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  • Hello, everybody my name is Markiplier!

  • Have you ever been working one day and you wanted to look up gratuitous amounts of porn?

  • Well now you can simulate it because

  • what is give video games but the thing that can make you sim--

  • Hang on! I gotta put on my smartness ***** and *****

  • Let me just, pull off my old ****

  • OW! My ***** and ****!

  • No, don't... that's not a good joke...

  • Oh, yes. Hello, hi.

  • How's it going?

  • Have you ever been working at an office and one day you wanted to--

  • look up porn?

  • What?

  • Hi.

  • How's it goin'?

  • It's me.

  • Markiplier.

  • Welcome to this game.

  • Where am I going?

  • Away from this bullshit video!

  • Haha! Goodbye!

  • God, this is the worst intro I've ever done....

  • Ignore all the insanity you just saw...

  • Welcome to "NSFW!"

  • A game where you simulate, working.....While not working.

  • Because not working involves looking up porn.

  • So that's exactly what we're gonna do, and -- what the hell is the "fun scale?"

  • *Grumbles* I don't know what any of that means...

  • What is this? Oooooh!

  • Equipped? What does that mean that I've got it equipped?

  • And what is that? A dick flask? And why does it got a plus sign by it, what does that mean?

  • "Use"

  • I can't use it!

  • Email "Welc - " OH a tu-tu-turorial! I'll do this.

  • "Welcome to 'Ndrey, Sudim, Flare and Wida' Creative Agency.

  • For your first day with us, please finish all of your training videos."

  • * Seductive Laughter *

  • Oh, I'll finish all of my training videos, alright.

  • "You can do it! Start to be healthy and trust me you can manage the stress in your life. Your only friend, Marcell"

  • Thanks! As a proud Stefan, I really need that support.

  • "How to use Cherry"

  • "Cherry is just like any other computer. Click to get that and click to get this"

  • Thank IT Department! Go suck ten dicks!

  • Which is what I'm about to watch!

  • *Computer mumbling, footsteps*

  • Right click to work or have fun?

  • * Porn Music *

  • *grunts seductively* Oh!

  • *Porn music continues *

  • *Grunts* Ohhh!

  • *Footsteps*

  • Wh-? Ah, oop-

  • *Singing* Ah ha, working here! Doing work! Looking at work!

  • Don't mind my pants being off!

  • *Music continues* Ah!

  • *Singing* Hey! Doing work! Love to work! My work is...

  • * Music continues, Guy walks in *

  • *Alarm* (Panic ) AH! OH GOD

  • "We have received a substantial evidence that you have had done unethical act in the company. We hereby declare you 'fired'

  • Not with love, HR Department"

  • Well, I can't-

  • I can't goddamn hear them coming down the street!

  • Everyone can hear ME cumming down the street!

  • But they - I can't hear THEM

  • 'Cause too much porn noise.

  • Alright.

  • Let's do it!

  • * Computer mumbling *

  • Uh huh.

  • * Computer mumbling *

  • (Porn music)

  • *Pervy voice* Oh yeah, that's the stuff...

  • Agh!

  • *Singing* A-oh, I'm doing work! Doing work!

  • Look at you! You're not working. You should do some work. (Music continues)

  • Ah! Uh, wait...

  • (Footsteps) Is that him walking away, or is that him coming back?

  • Because I'm not 100% sure what's what.

  • (Music continues)

  • *Pervy voice* Yeah...

  • Heeeeeeeeeey!

  • Salutations, fellow employee, I've been doing a proje... *Growls*

  • Ah!

  • Okay, that was just him walking away.

  • Yeah!

  • Heh

  • Yeah!

  • Ha, I had a lot of fun!

  • Fifty-fifty split on work and fun!

  • *Awkward Laugher *

  • *Quietly* What's the point of this?

  • "Hundred and twenty-four SGD."

  • I don't know what that means. (Singapore dollars?)

  • Whooo!

  • *Laughs* I will spend all my hard earned money on buying more porn! :D

  • Click the heart? What does that mean?

  • Alright, "SGD Pizza"

  • "Good Pizza"

  • "Shades of Lo-" Ohh. Oh. Whew, woah, WOAH!

  • Hey "Shades of Love!"

  • Oh!

  • Oh, we're gonna get some good pizza!

  • Oh, hell yeah.

  • Okay. "Avoid it."

  • "Let's do it, you can avoid it. Do not repeat your 'old habit.' Your trusty friend, Emily"

  • Hey! I got a new friend!

  • Suck on that, Marcel! Eat a dick!

  • Emily's the new cool one.

  • Alright, "Dear Stefan, I need you to color the cow I sketched. It is for the strong pill ads. -- Laoshi." Okay!

  • Ah. yes.

  • (Porn music) I'll color it, alright...

  • (Male electronic voice) Oh. Oh baby.

  • (Female electronic voice) Yeah.

  • Ah! Hey!

  • Don't mind the moans! Heh, so many moans in here!

  • (Music resumes) (Pervy voice) Yeah... look at those moans! Want some pizza, lady?

  • (Female e-voice) I want pizza! *Mark* Oh you know you do!

  • (Female e-voice) Unf. *Mark* Oh, hell yeah!

  • (Male e-voice moaning) (Female e-voice) Oh, baby. *Mark* WOAH! OHH!

  • (Footsteps) Ahh!

  • Okay! I... Wow!

  • I did not know that that was gonna be the thing that that was.

  • (Music resumes) Oh look at that, that's nice.

  • * Vocalizes "Stars and Stripes Forever" *

  • *Singing* Go fuck yourself and go away, I'm looking at more porn!

  • (Music resumes)

  • (Male e-voice) Oh, baby. *Mark* Yeah.

  • (Male e-voice) Oh.

  • (Female e-voice) Oh. (Male e-voice) Yeah (x3) *Mark* Hells yeah.

  • Hell yeah.

  • Heh. Hellllll yeah!

  • I upgraded my, uh, my porn-lookin'.

  • Alright, I gotta do this again. But this time, I gotta get way more of the porn-ness.

  • "Stefan, I hoped you are staying strong. I know that you can stick to the plan. Your strict friend, Icha."

  • Well! Why don't ya "Icha" my balls! *Laughs*

  • Okay, I'm sorry. That was a bad one.

  • *Chuckling* Every- that was the-

  • Every other joke I made this "Let's Play" was great!

  • THAT one was bad!

  • I'm sorry, THAT crossed the line!

  • *Laughs* I- I- I

  • I have failed you guys.

  • Ok...

  • I apologize

  • "Dear Mr. Liam, I was asked to team up with you for this project. Can you check the budget? -- Sora"

  • Oh! I love Kingdom Hearts! Let's play!

  • *Mumbling* When they finally make another goddamn game...

  • Okay so - oh - I have exactly 248 SGD.

  • I can get "Shades of Love."

  • I don't know if I want that, but let's do it!

  • Yeah! Okay!

  • Spreadsheet! (Brief porn music)

  • (Footsteps) Ah! That was quick!

  • I mean, not me -- I'm just sayin'!

  • They're a little rapid to getting here.

  • (Porn music) *pervy laughter*

  • (Female e-voice) Unf. *Mark* Eeh!

  • (Female e-voice) Unf. *Mark* Ah!

  • (Footsteps) Goddammit! Let me do my work in peace!

  • What are you even doing looking at -- you're not even doing anything!

  • (Music resumes)

  • (Female e-voice) Unf. Unf. (Male e-voice) Oh. *Mark* Eeh. Ooh. Eeh-

  • GODDAMMIT! Come on!

  • Oh, I didn't equip it!

  • Ohhhh! CATCH ME!

  • Catch me looking at it. (Music resumes) Please, catch me looking at it.

  • OH! I'm a perrrrrrrrvert! Oh, I'm perverrrrrrrrrrrted!

  • *Mark* Oh, I'm a sexual dieeeviant! Oh no! (Female e-voice) Goddammit Mark, how did you manage to mess even this up?

  • *Mark* Oh no! Hope no one caaatches me! (Female e-voice) This is literally such a simple concept.

  • *Mark* C'mon! Start over! I want the other one! (Female e-voice) You have like three buttons to press.

  • I don't want this one!

  • (Alarm sounds) Oh, no...

  • "Dear Stephan the Stal" --

  • "The Stallion?"

  • Woo!

  • Excuse me -- WOO!

  • "I saw what you did, and I like what I see. I'm sorry that I got you fired, but I had to protect my good name. Please meet me later.

  • Waiting eagerly, Sora"

  • Now I've got "Shades of Love" equipped

  • (Squeaking wheels) Not already! Geezums! Stop it! You're so depressing.

  • Wait, there's no noise.

  • (Male e-voice moaning)

  • It's weirder that this is completely silent.

  • (Moaning continues) I mean, besides the moans, it's just making it...

  • ...Incredibly awkward. I'm pretty sure there was supposed to be some sound accompaniment to that.

  • (Female e-voice) Smack Dat (Male e-voice) All on the floor. *Mark* NOPE. This is - this is

  • (Female e-voice) Smack dat. (Male e-voice) Give me some more. *Mark* DEAD silent.

  • There - there ain't a lick of sound nowhere to be had!

  • It is super awkward.

  • (Male and female e-voices in the throws of "passion")

  • (Mark regrets his every decision up to this point, this is a new low )

  • ( Nod )

  • *Singing* Spreadsheet, spreadsheet. Looking at the spreadsheet. Bleh bleh, bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh

  • I gotta go all the way to the 20th? Geezums.

  • Geez! If I've gotta go all the way to the 20th, this is gonna take foreeever.

  • Ughhhh!

  • "Well Hello Dear Player..." OH! It's done!

  • "This is the end of the NSFW alpha. This game will have more stories and mode

  • It will also have more videos - WINK!

  • Press escape to exit. Sincerely, Game Designer"

  • Well then! I - I guess that's the end of the game. So... that was actually interesting.

  • I'm sorry that this "Let's Play" was SO inappropriate for everyone watching.

  • Not just because of the content therein, but because my humor is

  • SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Deadly.

  • Even that, I didn't think landed.

  • What I'm trying to say is that I'm not funny but at least you enjoyed the video maybe hopefully,

  • So let me know what you thought in the comments below (laughing)

  • And then, uh, HOPEFULLY I'll see you at the next video!

  • *Laughing* I don't know if you kinda just wanna bail on everything after this one

  • You're like, "OKAY! That's enough Markiplier for one lifetime. I'm gonna -- I'm gonna skedaddle on outta here.

  • So, see you guys in the next -- next "Let's Play"-er that comes along. See you guys! Alright!"

  • That was you, by the way. That was -- that was you.

  • Anyway, thank you everybody so much for watching.

  • And as always, I will see you in the next video! Buh-bye!

Hello, everybody my name is Markiplier!

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PORN WATCHING SIMULATOR|N.S.F.W. (Not a Simulator For Working) (PORN WATCHING SIMULATOR | N.S.F.W (Not a Simulator For Working))

  • 183 1
    榮得傑 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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