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  • Now, I know what you're thinking.

  • How did this happen?

  • Well...

  • It's a long story.

  • Hey, I wonder what would happen if I wrapped this chain around myself

  • and jumped in this hole?

  • Actually, it's not that long a story, now that I think of it.

  • I thought I was gonna have to take this from you!

  • But if you're just gonna give it to me,

  • cheers.

  • Oh, I don't believe it.

  • Me, my father, Vision, now you??

  • Is there anyone who isn't worthy of this whore of a hammer?

  • It's lost all its cachet!

  • Dude!

  • My hammer just got nailed!

  • Buddy you're a god, making lightning Zapping all your foes

  • Gonna take on Thanos some day

  • You got red on your face In outer space

  • Swinging your hammer all over the place, singing

  • WE WILL RAGNAROK YOU!

  • Door not open fast enough!

  • Uh, yeah, we really need to do something about those doors.

  • Must go faster.

  • YES!!!

  • We know each other!

  • He's a friend from work!

  • I even agreed to cover his last five shifts for him!

  • Oh crap.

  • You missed your last five shifts!

  • What up, Doc?

  • Thor said he'd cover for me.

  • Thor is on paid leave!

  • Went to visit some... haemorrhoid prevention clinic.

  • "Ass-guard" or som'n.

  • He ain't covering no shifts!

  • But...

  • He promised me.

  • Well, he lied.

  • Man, clean out your locker - your ass is fired.

  • You can't do that!

  • Well hell yeah I can!

  • The name's Fury, son!

  • I will strike thee down!

  • Yeeaah!

  • Kiss goodbye to all them late night stake-outs with Romanoff, playa!

  • Some other dude gonna be keeping her company in the wee hours.

  • I'm sorry Bruce! I just forgot!

  • Where are we?

  • My summer home.

  • The decor is horrendous but the view is spectacular.

  • I'll be guiding this sleigh tonight.

  • Asgard will be reborn in my image.

  • Alright!

  • Asgard's gonna be hot!

  • No kidding.

  • Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot!!!

  • Oh, I've missed this!

  • It's funny...

  • You never appreciate how much mass genocide truly means to you

  • until it's been absent from your life for a stretch.

  • I got a hair cut, lost my flowing hippie locks..

  • and you and I had a fight recently, which, I won. Easily.

  • That doesn't sound right.

  • Well, it's true. And I have the photo to prove it.

  • See that's me there, kicking your little green butt.

  • I stand corrected.

  • Who's stupid idea was this?

  • Barry's!

  • No, I said flying saucers, not flying horses!

  • [COLLECTIVE GROAN]

  • Ah, that would've worked!

  • Banner, why is Loki chained up in your bedroom?

  • Because I've been a very naughty boy, haven't I Brucey?

  • I didn't do this!

  • The Hulk must've done it!

  • Don't be coy, big boy.

  • When you said you were bringing back friends

  • I never expected my own brother.

  • You have a dirty mind and I like it.

  • Rowr!

  • Banner...

  • I first want to say that...

  • I'm flattered.

  • Hello.

  • Hi.

  • Should always make sure the gun works before announcing one's presence.

  • Who needs space guns when you have small knives?

  • Ooh, that hurt.

  • Roar!

  • What?

  • I was feeling left out.

  • I'm not a queen.

  • Or a monster.

  • I'm the Goddess of Death.

  • And frankly I'm offended you haven't heard of me!

  • I am a huge deal!

  • And if I didn't kill everyone I meet,

  • a lot of folks would be talking about me!

  • Now remember, when we introduce ourselves,

  • I'll speak first and say,

  • "Hello, Hela. We are..."

  • And then I'll pause for a second, so we can all collectively say,

  • The Asgardians of the Galaxy!

  • Woah, woah, woah!

  • Time out!

  • What were you the God of again?

  • I am the God of Static Electricity.

  • Brush against my skin at your peril!

  • We're the same, you and I.

  • Just a couple of hot-headed fools.

  • Yeah, same.

  • Hulk like raging volcano.

  • Thor like... wisp of steam from

  • cup of chamomile tea.

  • It's obvious that your just lashing out because I'm worthy and your not.

  • Oh, make it stop.

  • He looked much smaller from a distance.

  • [THOR] OK, so "Asgardians of the Galaxy" is... mostly taken.

  • How's this for an even better name?

  • We're a league of heroes, we're out seeking justice...

  • We're the "Justice League".

  • [VALKYRIE] Thor, that name is being used by a competing brand.

  • [THOR] OK, how 'bout this?

  • We're a squad...

  • and this could almost be considered a suicide mission...

  • "Suicide Squad".

  • [HULK] Name also taken.

  • [THOR] Ok, fine. Let's keep it simple.

  • We're avenging Asgard.

  • We're "The Avengers.

  • [LOKI] Moron!

  • Not only is that an existing team,

  • you yourself are an original member!

  • [THOR] OK, let's work on the theme song. I'm hearing something like...

  • ♪ "Thor!"

  • ♪ "Huh!"

  • ♪ "He's a god, y'all!"

  • ♪ "What is he good for? Generating lighting..."

  • ♪ "Uh-huh!"

  • [VALKYRIE] There is no way I''m singing that.

  • [THOR] Wait, I've got it!

  • There's four of us...

  • and we're all pretty fantastic...!

  • [ALL THREE] NOOOO!!!

  • [HULK] Thor stupid!

  • [THOR] Alright. I've got the perfect name for us.

  • "Thor and the... three... unsupportive...

  • insensitive... condescending killjoys!"

  • Bet that ones not taken!

  • [HULK] That name...

  • available.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

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ソー:ラグナロク』予告編スプーフ - TOON SANDWICH (Thor: Ragnarok Trailer Spoof - TOON SANDWICH)

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    毓青曾 に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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