKER: OK So I have a lot of questions,

  • but there's a lot of people in the room.

  • So I want to make sure I give time to--

  • well, not everyone, but a lot of people to ask questions.

  • But I'll just start with a few questions

  • and then open it up to the floor.

  • And I want to start with a bit more, I guess,

  • personal about your choice when you decided to leave acting

  • and become a monk.

  • At what period of your life, and how

  • did you come to that decision, in case

  • there's someone in the room looking to make the switch?

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Oh, yeah OK.

  • So I was 21, which is 25 years ago.

  • And I was living in New York.

  • And I was incredibly stressed.

  • I really was burning out with stress.

  • And I needed something to really get my emotional and physical

  • health back on track.

  • And a friend of mine told me about a Buddhist monastery

  • called Samye Ling in Scotland.

  • It's the oldest Tibetan Buddhist monastery in the West.

  • It was started in the 1960s.

  • And she told me about this place and said,

  • you could go there and be a monk for a year

  • to sort yourself out.

  • And I went there, and I became a monk after three days.

  • And it was only for a year, first of all.

  • I wasn't planning to stay longer.

  • But slowly, over time, during that year,

  • I started to study Buddhist philosophy and meditation.

  • And also, through studying these teachings,

  • my attitude about life started to change.

  • I started to think, what do I want in my life?

  • Do I want to live a life maybe more that's

  • down the avenue of service, serving others?

  • And I started to see how being a monk

  • could help me to not only help myself, but help others.

  • And so I decided to stay.

  • And I eventually became a fully ordained life monk.

  • But the initial motive, I think, was just feeling really crazy

  • and needing some peace.

  • And then it changed into a sense of a journey and a path

  • which I'm learning and trying to help others to learn.

  • SPEAKER: Cool.

  • At the beginning of a journey, I suppose,

  • in a lot of people that start meditating,

  • your probably face some challenges

  • and some difficulties.

  • And I know you've probably meditated way--

  • a lot more than a lot of people in the room.

  • So I guess just to relate to your experience,

  • your challenges when you first started to meditate,

  • and a lot of the difficulties you faced,

  • what are some of them that you can share?

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Well, the first time

  • I meditated, it was really into the deep end.

  • We had to do two hours without moving.

  • And I just remember sitting there with my legs on fire.

  • I had to sit cross-legged on the floor.

  • My legs and my back on fire.

  • And there was a carpet in front of me with patterns,

  • and I was looking at these patterns

  • to just try and stay alive.

  • Just focus on that pattern, and you won't go crazy.

  • So that was extreme.

  • And then, of course, I learned how to build it up slowly

  • and do smaller sessions.

  • But one of the challenges I found earlier on,

  • which I addressed in this talk, is

  • that I really was searching for a feeling all the time.

  • And there was a period where I was doing a lot of meditation

  • and getting very depressed and feeling very--

  • almost like let down.

  • It was a heavy feeling.

  • And I spoke to my teacher, [INAUDIBLE] Rinpoche, and he--

  • I told him about this, and he said, actually,

  • you're like somebody who's taking drugs.

  • You're using the meditation like a drug.

  • You're trying to get high.

  • And I realized that's what I was doing.

  • I was sitting down to try and ramp up

  • some sensation in my mind or my body.

  • And of course, because you're looking for something,

  • you're feeling the lack of that.

  • And so he showed me how to work through that, and instead--

  • there really has to be a motivation of compassion.

  • Even if you're just meditating for stress reduction,

  • that's not enough.

  • There's got to be a feeling that this is not just

  • about me, but about others.

  • And you're dedicating your practice

  • to the happiness of all, the happiness of others.

  • And then this removes the grasping--

  • not all of it, but some of it--

  • and also gives a sense of a journey.

  • SPEAKER: And at this stage for you, do you still

  • find it hard to let go of the grasping

  • and always have the right intention?

  • Do you still struggle?

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Of course I still struggle.

  • 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,270 This whole idea of having the right intention that--

  • in Buddhism, we talk about having the motivation to free

  • all beings from suffering, and this

  • needs to be your motivation for practice.

  • So I could really give myself a hard time about that

  • and say, well, that's not genuine.

  • I'm not experiencing that much, and my motivation

  • is not good enough.

  • But I actually think wanting to have good motivation

  • is good motivation.

  • It's almost like wanting to be more compassionate means

  • you already are compassionate.

  • And that's the way I relax myself about this stuff.

  • When I'm struggling with this stuff,

  • I say, actually, I'm doing my best, so it's OK.

  • I'm much gentler on myself than I used to be.

  • That's changed a lot through meditation.

  • SPEAKER: I suppose it's a common challenge for a lot when

  • you beat yourself with a stick when it wasn't

  • a good meditation session.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: It wasn't good enough.

  • It wasn't authentic.

  • It wasn't this.

  • It wasn't that.

  • That's just another judgment.

  • That's another thing to let go of.

  • SPEAKER: And-- along those lines of what's good

  • and what's bad-- so a lot of people sometimes,

  • me included, when you're feeling good, then OK,

  • and whatever is around you is benefiting you.

  • To meditate, you sit and meditate.

  • But when you're sick, when you're ill,

  • when you don't feel good, you're like, no, I

  • don't need meditation now.

  • Or vise versa-- sometimes people really only

  • meditate when they're stressed.

  • And when they're really happy, they're like,

  • I don't need medication because I'm already happy.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: The first one is more common, which is--

  • both are true, and the first one is even more common,

  • which is where, if you're tired, you're sick, you're unhappy,

  • you think, oh, I'll meditate later.

  • I'm not in the right state for it to be a good session.

  • And this is really a deceptive motivation.

  • Because what happens then is you're telling yourself,

  • I have to feel a certain way for my meditation to work.

  • I can only meditate when I feel like it, when I feel good.

  • And that's not meditation.

  • Then it's again back to that grasping.

  • So I think it's really important to meditate when you're tired,

  • when you're sick, when you're unhappy.

  • Because you're just being with that experience

  • in an unconditional way.

  • And that is how you make friends with yourself,

  • all aspects of yourself.

  • Otherwise, you're just showing up at the meditation cushion

  • when you're in a good mood.

  • It's like you're having a very partial relationship

  • with yourself, like a fair-weather friend.

  • When I'm in a good mood, then I'll sit with my mind.

  • But when my mind is not in a good state,

  • I'm going to reject it.

  • So instead, if you meditate when you're unwell,

  • you're making friends with your experience in a very genuine,

  • compassionate way.

  • SPEAKER: Does anybody have any questions,

  • or should I keep going?

  • AUDIENCE: So you were speaking about the experience

  • of being stuck in traffic.

  • So I wonder if any of the techniques

  • may be applied to the situation where you are actually driving.

  • So I wonder whether being mindful

  • may get in the way of doing some important work that

  • requires being focused on something external.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Well, actually, just to drive a car,

  • you are being mindful.

  • Everyone has a natural kind of mindfulness.

  • To drive a car, you have to be mindful.

  • Otherwise, your car is going to crash.

  • So there is already a level of mindfulness there.

  • And I think it's important to see mindfulness

  • as you're being really present.

  • You're not switched off.

  • Some people like to close their eyes and go within.

  • That's not what I'm talking about.

  • I'm talking about being totally in this moment.

  • So when you're driving a car, you

  • have to be totally in this moment.

  • But what many people do is they drive a car,

  • and they are partially mindful of what's going on.

  • And then they're listening to music and chatting to a friend,

  • and there's very split attention.

  • But you could drive completely mindfully,

  • and that could be meditation.

  • 00:33:20,687 --> 00:33:21,770 AUDIENCE: So I basically--

  • I have two comments, and I was hoping you can reflect on it.

  • So the first comment is why isn't

  • being more aware and a state of freedom the default.

  • Why is it such a challenge for us?

  • And secondly, I was wondering, are we not actually choosing--

  • not per se happiness, but to be more

  • in control of the different states of being?

  • So it's more like a control issue, almost.

  • If you have more awareness of all the states of being,

  • then you feel in control.

  • You're not as much into either being happy or suffering.

  • So basically, the two comments are why it's not the default

  • and why it's not more about building awareness

  • to feel more in control.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Well, in a way, when

  • you say happiness and freedom and default,

  • in the Buddhist understanding, we

  • believe that our natural mind is pure.

  • Our deeper mind is free.

  • We call it Buddha nature, which is that deep down inside, we

  • have the potential for awakening.

  • And in fact, every time you sit down on a chair or a cushion

  • to meditate, you're acknowledging that potential.

  • Because why would you do something

  • unless you felt you had the potential

  • to achieve the results of it?

  • So you're meditating because you know there's something deeper.

  • So in a way, our natural state is happy and pure and free.

  • But it's layered with confusion.

  • We get caught up in confusion.

  • We get addicted to confusion.

  • And a lot of that is to do with survival--

  • the survival instinct, the fight or flight reaction.

  • In a way, our brain is wired to obsess about what's wrong

  • and what's dangerous, because that's how we stay alive.

  • But much deeper than that is pure consciousness

  • that we can learn to slowly access through meditation.

  • And then the second comment around--

  • actually, I've forgotten your second comment.

  • It was really intense.

  • So can you repeat it?

  • AUDIENCE: So are we not choosing to be more aware?

  • GELONG THUBTEN: In meditation?

  • AUDIENCE: Yeah, in meditation.

  • Instead of-- OK, we're not choosing happiness,

  • but it's more like we're choosing

  • to be more aware of our different states of beings.

  • Thereby, we build up more control of--

  • either we are in this happy mode or this suffering mode,

  • yes or no?

  • Basically, our capability to zoom out

  • is built by the meditation.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: I don't know about control.

  • I don't know if we're controlling our mind states.

  • I think it's that we're learning to let go.

  • So it's a bit like traffic on a road.

  • You have cars going by.

  • Are you getting into the cars and going for drives,

  • or are you just letting the cars go by?

  • And then maybe you could choose to get

  • into the useful cars, the cars that

  • take you somewhere positive.

  • So it's about making choice.

  • I find the term "control" makes me think of something very

  • tight and rigid and repressive.

  • I'm talking about freedom and choice.

  • Does that make sense?

  • Cool.

  • Thank you.

  • 00:36:32,310 --> 00:36:34,230 AUDIENCE: Do you think that you're

  • more free if you control your own mind or more free

  • if the mind controls you?

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Well, let's dump this word "control."

  • I think you can be more free if you can

  • choose what your mind is doing.

  • Do you understand why I'm slightly

  • hesitant about the term "control?"

  • Because it sounds like you're making your mind very tense,

  • controlling what it does, pushing down

  • the negative thoughts and jumping

  • into the positive thoughts.

  • That, to me, feels very stressful.

  • Yeah?

  • So can we rephrase this and think more in terms of freedom?

  • And your question was are you choosing

  • or is the mind choosing you.

  • And like I started my talk today,

  • it really feels like stuff chooses us.

  • Suddenly, we're experiencing sadness, and we're thinking,

  • I didn't ask for this.

  • Where did this come from?

  • And then we think somebody put it in us.

  • We immediately point the finger.

  • Oh, it must be you.

  • Why am I feeling like this?

  • It must be you, or it must be this.

  • And so it feels like these mind states are invading or choosing

  • us, and sticking to us like glue.

  • And I think meditation is about changing it round so that you

  • are the one who is creating.

  • You are creating your thoughts and emotions,

  • and you are learning how to create the right ones

  • and just let go of the ones that harm you.

  • Thank you.

  • 00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:07,950 AUDIENCE: So I actually also have two questions.

  • For one, it's mindfulness--

  • we want to be present in this moment.

  • But I guess a lot of people here have days that we plan ahead.

  • We plan our next day.

  • We plan our next week, our year.

  • So how do you suggest we do this?

  • How do we plan, but we still stay mindful?

  • GELONG THUBTEN: So yeah, we do need to plan.

  • And it often sounds like a contradiction when

  • we say mindfulness is about being in the present moment,

  • and then, we've got to plan stuff.

  • Are we supposed to just live in the present all the time?

  • If you lived in the present all the time, you wouldn't eat.

  • You wouldn't plan-- you know what I mean?

  • You're planning your meal.

  • So again, it's to do with choice.

  • I think we plan obsessively.

  • We plan impulsively.

  • We plan in a way that becomes so habitual that we never

  • actually arrive.

  • Because when we get to the thing we planned,

  • we're busy planning the next thing.

  • So how about planning the choice?

  • How about choosing to plan, as and when

  • you need to plan, and then let go?

  • Make plans, do what you need to do, but let go of outcomes.

  • That would be a much healthier way

  • of making our plans actually succeed.

  • What was your second question?

  • AUDIENCE: So with this, you really

  • say that we just let go of the outcome,

  • like we don't judge it anymore.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: I think that's important, even

  • in worldly success.

  • If you want to be successful at work,

  • you've got to make a plan.

  • You've got to do what it takes to get there and let

  • go of outcomes.

  • Because otherwise, you're so actually fearful

  • that the outcome won't happen that it won't happen,

  • because you've created a sense of lack already in your mind.

  • AUDIENCE: The second one was more about emotions.

  • So we have this thought that we actually

  • need to let out our emotions.

  • So if I feel sad--

  • I don't know-- I need to cry to let it out.

  • So would you really say we need to do this?

  • Because this state of being aware of the feeling,

  • I feel like we make suppressive.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: So when we feel we need to let out our emotion,

  • it's because we see our emotion as something very solid,

  • and we need to somehow eject it.

  • You know what I mean?

  • We have to get it out, because otherwise it's

  • going to poison us.

  • It's so solid, and we have to--

  • almost like vomiting.

  • You know what I mean?

  • And so with meditation, you start

  • to understand the mind in a very different way, which is

  • that your emotions aren't real.

  • Your emotions aren't real.

  • They can come and go like clouds in the sky or waves

  • in the ocean.

  • So you don't need to suppress them.

  • You don't need to get them out.

  • You can just experience them and let them go.

  • 00:40:56,530 --> 00:40:59,080 So this is the training of meditation

  • which will help us to understand our mind

  • or experience our mind more in that way.

  • And then this whole notion of suppression or expression

  • starts to change.

  • You find that you can just be with the emotion

  • and not be too bothered by it.

  • AUDIENCE: I have one interconnected question

  • with you, maybe.

  • So I do meditate, and I'm far away from--

  • well, doing it the ideal way.

  • It's a journey.

  • I understood it's a journey.

  • But I try to think of ways to bring this to other people,

  • to encourage other people, or to hold my own meditation

  • session, maybe, one day.

  • Would you have any advice what to do,

  • or maybe what not to do, in order

  • to really encourage people who may be connected to that?

  • How would you-- it's maybe a difficult question to ask.

  • But I think many people connect meditation

  • to spirituality or religion, and they

  • might be disconnected from religion and spirituality

  • on an intellectual level.

  • So this might-- although it is so accessible-- you just

  • need to sit down-- it might be difficult for people

  • to get over that barrier.

  • Maybe you have any advice on how to encourage that more?

  • GELONG THUBTEN: OK.

  • So the first question around teaching others--

  • of course, it's really important to let

  • one's own practice mature before one teaches others--

  • mature to a certain degree, at least,

  • and also to have good instruction and guidance

  • from teachers so that you really are transmitting it

  • in the correct way.

  • I think that's really, really important.

  • There are obviously different levels of teacher.

  • I'm just an ordinary instructor.

  • I'm not an enlightened person who can give lessons

  • and all that kind of stuff.

  • I'm just an ordinary instructor.

  • But even for that, I've had to do

  • a certain amount of retreats, and training,

  • and be taught properly, and transmit according

  • to a correct procedure.

  • So it's important to get more training for yourself

  • before maybe passing it on to others.

  • But it's great to have that motivation, because you're

  • already seeing that this meditation journey isn't just

  • for you.

  • It's something you want to share.

  • Without preaching and trying to convert people,

  • it's just making it available.

  • I think that's really good.

  • And then sure, the second thing you mentioned

  • is around how people sometimes associate meditation

  • with religion, spirituality, Buddhism in particular.

  • It doesn't have to be.

  • And that's what this whole modern movement in mindfulness

  • is about--

  • where you're using meditation techniques in a completely

  • non-religious way.

  • And I think the neuroscience aspect is very helpful there.

  • If you explain to people some of the neuroscientific evidence

  • for meditation's efficiency, how it works,

  • that gets people to see it on a different level.

  • It doesn't have to be a religious experience.

  • To me, the boundaries between all of this are very blurred.

  • Because if you sit down and meditate,

  • if you're a Buddhist, if you're a mindfulness person, if you're

  • this or that, you're just sitting there with your mind.

  • I don't think there's any such thing as religious meditation.

  • Meditation is beyond religion.

  • It's you and your mind.

  • So these are constructs which I think

  • have to fall away eventually.

  • AUDIENCE: Thank you.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: OK.

  • AUDIENCE: Hi.

  • I'm Lucas, and my question will be very straightforward.

  • But before I ask it, I want to tell you

  • that I see many things that you've been talking

  • about that also relate to me.

  • Like I've been working--

  • I'm 34, and I've been working in big corporations for the last--

  • I don't know-- 12 years.

  • I've been working in sales, closing big deals,

  • earning good money, getting good paychecks.

  • And those moments were always a high for me.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: So are all of you, yeah?

  • AUDIENCE: They were always the high for me at the moment

  • when I was really excited and great.

  • And in the last year, I closed the biggest deal

  • of Google Cloud here in Dublin.

  • And it was another moment where I felt like, wow, I'm so great.

  • But since, I would say, three or four years,

  • I've been feeling that my mental and my physical health

  • was getting worse and worse.

  • And I've been having things like--

  • I was panting.

  • I was getting anxiety attacks, panic attacks.

  • I was going to doctors.

  • I was checking myself, doing MRIs,

  • doing cardio tests, everything, different doctors,

  • expecting the worst and never getting

  • the results that would say that something was really wrong.

  • And I was asking myself, what's the problem?

  • And some of the doctors were referring to me--

  • maybe it's time for you to focus on your mental state,

  • advising me to go to psychiatrists

  • who deal with those situations.

  • Because I realized, and I'm realizing right now,

  • that when I was on the high, then it was great,

  • but when there was a time when I not closing those deals

  • and getting big paychecks, I was feeling

  • like I was almost depressed.

  • And maybe it's an extreme case, but I

  • decided to leave Google because I

  • was just no longer able to find my state of balance

  • in the current situation.

  • Like you said, all these thoughts

  • the whole time running through my head,

  • and just being motivated by those things.

  • So I decided to leave.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Where you're at now

  • is to close a deal with your own mind, isn't it?

  • You're now working on the internal deal.

  • This whole idea of closing deals is a relationship, isn't it?

  • And if you can now use meditation

  • to connect with your mind and have more compassion

  • for yourself and others--

  • that's where you're at now, isn't it?

  • It's exciting, no?

  • AUDIENCE: At the moment, it's exciting.

  • It's a very scary moment, because I've been like a drug

  • addict for 12 years.

  • And now I'm trying to leave it, and all these things

  • are coming out from me.

  • But my question, actually, at the end

  • of this long introduction, is where should I start

  • if I would like to find maybe--

  • I don't know if I can call it a solution, but a help in things

  • like meditation, like becoming more aware of myself,

  • of my thoughts?

  • How can I start this journey?

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Start now.

  • Start now.

  • The journey starts now.

  • You just need to find a class.

  • There's classes here in Google.

  • You can attend a class here, and just learn some techniques,

  • and just do it.

  • It's very easy to learn, in a way.

  • You just learn the method, and then you start.

  • And really, let it be part of your daily life--

  • meditating every day, but also practicing

  • moments of mindfulness throughout the day.

  • Just start right now.

  • Make that deal.

  • AUDIENCE: So you wouldn't say there's one particular way of--

  • I don't know-- the yoga, meditation classes?

  • Whatever you choose is good?

  • Because you say it's here at Google.

  • So if I choose something outside Google--

  • GELONG THUBTEN: I think breathing

  • is a good place to start, mindful breathing, focusing

  • on the breathing.

  • You can learn that technique, and that's it.

  • It doesn't need much color or drama to it.

  • It's very simple.

  • Just try it.

  • It's exciting.

  • Thank you.

  • Who else?

  • 00:48:17,580 --> 00:48:18,680 AUDIENCE: Hello.

  • Before you came here, I googled you, of course,

  • to know who you were.

  • And I found an interesting article.

  • I just want to read it.

  • [INAUDIBLE] It says Buddhist monk returns to life

  • after four years in retreats.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Oh, yeah.

  • My past is coming back to haunt me.

  • AUDIENCE: I would like to know, can you explain us

  • how was these four years in retreat, and what you learned,

  • and the pros and cons, the difficulty it was,

  • and what you learned in yourself, how it was,

  • basically?

  • GELONG THUBTEN: So yeah.

  • I was in a four-year retreat from 2005 to 2009 on an island

  • off the coast of Scotland.

  • And it's a really intensive meditation training.

  • You have no contact with the outside world.

  • You have a letter from your family once a month.

  • So there's no internet, no Google, nothing.

  • And in fact, we had no electricity.

  • We had a generator which came on in the mornings and evenings.

  • And it's a very intensive program

  • of meditation sessions all day.

  • You're not doing anything else.

  • You have tea breaks and food, but you're just

  • doing long, long sessions of meditation.

  • And it's really intense.

  • And really, you learn a lot.

  • You meet your edge, and then you meet your edge,

  • and then you discover later on that there's another edge

  • that you also have to meet.

  • It never stops.

  • And I found it incredibly difficult,

  • but incredibly rewarding at the same time,

  • because it really helped me to become more--

  • kind of making friends with myself.

  • In Buddhism, we don't like the word "self,"

  • but in a different way.

  • You become more comfortable with who you are.

  • You learn to deal with your emotions differently.

  • I experienced a lot of very painful emotions

  • during that time, a lot of sadness and depression.

  • In fact, the first two years, I was severely depressed.

  • But then the meditation started to change

  • that in that I started to learn to have compassion

  • for that part of my mind.

  • And then it started to shift and change.

  • SPEAKER: And just jumping in, since you mentioned

  • for two years you were depressed,

  • what kept you going knowing that, OK, you're going

  • to get over this depression?

  • Or maybe after one year, you said--

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Oh, I definitely felt like, should I leave,

  • should I stop?

  • I can't take this anymore.

  • I suppose what keeps you going is there is

  • some kind of deep commitment.

  • And you know that I really trust the meditation

  • journey and the teachings.

  • There was never a point when I thought this stuff doesn't

  • work, or it's not good for me.

  • I knew it's good.

  • I just felt unable.

  • And so that's what kept me going.

  • And then eventually, through the help of my teachers

  • and then my own commitment, I was

  • able to connect with the practice,

  • and then things changed.

  • 00:51:16,590 --> 00:51:19,140 AUDIENCE: So overall, Googlers tend to be quite data-driven.

  • And I'm wondering about your opinion

  • about actually measuring happiness.

  • So most of the time, it's a scale out of 10,

  • so putting absolute numbers to such a subjective thing.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: I don't know about measuring happiness,

  • because then you start to grasp after results.

  • 00:51:35,610 --> 00:51:37,000 Yeah, we're all data-driven.

  • We're all in measures and evaluations.

  • And can we maybe take meditation and happiness away

  • from that world and have some time

  • when we're just not driven, and we can just let go and be?

  • I think that's crucial in a data-driven environment.

  • And that's what I've been talking about a lot

  • here when I'm doing these regular classes at Google,

  • is can we have some time when we just switch off all of that

  • and go into a sense of being.

  • I think that would be great.

  • And then go back to the data, but bringing the being with you

  • into the data.

  • Thank you.

  • SPEAKER: I'll just ask one last question

  • since you mentioned data and you mentioned

  • working with a neuroscientist on the book.

  • I was just wondering if you--

  • from a science perspective, what is the one thing

  • you learned about meditation from the neuroscientist that

  • was interesting from a scientific perspective?

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Yeah, it's been really interesting

  • working with Ash.

  • He's a neuroscientist.

  • So Ruby Wax, Ash Ranpura, and myself did this book together,

  • and it was an amazing conversation about the mind

  • and the heart and the brain.

  • And I learned a lot from Ash about--

  • well, OK, so what meditation does to your brain--

  • there's proof that it works-- but more interestingly,

  • this whole notion of creating habits and changing them.

  • He gave a really beautiful example

  • where he said the brain is a bit like a field,

  • a field with lots of grass.

  • And there's no path.

  • And one person walks and makes a path.

  • A second person walks and makes a path, a third person.

  • Eventually, that path-- the grass is flattened,

  • and there's a path, and you can easily go down it.

  • And he said that's what meditation does.

  • You're creating neural pathways that

  • become more and more natural, and that's

  • how you can be happy.

  • So I learned a lot from Ash, and from Ruby as well.

  • SPEAKER: Thanks for coming.

  • GELONG THUBTEN: Thank you.

00:00:05,928 --> 00:00:08,398 [APPLAUSE]

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ゲロントゥブテン。"幸福を選ぶ」|Googleで講演 (Gelong Thubten: "Choose Happiness" | Talks at Google)

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    Amy.Lin に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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