Placeholder Image

字幕表 動画を再生する

  • Welcome to ENGLISH FOR MANAGERS, TAPE ONE.

  • Listen and repeat.

  • Tape one. Listen and repeat.

  • We will enable timely, knowledge-based decision-making

  • based on real-time information

  • by implementing an enterprise resource management system.

  • We will entangle timid, college-based precision markets

  • based on full-time repudiation

  • by instigating a... something, something. Whatever.

  • Very good.

  • Really?

  • I thought I missed a word.

  • They say they're slow, but they're not.

  • [EXPLOSION]

  • [music]

  • [CHANTING]

  • [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

  • I just want to take this opportunity

  • to thank you all

  • for participating

  • in our company's mandatory blood drive.

  • You really are the life blood OF THIS COMPANY.

  • [CHUCKLES]

  • [LISTLESS CHUCKLES]

  • [LOUD LAUGHTER]

  • Oh.

  • Rose, you are like

  • the fresh dew on a morning flower.

  • My heart yearns for you.

  • Your soft skin.

  • Your triangle hair.

  • Your lips

  • like two tiny sausages stacked upon each other.

  • Death row is a lonely place, my precious.

  • The only things to occupy the empty hours

  • are thoughts of you

  • and the contraband I have hidden in my colon.

  • My dying wish, Alice, is for your hand in marriage.

  • That is so romantic.

  • All my love, Vince.

  • P.S. Please respond before next Friday at noon.

  • What if I don't have any extra blood?

  • Maybe I only have exactly enough.

  • Everyone has extra blood.

  • It doesn't matter anyway.

  • You'll never get past the screening process.

  • I will now read a list of disqualifying conditions.

  • Please leave the auditorium

  • if any of the following apply to you.

  • "Are you now or have you ever been... Wally?"

  • Yes. First one out.

  • Repeat.

  • The disconnects between gross margin and leverage

  • will be harnessed for commercial ventures.

  • The discotheques between gross margarine and beverages

  • will be harmless to your dentures.

  • Very good.

  • [CHORTLING]

  • Now close your eyes

  • and visualize each word as you say it.

  • Imagine the word "vision."

  • Try to see it in your mind.

  • Is it black?

  • Have you gotten any tattoos in the last six months?

  • Have you had intimate physical relations with anyone

  • in the past 10 years?

  • Not really,

  • but I'm trying to build a reputation.

  • With your eyes still closed,

  • imagine a picture

  • that corresponds with the phrase

  • "a commitment to synergy."

  • I see it. It's like some sort of two-headed woodchuck,

  • or is it a beaver?

  • Can you get a clean shot at his tires?

  • I think I can hit the spare tire in the back.

  • Wait.

  • He stopped.

  • music Infinity bottles Of beer on the wall music

  • music Infinity bottles of beer music

  • music If one of those bottles Should happen to fall music

  • music Infinity bottles Of beer on the wall... music

  • Come on! I can't take

  • Another four hours of this.

  • Go! Go! Go!

  • music Infinity bottles of beer on the wall... music

  • Will you just shut up?

  • You have infinite beer on the wall, okay?

  • It will never be fewer.

  • Now put your hands out to your sides

  • and wave them, slowly.

  • Can you imagine if something

  • were to happen to this bus, Helmut?

  • The sciences of physics, chemistry,

  • mathematics and medicine

  • are wiped out in a stroke.

  • And economics.

  • Economics is not a science and never will be!

  • He's waving us on.

  • Finally.

  • All units.

  • He's heading for a large business campus.

  • Prepare to intercept.

  • Are you telling me

  • you haven't done anything on this list?

  • I've been very busy.

  • All right, roll up your sleeve.

  • Whoo.

  • Isn't that the fifth bag?

  • We got a quota.

  • Can I have a cookie?

  • No, I ate them while you were bleeding.

  • All right, sharpshooters.

  • If you get a clear shot,

  • take it.

  • Uh... there's people in the way.

  • Aw, shoot.

  • [GUNFIRE]

  • Aw, shoot.

  • [GUNFIRE]

  • I've got to get me a new swear word.

  • The vehicle had no registration or plates

  • so we're hoping someone saw him.

  • Why would a vehicle need

  • registration and plates?

  • I'm just the sketch artist.

  • Oh, a specialist.

  • Well, I didn't exactly see the guy,

  • but from what I heard on the radio

  • I've got a pretty good idea

  • of what he looks like.

  • Can you describe him for me?

  • I could, but I'm extremely busy.

  • Wally!

  • Uh, I can't work too hard.

  • I almost gave blood today.

  • I want you to describe to these officers

  • the man I heard about

  • on the radio this morning.

  • What?

  • Be as specific as you can.

  • Don't leave out anything.

  • All right. I'll tell them everything you know.

  • [CHUCKLING]

  • These remind me of water balloons, except...

  • filled with blood.

  • Put that down.

  • It looks like

  • you have some extras.

  • All right, one bag,

  • but let me show you how to do it.

  • This psycho must have left a blood trail.

  • I want you to comb every inch of this area

  • for the killer's DNA.

  • Maybe we'll get lucky.

  • And don't let this crime scene

  • get contaminated.

  • [BOTH LAUGHING]

  • Good one, huh?

  • Nice shooting, yourself.

  • Well, thank you.

  • Driving without blood is surprisingly difficult.

  • [SIRENS]

  • Sir, how many drinks have you had this evening?

  • Nothing. I couldn't even get a cookie,

  • then a lady took all of my blood.

  • Okay, buddy, count backward from 100

  • using only prime numbers.

  • 97, 89, 83, 79, 73, 71...

  • Okay. No one likes a wiseass.

  • Get out of the car.

  • Attention all units. Attention all units.

  • Positive DNA match has been made

  • on the Nobel prize slaughter.

  • The suspect is Caucasian,

  • wearing glasses, in laughably bad shape,

  • and answers to the name "Dilbert."

  • Hey. That's me.

  • WOMAN: So with the Nobel prize killer

  • safely behind bars

  • looking at a swift execution

  • once the 40 to 75 years of appeals is over

  • and everyone associated with the case long dead,

  • strange men with incomprehensible theories

  • that can't be proven

  • can once again breathe a sigh of relief.

  • Mr. and Mrs. Fennerman?

  • Hi, I'm Alice.

  • I'm engaged to your son, Vince.

  • It is so nice to meet you, darling.

  • Here, do you need a sign?

  • That's okay. I have my own.

  • I don't understand.

  • Aren't you two getting married?

  • Yes.

  • We're going to spend the rest of our lives together.

  • Mark my words...

  • this marriage will never last.

  • Wow!

  • This cell is huge.

  • Sorry about the internet connection.

  • There's an internet connection?

  • Your cable modem's in the shop.

  • We're running you through the T-One until it gets back.

  • What's this?

  • Fan mail.

  • Probably a few marriage proposals.

  • For me?

  • Marriage proposals?

  • You're in for murder, right?

  • That's an aphrodisiac for the fairer sex.

  • You know, I'm actually innocent.

  • I wouldn't let that slip out.

  • Excuse me-- how did you decide

  • that five cigarettes was worth one candy bar?

  • Well... I was hungry.

  • First of all,

  • you should never barter on an empty stomach.

  • Second, this is much too inefficient.

  • So, everything used for barter

  • could be valued at a constant rate

  • relative to everything else.

  • For instance, a shampoo bottle of home-made gin

  • is equal to a clean toothbrush,

  • which is also equivalent

  • to an eight-ounce bar of chocolate

  • or five cigarettes.

  • Any questions?

  • Okay, one might wonder

  • what happens when a scarcity in a perishable commodity,

  • say chocolate,

  • causes a relative glut of another more durable item

  • such as erotic literature.

  • Anyone?

  • Yes?

  • We carve a potato into the shape of a gun

  • and cover it with shoe polish?

  • You could do that.

  • Or wait for the market to automatically adjust

  • to take into account the commodity imbalance,

  • thus moving the exchange rate to a new point of stability.

  • You can do all that without a potato?

  • Ay!

  • Chocolate at two-and-a-half cigarettes!

  • Chocolate at two-and-a-half!

  • Over here, Victoria's Secret.

  • Desserts, desserts!

  • I got Victoria's Secret.

  • How about 8-N-G-Y-4-3-2?

  • Let me check.

  • Boys! Boys!

  • You're sitting on a gold mine here.

  • Do you realize the license plate business

  • is a growth industry and a legal monopoly?

  • By automating your order flow and assembly process,

  • you'll increase productivity and reduce costs.

  • The guy who had this job before didn't train me.

  • Dead man walking!

  • Down the aisle.

  • PRIEST: We are gathered here today

  • to join two souls in holy matrimony

  • and to damn one of them to eternal hellfire.

  • I understand that you two have written your own vows.

  • Vince, who would've thought 10 years ago

  • that a grisly mass murder

  • would lead to such a blissful union?

  • You are my heart. You are my soul.

  • You make living worthwhile.

  • I look forward to spending