Too loud noise bro. Why so loud?

What the hell are you?

What do I look like to you?

I don't know.

Look at the shoes?

Look at the ears.

I don't know an... an elf?

Yes genius an elf.

What's wrong with the elves around here, man?

Aren't elves supposed to be like happy and jolly?

Jolly.

What?

Do you know how many hours I work a day?

Nope.

28!

That doesn't... that doesn't make any sense

Exactly.

I don't understand.

Guess how much they pay me.

No, I don't know how much you're paid.

Nothing, bro

They pay me in candy canes

Eight candy canes and how?

Look man, I can't be that bad you get to wear like a fun comfortable

costume all day...

I can't feel my balls in the soup. Feeling bro.

No, bro. No!

Oh my god.

I haven't washed this shit in 4 years

Alright. Okay, that's a personal choice. I'm just-

You know how cheap Santa is?

Bro, at least your girl didn't just leave you for some...

No, you had a girl

Yeah-

Last time I made love was with that reindeer over there.

Bro, at least some guy didn't steal your phone out of nowhere

What do you think made that phone? Who?

I don't know. Someone in China?

Yeah, that's probably true

Probably, I mean they make everything right

Okay... Okay, you're probably right about that

But they say an easy bro.

Please man, I gotta get out of here.

I just... How do I get out of here?

Are you sure you want to leave?

Yes, please. I just... I don't want any trouble.

The keys.

What keys?

*Sigh*

The keys.

Am I supposed to play the keys?

Yeah.

No

Can't you play something good like some Tupac or Biggie or something like that?

I don't know any Tupac or Biggie man. How's this?

Did you hear that?

Yeah, she's calling you.

B-But you don't have to go.You could chill here you know?

I'm gonna go

Just chill. Just-

Look man. It's good to meet you.

Ah! I made a new friend today really

All right good luck, bro

Okay.

Good luck.

Okay. Leave me

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