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  • Hello Believe Nation, it's Evan.

  • My own word is believe and I believe in people

  • more than they believe in themselves

  • and my sincere hope is that if you believe in yourself

  • as much as I believe in you,

  • you'll be able to change the planet.

  • So to help you on your journey, today I'm doing a video

  • on the 10 skills that are hard to learn

  • but will pay off forever.

  • And as always guys, if you're watching,

  • if you hear something that really resonates with you,

  • leave it down in the comments below,

  • it's much more likely to stick with yourself

  • and if you leave a comment within the first few hours

  • of the video going live, you have a chance to win

  • one of two daily prizes. Enjoy!

  • Skill number one is speaking up.

  • One of the things you would want to be sure to do

  • is whether you like it or not,

  • get very comfortable, it may take awhile,

  • with public speaking for example.

  • I mean, that's an asset that will last you 50 or 60 years

  • and it's a liability if you don't like doing it

  • or are uncomfortable doing it that will also last you

  • 50 or 60 years and it's a necessary skill.

  • Skill number two is being honest with yourself.

  • One of the big things that all startups do is they lie

  • to themselves, over and over and over.

  • Mine's faster, mine's cheaper, mine's better,

  • mine's this, mine's that.

  • No it's not and the reason it's not is because

  • whoever it is you're competing with,

  • it's not like they're ignoring you.

  • It's not like, oh my goodness,

  • this guy just started on Shopify in the startup competition

  • and he's doing a million dollars this year,

  • woe is me, I might as well close up the doors.

  • What are they doing?

  • I'm going to copy what they're doing and now you've got to

  • stay ahead and so, you know, you've got to be

  • very careful as a entrepreneur to be brutally honest

  • with yourself and those are some of the things

  • that you'll hear from me as a mentor.

  • That know what you know, know what you don't know,

  • but you got to know your business better than anybody.

  • Skill number three is having confidence.

  • I don't know if you'd agree with me on this,

  • but in many ways, one of the key factors

  • to legendary success isn't your natural ability.

  • It's not whether you have the right product,

  • it's not whether you're in the right field,

  • it's not whether you've had a blessed background.

  • It's not whether you have the right IQ.

  • I want you to really think about and deconstruct

  • and play with maybe later tonight in your journal.

  • I want you to deconstruct this idea of confidence

  • and it seems like a very simple work but just think about

  • it in your own life.

  • When you have confidence or we could even call it fire,

  • when you have that fire within you, that confidence,

  • that interior bravery,

  • you almost have this power to do whatever it takes

  • to get your brave vision done.

  • You see, in this world, it's not about, in many ways,

  • your strategy and your business or your ability

  • in your life, it's about this thing called confidence

  • and we've all had these times in our lives when we are

  • full of confidence and what other people see as a problem,

  • we simply do see as an opportunity.

  • Other people see it as a stumbling block or a wall

  • and we see it as a stepping stone or this solution.

  • So confidence is simply something that you really

  • want to wire in.

  • Confidence is something you really want to develop,

  • confidence is a practice, confidence is a muscle

  • and like any muscle, the more you focus on it

  • and practice it and train it, the stronger your confidence

  • is going to grow and I just have to say it again.

  • When you are at a place in your life,

  • when there is ongoing, steady stream of confidence

  • moving through your mindset, moving though your heartset,

  • you do the heroic in your business

  • and you achieve the remarkable in your life.

  • Skill number four is listening.

  • Nelson Mandela is a particularly special case study

  • in the leadership world because he is universally regarded

  • as a great leader.

  • You can take other personalities and depending on the nation

  • you go to, we have different opinions about other

  • personalities but Nelson Mandela, across the world,

  • is universally regarded as a great leader.

  • He was actually the son of a tribal chief

  • and he was asked one day,

  • how did you learn to be a great leader?

  • And he responded that he would go with his father

  • to tribal meetings and he remembers two things

  • when his father would meet with other elders.

  • One, they would always sit in a circle

  • and two, his father was always the last to speak.

  • You will be told your whole life that you need

  • to learn to listen.

  • I would say that you need to learn to be the last to speak.

  • I see it in board rooms every day of the week.

  • Even people who consider themselves good leaders who may

  • actually be decent leaders will walk into a room and say,

  • here's the problem, here's what I think,

  • but I'm interested in your opinion,

  • let's go around the room.

  • It's too late.

  • The skill to hold your opinions to yourself until

  • everyone has spoken does two things.

  • One, it gives everybody else the feeling

  • that they have been heard.

  • It gives everyone else the ability to feel

  • that they have contributed.

  • And two, you get the benefit of hearing what everybody

  • else has to think before you render your opinion.

  • The skill is really to keep your opinions to yourself.

  • If you agree with somebody, don't nod yes.

  • If you disagree with somebody, don't nod no.

  • Simply sit there, take it all in, and the only thing

  • you're allowed to do is ask questions so that you can

  • understand what they mean and why they have the opinion

  • that they have, you must understand from where they

  • are speaking, why they have the opinion they have,

  • not just what they are saying

  • and at the end, you will get your turn.

  • It sounds easy, it's not.

  • Practice being the last to speak.

  • That's what Nelson Mandela did.

  • Skill number five is managing your time.

  • My challenge in our generation is that gradually

  • through entertainment, through television, through media,

  • through every way possible, we are living in a

  • generation of the dumbing down of ideas

  • because we have traded effectiveness for busyness.

  • Statistics say, yeah somebody ought to clap on that.

  • We are busier than any other generation we have seen

  • in the last three to 400 years.

  • We are so busy, we are busier than a one armed

  • wallpaper hanger, we're just busy, you'll get it later,

  • don't worry about it, it'll hit you in a minute.

  • We are just as busy as we can be and we think

  • because we're busy, we're effective.

  • But I want you to challenge your schedule for a minute

  • and ask yourself, are you really being effective

  • or is your life cluttered with all kinds of stuff

  • that demands you and drains you and taxes you

  • and stops you from being your highest and best self

  • and are you substituting busyness and all the chaos

  • that goes along with busyness from being effective?

  • Let me tell you, a bunch of scientists got together,

  • they begin to do some research and they begin to determine

  • that 80% of the things we do are busy things that we do

  • in an area that is not effective, that the average person

  • only spends 20% of their time doing the thing that they

  • are really gifted, creative at, passionate about,

  • excited to do and the rest of it is all the dismal,

  • dumb stuff that we all have to do in order to survive.

  • Just crazy stuff that we're doing.

  • Wonder what would happen if we would go from doing

  • 80% of things that are busy but not effective

  • and 20% of the things that are really effective,

  • if we would switch those numbers around and only give

  • 20% of our time to the things that we have to do

  • and 80% of our time to thing that we were

  • created to do.

  • (audience applause)

  • Wonder what would happen to your life.

  • Now think about it a minute, there's a lot of things

  • you could take from me and I could make it.

  • You could take my suit, I got another one.

  • You could take my car, I could get another one.

  • You could take my house, I could get another house.

  • But when you take my time, you have taken something from me

  • that is totally irreplaceable.

  • We take all kinds of questions from money management.

  • We know how to manage our money, we know how to repair

  • our houses, we're working on our hair and our bodies

  • and all of this kind of stuff.

  • We do everything except the most important thing

  • is to value our time.

  • It takes time to be creative.

  • You were meant to be creative.

  • You were created in the likeness and the image

  • of a creator and in that likeness and in that image,

  • you have creativity.

  • If you had time, you would be creative

  • but in the absence of time and with busyness

  • and clutter the ring ring ring, the phone ring,

  • beep, beep, beep.

  • You all got music playing on your phone, all kinds of stuff.

  • No matter kind of song you put on,

  • after awhile you hate to hear it because every time

  • you hear that sound you know it's somebody else

  • wanting something else from you that's taking you away

  • from what you are gifted and created to do.

  • Skill number six is stop whining.

  • So I have this thing that I've been promoting called

  • No Whining Wednesdays.

  • Wednesday you cannot whine, complain, or criticize.

  • And people are like, well what is whining?

  • Whatever you think it is, don't do it.

  • And every time you do it,

  • you have to put a quarter in a jar.

  • If you whine about anything, I can't, I'm tired,

  • why me, why don't you?

  • Every one of them will cost you a quarter.

  • Or complaining, why don't you, why do you always,

  • how come you, I am always, they never.

  • Oop, cost you a quarter.

  • Then last week, I had people send me pictures of their

  • jars of quarters.

  • Oh my god. (laughs)

  • What they said to me also was, this was wonderful

  • because I was never, ever aware of how much whining

  • and complaining and criticizing I do.

  • I've got mothers doing it with their children.

  • So Wednesday is No Whining Wednesday.

  • We need to practice that.

  • We need to stop whining about what isn't happening,

  • what we don't have, what we can't do,

  • what somebody didn't do.

  • We got to get it clean in 2014.

  • No whining, no complaining, no criticizing.

  • Skill number seven is staying present in the moment.

  • Skill number eight, being consistent.

  • Success is not a destination.

  • People always think that oh my god, this person's

  • so successful because they've had a successful movie

  • or a successful show but success is a journey.

  • You have to consistently always, always be successful.

  • That's when you're really successful because otherwise

  • you'll be remembered for your last failure

  • and I've had a few but I just have to compensate for

  • my failure by just getting up and running.

  • The more time you take to sort of mourn it,

  • you're wasting that much more time in being successful.

  • So you just have to perk up, pick yourself up,

  • dust yourself off and just say what can I do?

  • There's always a solution.

  • You can't expect, people always get mistaken that

  • just because this year has been what it has been,

  • it's been because I consistently worked hard

  • for about 10 years.

  • So now, I know my job enough to be able

  • to be appreciated for it.

  • But if I hadn't had the last 10 years,

  • I would never have had this year or the year before that.

  • So success is not a destination where you,

  • or power is not like okay today you're powerful.

  • You have to consistently be powerful

  • and consistently be successful and that is a journey.

  • Skill number nine is getting enough sleep.

  • Well, first of all, I prioritize sleep.

  • That means saying no to things you want to do.

  • It's not easy.

  • - [Interviewer] No, it's hard, I think the hardest thing.

  • - Last night, you know, Sheryl Sandberg interviewed me

  • at the San Fran Symphony Hall and then I had to sign books

  • and I would have loved to go and have dinner with her

  • but I went to bed.

  • You know, because if I had gone out to dinner

  • and hadn't gotten my at least seven hours sleep that I need

  • and had to get up early to do TV,

  • I would not be enjoying being here with you now

  • and I'm really enjoying it and I'm 100% present

  • and I'm not tired and I hate being tired more than

  • I hate anything.

  • And skill number 10 is having empathy.

  • I've thought a lot about the power of empathy.

  • In my work, it's the current that connects me

  • and my actual pulse to a fictional character

  • in a made up story, it allows me to feel pretend feelings

  • and sorrows and imagined pain.

  • In my nervous system is sympathetically wired

  • and it conducts that current to you

  • sitting in a movie theater

  • and to the woman sitting next to you

  • and to her friend so that we all feel that it's happening

  • to us at the same time.

  • It's a very mysterious and valuable resource

  • of the human species

  • and women, I think, access it most effortlessly.

  • We cry at sad movies, we don't feel we lose face

  • or stature or position doing it.

  • We see a news story that enrages us and we write letters

  • through tears, our hearts pounding.

  • I often used to wonder why human beings developed these

  • inconvenient and embarrassing responses,

  • this sniffling, choking, wet obstruction.

  • You know, the thing physicians and soldiers and

  • stock traders and journalists and fashion models

  • and politicians and news commentators

  • and venture capitalists all must suppress in order

  • to work most efficiently.

  • (audience laughing)

  • I thought what possible value, function could it serve

  • in the Darwinian scheme of you know,

  • survival of the fittest and the strongest

  • and the most heavily armed.

  • (audience laughing)

  • No seriously, I thought why and how did we evolve

  • with this weak and useless passion in tact

  • within the deep heart's core.

  • And the answer as I've formulated it to myself

  • is that empathy is the engine

  • that powers all the best in us.

  • It is what civilizes us.

  • It is what connects us.

  • - Thank you guys so much for watching.

  • I hope you enjoyed.

  • I'd love to know what did you think of this video?

  • What did you take from it that you're going to apply

  • immediately somehow to your life or to your business?

  • What was your favorite from the 10

  • and how you're going to apply?

  • Leave it down on the comments below,

  • I'm really curious to find out.

  • Also if you think there's 11, 12, 13 that you want to

  • add to the list, leave it down on the comments.

  • I'm super curious to see what you have to say.

  • Thank you guys again for watching, I believe in you.

  • I hope you continue to believe in yourself

  • and whatever your one word is.

  • Much love, I'll see you soon.

Hello Believe Nation, it's Evan.

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学ぶのは難しいが、永遠に報われる10のスキル! (10 SKILLS That Are HARD to Learn, BUT Will Pay Off FOREVER!)

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