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  • Hey, it's Annemarie with Speak Confident

  • English and this is exactly where you want to be if your goal is to develop

  • the confidence that you need in English to say what you want,

  • and this week we're going to talk about how to master small talk in English.

  • Now I know a lot of us don't like small talk.

  • Honestly, I don't really like small talk either,

  • but it does play a really important role in English speaking culture and it

  • doesn't have to be really challenging or even really boring.

  • We're going to talk about three simple strategies that will help you have

  • effective small talk in English and get to know others.

  • So whether you're starting a new job and you want to get to know your coworkers?

  • Maybe someone that you've recently met at your gym or Yoga Studio invited you

  • to a party and you know that you're going to have to talk to a lot of new

  • people or maybe you're getting to know parents where your child goes to school.

  • In all of those situations, it's important to know what kinds of

  • questions you can ask and how to do it, so that's what we're going to focus on

  • in this week's Confident English lesson.

  • Now, of course,

  • when you meet someone for the very first time,

  • you start with an introduction and maybe you've had that moment where you've

  • introduced yourself and then

  • and then it's just really quiet. You're not really sure what to say.

  • You don't know what questions to ask and it just feels so uncomfortable.

  • That's what we want to avoid, so let's talk about why small talk is

  • important and how to do it effectively in English.

  • The truth is, small talk is polite but unimportant

  • conversation. We're not trying to change the world and

  • we're not making big decisions, but it does have a purpose.

  • It helps us make those first steps toward building a connection or a

  • relationship with someone. We can't get to know someone and we

  • can't build a real friendship or relationship if we don't know anything

  • about them and small talk helps us do that.

  • Small talk also helps fill the silence and if you're living in an English

  • speaking country or you're working in a business with a lot of English speakers,

  • you might notice that English speakers really don't like silence.

  • We do everything we can to avoid it, so to help us do that,

  • we use small talk. Now with the right tools and an

  • understanding of how small talk works. You'll be able to have small talk at a

  • job interview, when you meet new colleagues at work,

  • when you've got new neighbors, or you're meeting people at a party or

  • other parents at your child's school, almost any situation where you're

  • meeting someone new, you'll need to know how to effectively

  • do small talk. So now let's talk about three simple do

  • and don't rules for how to have effective and successful small talk in

  • English. Number one,

  • do talk about hobbies, interests,

  • families, movies,

  • TV shows, travel,

  • all those different things that we do in our free time.

  • Those are great topics for any small talk conversation.

  • Of course we have common questions like what did you do over the weekend or what

  • are you doing next weekend?

  • But we can make those questions a little bit more interesting.

  • For example, instead of asking someone,

  • what did you do last weekend? Ask them what their ideal weekend is.

  • Everybody loves to talk about the things that are their favorite,

  • how they would spend their time, if they could do anything they wanted.

  • So that's a great question to ask. How would you spend your ideal weekend?

  • Other great questions might be, what's a good movie that you've seen

  • recently? Or have you read any good books

  • recently? Just like we talked about how someone

  • would spend their ideal weekend, you could also ask someone about their

  • ideal holiday getaway or their ideal vacation.

  • If they could travel anywhere, where would they go?

  • That's a great question and you're using the conditional in English now for

  • several more options. You can visit the online lesson where I

  • have a great list of questions on all of these different topics.

  • Now I said that for small talk you should definitely ask about movies,

  • TV shows, vacation travel,

  • family, friends,

  • holiday plans, weekend plans,

  • but there are a couple of topics that you want to avoid.

  • Generally speaking, in small talk,

  • we don't talk about religion, politics,

  • or money. Those are big no's in small talk.

  • Rule number two is do ask about personal information.

  • In general, it's common when we're getting to know

  • someone to want to know about their family,

  • where they're from, what their traditions are,

  • what their life is like, so those are great questions to ask.

  • Whether someone is from another country or another city,

  • you can always ask them where they're from originally,

  • where they grew up, what was it like growing up where they

  • lived. You can also ask them about what they

  • love and their current neighborhood or city and an English speaking culture.

  • It is pretty common to talk about our jobs.

  • We actually seem to like talking about it quite a bit.

  • So you'll probably hear people ask you what do you do?

  • Which is another way of asking what is your job now?

  • To be honest with you, I do try to avoid what do you do?

  • I'm not always successful, but I try to have questions that are a

  • little bit more interesting. So instead of saying something like,

  • what do you do? I often ask the question,

  • what's something you're working on right now that you're really enjoying or

  • what's something interesting that you're working on right now?

  • We would definitely avoid things like asking about someone's divorce or why

  • they don't have kids to be honest. Those are just way too personal and they

  • might be really painful or emotional to talk about,

  • so it's best to stay focused on very general information and finally,

  • rule number three is specifically for that small talk that you have at work,

  • whether it's with clients, coworkers,

  • or even your boss.

  • It's definitely okay to talk about other things going on at work.

  • For example, you could ask about a project that

  • they're currently working on and how that project is going,

  • or again, my favorite question,

  • are you working on anything interesting right now?

  • If you're at a conference or traveling for work,

  • of course you could talk about the conference that you're at.

  • Maybe talk about a lecture or a presentation that you heard with someone

  • and you can focus on the highlights and the things that you've learned at that

  • conference. If you're traveling to another city,

  • you might ask some of your colleagues or peers about what recommendations they

  • have for where to eat or what to do while you're visiting their city.

  • Now, the key to successful small talk in

  • these workplace situations is to focus on the positive.

  • You don't want to speak negatively about your colleagues,

  • your peers, your boss,

  • your workplace that really isn't the appropriate time for that,

  • and with that you've got three super simple rules for how to successfully

  • have small talk in English.

  • Again, those rules were number one,

  • do talk about common interests such as sports,

  • hobbies, free time,

  • vacation, movies,

  • tv, all of that good stuff.

  • Number two, do ask questions related to personal

  • information in a general way, and number three at work,

  • do definitely ask about other things happening at work or things related to

  • business, travel,

  • conferences, events,

  • and so on. Now,

  • to end today's lesson, I do want to share my favorite small

  • talk question with you and a few other resources,

  • but before I do that, if you enjoyed this lesson and found it

  • useful to you, please be sure to let me know.

  • You can do that in just a few simple ways.

  • You can give this video a thumbs up on youtube and subscribe to this channel so

  • you never miss a lesson. You can also share this lesson on

  • facebook with friends and colleagues and you can leave your comment below by

  • answering one of my challenge questions.

  • You can leave your comments below the video or in the online lesson.

  • So first, my favorite small talk question is

  • what's something interesting that you've seen,

  • done, read or heard recently?

  • I don't always use all of those verbs. I usually pick one,

  • but it might be something like, so what's something interesting you've

  • done recently or what's something interesting you've read recently?

  • That's my go to question in almost any situation where I have to do small talk

  • and now I have to challenge questions for you.

  • Question number one is what is your favorite small top question?

  • It might be a question you always ask or maybe you've learned a new one from

  • today's lesson. I'd love to hear what your favorite

  • question is and you can share it with me in the comments section below.

  • And question number two, what is one tip that you have for

  • successful small talk in English? What has helped you to do it

  • well? Your tip and advice might be exactly

  • what someone else in the Confident English community needs,

  • so would love to have you share it, and again,

  • you can do that by sharing in the comment section just below this video.

  • Thank you so much for joining me this week.

  • I look forward to hearing from you in the comments and I'll see you next time

  • for your Confident English lesson.

Hey, it's Annemarie with Speak Confident

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3つのシンプルなルールで英語でスモールトークをマスターする方法 (How to Master Small Talk in English with 3 Simple Rules)

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    王鼎之 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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