sepparation anxiety when we were kids. Whether it would be

your parents dropping you off at school

or having your favorite stuffed animal taken away from you.

We only got a sense of relief when the person

or thing that was taken away is brought back. This

is the beginning of attachment theory. The sepparation

anxiety can continue into adulthood

like when you get anxious about having your cell phone taken away.

But why do humans behave like this?

Psychologists have labeled the reason behind these

early childhood anxieties as attachment

and have explored human connection through parent - child bonding.

Daniel Goleman states that attachment provides the

glue that keeps not just a couple but a family

together and caregiving as the impulse to look

after offspring so our children can grow up to

have their own. The early stages of childhood

are the most crucial in development.

This time in a child's life is when they have experiences

that shape how we relate to other people.

Having a healthy relationship with the child's parents

is key in his development.

It is hard in some families though for the child to

get a sense of attachment to their mother. There are a few

reasons for this: sometimes the mother has Post Partum

Depression and withdrawals from the baby or

there's a lack of resources that makes the family

less ready to focus on building an attachment.

A study done by Mary Ainsworth called ''Strange

Situations'' in which she put a parent

and a child between the ages of 9 to 18 months

in a room.

She would then bring in a stranger.

While the child was preoccupied with the stranger

the parent would leave. Afterwards the child would

react to the missing parent and said parent would come back.

Ainsworth hiked 3 types of attachement -

secure, anxious-avoidant attachment

and anxious-ambivalent attachment.

A fourth type of attachment was introduced later on

by Ainswroth's colleague Mary Main.

She brought on the disorganized, disoriented

attachment. This is when

a child avoids their parent or caregiver but is

also clingy. When the parent or caregiver leaves

and comes back the child looks dazed and disoriented.

Our attachment style with our parents

or caregivers growing up plays a huge

role in how we live our lives today. What do you

think your attachment style is? Don't forget to like

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