it's more fun to be a character

than just like, regular old lady getting (bleep).

Like, if it's better to be Princess Leia getting (bleep).

- I dunno.

(orchestral music)

- I am a huge Star Wars fan.

I only had like, three VHS' growing up as a kid,

and it was A New Hope,

Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi.

- My favorite movie scene of all time

is when Han Solo gets frozen.

- I'm a Star Wars fan.

- I certainly don't know the names of any ships,

other than the Millennium Falcon and the X-Wing.

- I consider myself a family-oriented fan,

because my brother and my dad

made me watch it like, every year.

- I see we're already on Incognito Mode.

- Stella Cox Force Awakens,

Triple X Parody, (disgusted noise)

Star Wars Porn Anal.

- Classic interrogation scene from Episode Seven.

- Mind controls the Stormtrooper to drop his gun,

who is played by Daniel Craig.

- Correct lines. - You will put down

your weapon, and remove my restraints.

- She's been unrestrained,

and now she's just withdrawn a breast.

- Ohh! - Ooh!

- You will touch my breast.

She's making him do things. - With mind control!

- Oh, he's taking off his helmet.

- He's a Stormtrooper.

- Daniel Craig kinda look-alike.

- Yeah, a little bit.

- Wow, that is a very big penis.

- Yes. - Woo!

- I think we've lost the fact that she was just a prisoner.

Like, she needs to get outta there.

- It's not fun. - No, I think that's it.

- It took out the fun of Star Wars.

- That's why people go back to Star Wars, is the story.

- Oh, and the whizz-bang effects.

- They've replaced both those things

with the Stormtrooper's penis.

- It was not as subtle and plot-driven as I'd expected.

- Star Wars Parody

With Red Monster Freak Babe Gettin' (bleep).

- A red Twi'lek.

- I'm intrigued, 'cause there seems to be two men.

Oh, maybe this'll be, like, some gay Star Wars porn.

- Oh my God, a dope-ass lightsaber battle, though!

- But I'm invested in this story,

and like, how do they go

from this fight to (bleep) each other?

- Now she just literally murdered Anakin.

- Ohh! - Ohh!

- He used the force to take off her bra.

- Oh, his sleeve just got torn off.

- Oh, she's ripping off his clothes with the force!

- [Man] That's pretty neat.

- This force, man,

it really gets you what you need.

- Ooh! - Ohh!

Has the stiletto on the guy's chest,

and then, bow,

ol' girl just drops on his face.

- And she has just killed his friend.

- They've really come together.

Maybe they will at the end, too.

(both laugh)

- They started with a two-and-a-half minute fight,

with no sex at all,

and it was just like, really cool to watch.

- You felt a little bit more in the world of Star Wars.

- They seemed less interested in the sex, to be honest.

- Porn Wars, Star Wars Amateur Porn.

(bleep) by Darth Vader.

- Oh boy!

- So this is a classic.

- So, we have the traditional scroll.

Oh, is this a German version?

- Ohh!

- This looks like... - Oh, my good--

- Oh, this is a green screen. - Okay, green screen.

- Darth Vader's not wearing any gloves,

and that's Princess Leia, who remember,

is Darth Vader's daughter.

- This one, out of all of them,

has the worst production value.

Like, Princess Leia, you did that hair yourself, girl!

(gleeful screaming and laughing)

- And his (bleep) comes out!

(girl laughing)

No one wears underwear here!

What is going on? - Oh my God.

- I like he has a flap for his (bleep), too.

(girl laughs)

There's like a Darth Vader flap.

- Force blowjob.

He looks like he's deejaying a concert,

'cause he's just going like this.

- And then it's like (imitates Darth Vader moaning).

- And now she's on all hands and knees,

staring into the camera, with her butt in the air.

- He's got the lightsaber.

- Oh my God, is he gonna spank her with that?

- Please spank her with that.

Oh, that sounds gross.

- He's not gonna put his lightsaber up her butt, is he?

(girl screams)

- No!

I can't watch this!

I won't watch this.

- Ohh! (laughs)

- He's killing her.

She's dead.

He just put his lightsaber in her rectum,

and she's dead.

- Too much! - Her butthole would fall off!

That's like, you know how like, hot lightsabers are?

They like, cut through arms!

Like, you can't just put it in a butthole, and it's fine!

- Also, it's very strange,

'cause it's very long, so he's just like...

- He's very far away.

(laughs)

- This is quite weird.

(groovy music)

I think that made me a little sad,

was that none of them were real fans of Star Wars.

- Nobody looked like they were really having a good time.

Actually, the red lady seemed like she was having fun.

- Red lady took control of the situation,

and really made the best of it.

- I don't feel good.

- I was just disappointed that no one like,

painted their penises like lightsabers.

I thought that was gonna be a thing.

I mean, if my wife was like,

"Hey, put that Stormtrooper suit on,"

I'm like, "Let's do the damn thing."

- Oh, there's a Kill Bill porn?

That looks great.

(lively techno music)