Man vs. Pin

At this f*cking point it feels

like Man vs. Roses

because

I'm not sure if you were here for the video that I released a couple days ago

where I made wire roses

Out of wire

I thought that maybe that would be a good idea

Turns out that it's not

It looks like an egg beater

They're all tangled together and whatnot.

This could be a perfect whisk

Rob: Yeah- no, no, I got it. It's a- it's a rose

Needless to say, uh,

Moral of the story, don't give your significant other

A bouquet of junk

For Valentine's Day

So I promised I would make it up to her, but that means

Pulling out the f*cking big guns.

Now, if you know Corinne

You know that she is a big fan of the pizza.

And so when I saw this on f*cking Pinterest the other day

I knew that this was the f*cking bouquet of roses

That needed to be made.

Pizza roses! Boom.

*kaboom*

F*cking ge - I - Genius!

Just genius!

Pin-O-Meter! What do you think Buddy?

You. Right there.

Maybe you should just buy Corinne some real roses

You cheap son of a bitch

Eh, you know, I hadn't really thought about that

Instead I walked right past the flower section, actually.

Uh, and I got a bunch of pizza-making supplies.

I got, uh, some pizza dough.

Premade because f*ck all that nonsense.

I'm not going through that process.

Pepperoni

Mozzarella cheese

Basil

And, uh, all the rest of the bullsh*t that I needed.

Let's f*cking do this thing

Step One: Get yourself some, uh...

papier parchemin?

Oh, parchment paper! Get yourself some parchment paper.

And then you got this pizza dough over here

Oh, God damn it

I need a f*cking roller to roll this f*cking sh*t out

Got the f*cking roller

Flour... right?

I think that's what all the f*cking pros do, right?

Then you take this. You do a little bit of this

I think that's called kneading the dough

Flip it in the air a little bit

Hey, ho, what do you know?

I speak Italian.

F*cking Buca di Beppo, eh?

All right, and now, I think you take this thing and you do a little...

Oh, that feels good.

Parchment paper probably...

Just gonna take that out of the way

You're not helping.

'kay, here we go. Here we go.

nope nope nope nope nope

This is a f*cking workout!

Whoo!

What the f*ck is even happening with this dough?

Damn it, it's sticking to the f*cking table everywhere.

I've seen this before in the f*cking... in the movies

With the... with the fists.

Oh, come on!

This is f*cking bullsh*t

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Oh. You're still there.

All right! Let's, uhhh...

Figure this out.

I'm gonna get a- I'm gonna get a marble slab

Maybe that'll work. I don't f*cking know.

Here we go. Marble slab

Some flour on there

Knead the sh*t out of this thing

Not sure how much better this is, but it's not sticking.

You have better f*cking love the f*ck out of whoever you are giving this f*cking thing to

Because let me tell you what

This is not an easy job

Rolling out f*cking dough

All right, that is close enough.

All right, now I'm taking the pizza cutter.

Oh, that's nice. Look at that!

Some professional f*cking sh*t here. Boom.

NICE

Good f*cking job!

Not you, me. Just so the record is clear.

So I got my strips, now I'm just gonna take this, uh

marinara sauce.

Okay. F*ckin' got it. Whoo!

All right, now you just wanna take that

marinara sauce and you just kinda want to give it a sweet little f*ckin' coat to it all.

Looking pretty good so far.

I mean, it's basic pizza sh*t.

Marinara sauce, mozzarella, or as they say la MOOZARELL.

The cheese, this is like the glue that holds it all together. So, you know, be generous if you like glue

*Sigh*

Then you just f*cking pile up these pepperoni.

This is what love is, by the way.

Pizza. That's it. That's all it is.

Now you just fold this up along the edge.

I think that's how I remember it.

And then watch this sh*t. Now you just roll it.

Whaaat?!

That is some f*cking pro sh*t!

This is f*cking amazing!

Alright, I'm excited.

And now take your little cupcake tin over here, spray some sh*t down.

And pop that one in! Boom.

Now I'm just gonna take this size and this size

and kinda create like a little f*cking

big petal little petal kinda bullsh*t right here.

This is gonna, this is where it gets artistic

Then you put the cheese on

you close it up like a little pizza taco!

Look at that!

Can you see that?

That's some real f*cking deal rose-sh*t right there.

Alright! Back in focus here.

Lookin' pretty good!

Oh Yeah! This is such a good idea!

The next step, takin' 'em to the oven!

And I'm just throwin' them, uh, into a preheated 350 degree oven for... I don't know. Let's say 20 minutes.

Oh sh*t! Here they are.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Damn!

*beep* Shut the f*ck up!

Oh sh*t!

Alright! Here they are!

Look at this one! oh! Woo!

They're hot they're hot they're hot they're hot they're hot!

And they're soft.

Agh! God damn it!

Tray is still hot. Tray. Is still. Hot.

Woo!

Alright.

Ow! God damn it!

These look f*cking amazing!

Oh my God, I can't wait to eat one of these f*cking things.

Whaaat in the actual f*ck?!

Then you take this f*cking basil over here and watch this sh*t.

Ooooh! Damn!

That is some f*cking

Chef Boyardee f*cking bullsh*t right there!

Damn! I'm good.

That's the f*cking thumbnail right there!

Alright, she's gonna f*cking...

This is it! Alright, I gotta deliver 'em.

While they're hot! I gotta get 'em outta here!

Here they come! Pizza roses!

Actually I'm gonna...

heh...

I'm actually gonna taste one of these myself.

First!

Oh my God!

Mmmm!

Yes!

Ok... enough... I'm gonna take these down to Corinne.

Look at that!

Alright, come on!

Don't fall down the stairs.

Don't fall down the stairs.

Don't fall down the stairs.

Happyyyyyy Valentine's Dayyyyyy

Pizza Roses!

C: Wow!

R: Huh?!

C: I'm pretty impressed

that's a good God damn idea!

R: A little bit better than last time!

C: Ah

Definitely better than the last round of roses.

It's pretty f*cking clever.

I am blown away.

R: Oh, are you?

C: I am, I may shed a tear.

R: These are f*cking delicious lookin'.

C: This is the best thing you've ever done for me.

R: What?!

C: Uh, I mean, yeah.

I mean, can I eat one?

R: Yeah!

C: Where are the f*cking stems?

R: It's a plate. It's a whole thing.

R: The basil...

C: It is pretty with the basil. Oh yeah. That's a good idea.

C: You didn't even... What the f*ck is this?

R: It's just the basil.

C: You didn't take it apart or anything

C:Which way? Just like-

R: Epic Meal Time that sh*t!

C: Haha. Ok

R: Oooh! Yeaaaahhh!

R: Huh?!

C: HmHm

R: Now I gotta eat one of these too-

C: Yeah, I think you should try it.

C: Is there cheese in here?

R: Yeah!

R: Well that's the tip: More cheese!

C: Hehehe

R: But otherwise "Today success!"

C: Yeah, they're pretty delicious.

R: Cheers!

R: To pizza roses.

C: Did you have to wipe it on my hand?

C: Ok... Alright...Thanks...

C: What are you really getting me for Valentine's Day?

R: I dunno.

C: It's a dumb holiday anyway. So don't... I don't really want anything.

R: You heard it straight from her mouth

she doesn't want anything.

Awesome! I'll just take these back then.

C: Wait! I do now, wait wait wait! No no no

R: No, no, I'm sorry.

Just take these back right here.

C: Hehehe... Stop!

R: Let go, let go.

C: No!

They're mine!

Go away!

R: Hehehe... Happy Valentine's Day!

C: Bye!

Hahaha

Agh!

R: Hahahahaha

Nice!

Mmmm!

So good!

Pizza roses!

We did it!

Woo!

Possibly the greatest DIY project

that this channel has ever seen!

Maybe will ever see!

I don't know.

If you are going to give your

loved ones something for this

Valentine's day season

f*ck the real flowers

get the f*cking pizza roses.

Food is always, is ALWAYS the way to go.

That's my one piece of advice for you

this Valentine's Day.

Uh, the other is that you should subscribe

if you haven't already to this channel.

You should hit up the like button

if you haven't done that already on this video.

Become part of the "Notification Squad"

You know what I mean.

Uh, these actually, uh, are in our

DFTBA Threadbanger Merch Store.

Get it! It's red!

Get it, you know, for somebody special

for Valentine's Day.

You know what I mean?

Leave future comments down below.

Uh, if you see any other roses out there

made out of f*cking crazy bullsh*t

I wanna make 'em. I wanna see 'em. I wanna do 'em.

Uhhhh, and until then

I'll see you next time!

Happy Valentine's Day