But for real,

Back when I was a little bitch ass, spoiled brat kid,

I got my mom to buy me a $700.00 computer,

so that I could do homework for school.

But in real life, it was to play Half Life 2 immediately

The game floored me,

then I fell through the floor into hell,

And then I said, "dang, that's one helluva game."

But fps games are like milk you know,

one day you go to the store

*smacks lips* get some milk you're like

"Mmm. *smacks lips* - that's some good ass milk!

And then uhh, 2 weeks later you drink the same milk,

And you go, wait a minute,

"this milk sucks BALLS!"

So I gotta give this a 1 out of 5 -

it's the worst game -

but Gman's face does have good graphics though,

so I give it a 2 out of 5, it's the, terrible ga-

but for real.

The Source engine has already consumed

a major chunk of my life -

I mean you got your Counter Strike Source,

Team Fortress 2,

Left for Dead Source

uhh, Portal 2,

uhh, Doom 2,

uhh, League of Legends,

uhh, Mass Effect 2,

uhh, Half Life 2 - oh.

None of those games would have been possible,

if it wasn't for this super ambitious title,

but,

Half Life 2 doesn't really stand up on its own -

it's a magic combination of generic weapons,

braindead AI,

and really boring puzzles.

Even on the hardest difficulty, the firefights are just

repetitive and uninvolving,

it's, so easy -

that was, that was the hardest difficulty right there,

I just shot those 2 guys.

Oh, my favorite part of the game,

here we go again.

Alright.

I just love it when she talks to you

for 3 hours,

and you can't skip it.

This actually summarizes

my feelings on the game,

all the guns are just,

completely ineffective.

This complete shitfest is totally redeemed though,

by the uplifting ending,

where, uh, Alyx is gunned down.