Welcome back.

Of course we wish we could all spend hours

in the kitchen slaving away over a paleo,

gluten-free, FODMAP-friendly, vegan dish,

but sometimes you only have five minutes to find dinner.

You're caught between a rock and a hard place.

That rock is Burger King,

and the hard place is McDonald's.

Hmmm.

Today we're gonna help you make the best

five-minute dinner choice by determining

which is unhealthier, the Big Mac or the Whopper.

It's time for Fast Food Faceoff,

Whopper Verses Big Mac Edition.

OK, right here we have a Big Mac and a Whopper,

and essentially what we're gonna be doing is

tasting these, and then making our individual determinations

as to which one has more calories, more fat,

and more sodium, and then by whichever majority

we have chosen, which one is the most unhealthy

according to our opinion.

Let's do this.

First off, let's talk about calories.

Now, listen.

This ain't the pretty commercial burger.

This is just what you get when you just go

to Burger King and say, "Whopper."

At least the one close to us.

That's what you get.

Oh, and just a note, when you say, "Whopper,"

you do not get cheese.

Right.

It's just Whopper.

Which is quite a disappointment.

If you forget to say, "Whopper with cheese."

But it also influences things.

It does, it's less calories.

I mean, that's pretty clear.

Because when you say, "Big Mac," it does have cheese.

It comes with two cheeses.

Two cheeses?

- [Link] Two slices of cheese.

- [Rhett] No, it doesn't.

What?

The top doesn't have cheese, man.

You've been missing out.

You misunderstanding a Big Mac all these years,

unless they've made a mistake.

No, they be givin' me extra cheese.

(laughing)

Alright, now I'm just thinking, right off the bat,

that a Whopper's bigger, more calories.

But a Big Mac's taller.

Who cares?

Which one's more volume?

Tallness has nothin' to do with calories, Rhett.

Only bigness.

I can eat more calories, and I'm tall.

Got a hangy-out pickle, there.

Now, I've got a sticker with my face on it

that represents what I'm voting for

as the unhealthiest.

Excuse me for talking with my mouth full,

but we ain't got time to chew. (chuckles)

Here.

I'm just going to swallow this whole.

Let me get a bite of that Whopper.

(hard swallowing)

This will be my side of the Whopper.

My side of the whopper.

My favorite book growing up was My Side of the Mountain.

So, I am saying that the Whopper

has more calories based on bigness alone,

and I'm giving you the advantage of going second.

Link, I usually don't trust you, but you're right.

- [Link] Let's move on to fat.

- [Rhett] There's a lot of mayonnaise on this.

I love a Big Mac.

I'm not gonna hate on the Whopper,

but when cheese is missing, I'm forlorn.

Hold on!

Hold on!

You compromised--

Listen, the whole point was to pick a side.

You just went on the same side.

Now I've got the either side, too.

I forgot.

No more Big Mac for you.

Now, I don't want the advantage

of you going second the second time,

so go ahead and vote.

What do you think has more fat?

And I think the secret, to me, as you vote,

is they like to put a lot of mayonnaise on a Whopper.

I just said that, and that's why I'm voting Whopper.

Oh, you said that?

Yeah.

Oh, dang it.

Changing my answer.

Big Mac has more fat.

Two words: special sauce.

Mmm-hmm.

Now, let's move on to sodium.

I am having a good time with you.

We should just hang out and eat burgers more often.

Yeah, man.

You don't have to hold my hand.

I'm not holding your hand.

I'm giving you a celebratory grip, man.

But it was kind of weird.

(laughing)

It's like, that's not how I want to celebrate with you.

I mean, a fist bump--

I didn't even get a bite out of it, man.

Mmm.

The charbroiled nature of the Whopper tries

to fool you into thinking that there's no salt in it,

because charbroil cancels out sodium.

I taste more salt in the Big Mac.

Don't be fooled by the charbroil, Rhett.

It's got a tanginess to it.

Boy, they're both good, though.

Oh, they're both so good.

I should eat more of this.

That's what I've learned today,

that I should just have more of both of these,

(Link laughing)

because I'm happy right now.

Alright, so, in summery, you are saying

that the Whopper is overall more unhealthy.

Well, so are you. (laughs)

And so am I.

Alright, so let's reveal, category by category.

First, calories.

Which one is more unhealthy?

(timpani ringing)

Wow. The Whopper.

The Whopper.

We were right.

OK, so we're both correct. (claps)

Now, fat.

(timpani ringing)

Eh, wow. Oh, the Whopper.

By a whopping margin.

You're taking the lead.

And sodium?

And sodium?

Whoa!

It's caught neck and neck.

It is more unhealthy in every way.

Twenty grams.

So, Rhett, I want to congratulate you.

I want to congratulate you, Link.

Let's have a burger.

I want you to have both of 'em.

You earned it.

And, click through to find out how you can turn

your pants into a spa.

You love to say it, and now your coffee will, too,

with this Boiled for Safety mug,

available at mythical.store.