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I want to share some of my favorite
"Why I'm Single" stories from you guys. Here we go.
This first one is from @wickedclos.
He says, "I order my food at the drive-thru with my regular voice,
then pretend I have a passenger and use another voice so they don't think it's all for one person.
Can I get a Big Mac?
[ Southern accent ] Yeah, and two cheeseburgers!
And two cheeseburgers.
[ Southern accent ] Super-size that thing, man!
Can you super-size --
Hey, let me order, all right?
What happens when they pull up, though?
Where's the other dude?
This one's from @KatyDombroski.
She says, "I tried flirting with a guy by saying his smile was nice.
He said he got it from his mom. I replied," Your mom must be hot then."
-Blblblblbl! -What?
This one from Avi Abrahamsen.
He says, "The last time I was leaving a restaurant, the hostess said, "Enjoy your night,"
and I said, "Love you too!"
This one's from @NicoleAsselin1.
She says, "Whenever I wear ripped jeans, I only shave the patches of leg hair that will be exposed.
That's good spatial awareness.
Those are very hairy knees.
This one's from @KSchafheimer.
She says, "Last night, I punched myself in the face with both hands trying to take my quilt out of the dryer.
That's cute. That's cute.
I don't think -- You shouldn't be single for that.
This one's from @demaskingtape.
De-masking, Am I missing something?
-No. Masking tape. De-masking?
I know masking tape. De-masking?
Is that, like, to de-mask?
-De-mask somebody? -"Phantom of the Opera" thing?
Hey, how did he get that mask, the phantom of the opera?
He made it.
-So he like -- Did he smelt it or something?
Got his face burned with acid or whatever,
and then he made that mask.
Does he start with a balloon?
I think he starts with a balloon.
And then you use already-read --
yesterday's newspaper. -Right.
Some flour, water.
-Or, he uses plaster of Paris.
'Cause that's where he is.
He does that on there. -That's true, yeah. Yeah.
So, there, they call it...
-That's correct.
And so the phantom makes the thing, and he cuts it out.
Finds the eye hole.
-You know. -Right.
So he can see.
The music and the movement of the plaster of Paris mask
But why --
Is this part of his face that good?
Like, why not just do -- you know.
Like, one of those -- a regular mask.
I'm still the phantom of the opera.
-Right. -I look cooler than --
Who wears a one-sided mask?
A dude with one side of his face missing.
One side of his face? I never saw the play.
Apparently this side of the face got --
One side of his face is missing?
Yeah, it got burnt or something.
Doesn't mean it's missing.
There was a fire at the Paris Opera House,
and he's ashamed of it.
There was a fire at his parents' house,
so he moved into the subway? -No, no, no.
The Paris Opera House...
-Oh, the Paris Opera House. -...not his parents' house.
Oh, I thought you said a fire at his parents house.
I think I've seen it.
I love "Phantom of the Opera" and Andrew Lloyd Webber.
This is from
That's an Andrew Lloyd Webber joint, isn't it?
This one is from demaskingtape.
Oh! Like the phantom.
-You're saying that the phantom
She says, "I once ate a dog biscuit on accident, and then again on purpose because it tasted just like a Mini Muffin.
Don't eat dog biscuits.
That is ruff.
This one is from @MetalFanInBlack.
He says, "I'm single because I'd probably have to update my wardrobe.
Look at this picture.
Oh, my goodness.
I want to thank Simon Cowell for sending in that --
Or the phantom.
Or the phantom of the opera wears the black.
What happened at the end
of "Phantom of the Opera?"
Do they get married?
I think he burns alive, doesn't he?
That's just a guess. That's just a guess.
Does he really? Have you seen it?
-Me? -Yeah.
-No one in this -- No one's seen "Phantom of the Opera?"
Wait, Stro says he saw it.
-What happened? -What happens at the end?
I don't remember.
Why would you even say that you saw?
This last one -- -Oh, thank God.
The last one is -- "I saw it, I saw it.
I don't remember anything.
This last one's from U.S. ski team member, Lindsey Vonn,
our pal!
She played the hashtag game, "Why I'm Single."
She said, "I'm single because I only have
eyes for the Olympics."
"Also, where's my pep talk, coach?"
Oh, I did promise her.
I promised Lindsey I would do a pep talk before the Olympics.
So, they start tomorrow.
Do you guys mind if I give Team USA a little pep talk?
All right. Give me. Give me my onesie.
Here we go. All right.
I've got to put my onesie on here.
Quest, can I get a drumroll?
Got to get my rat tail.
Hey, team USA.
Do it!
Just do it!
You're going to the Olympics! I need you to ski!
Bronze did it, silver did it.
So do it! Be the gold!
Ski down the hill! Speed skate!
Triple Lutz!
Sweep the ice! Curl!
You're the best, so be the best, and beat the best!
Do it!
Good luck to all the athletes
competing in the Winter Games next week.



Hashtags: #WhyImSingle

539 タグ追加 保存
Evangeline 2018 年 10 月 22 日 に公開
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