First one's from @JarenMcCormic.

She says, "My kid told me that my butt looked like a bag full of chicken nuggets."

Is that weird?

Yea, it's weird.

- Or more of a truth teller? - No, it's weird.

This one's from @mollyligonn.

She says, "My nephew once sneezed out a Sour Patch Kid. I still have no idea where it came from."

He hasn't eaten one of those in ten years. - I found them on the sidewalk.

This one's from @facelessukulele.

Love faceless.

That name is taken on Twitter so...

She says, "One of the kids in my class came out of the bathroom and quietly said to himself, 'Well that hurt...'"

(laughing)

This one's from @timdrake.

He says, "My friend's kid will just stare at him and meow when he's hungry, since that's what the cat does to get food."

Meow, meow.

This one's from @jodyandmatt.

She says, "My son told his class that my job is that 'I stand at a hotel and guys come to see me.' I work at the front desk."

Guys come to see...? (laughing)

She never stays the night, she's only there for few hours a day.

And then she gets paid.

This one's from @BaristaSimmer.

She says, "When I caught my daughter picking her nose, she said 'I'm putting it back in.'"

The Sour Patch Kid.

It was a Sour Patch Kid.

This one from @jehedgesphoto.

She says, "My 9-year-old daughter asked, 'Mommy when I grow up, will my boobs be as long as yours?'"

(speechless)

Go to bed!

This one's from @TMCully.

She says, "Found this on the dining room wall. Asked our 4-year-old son what it meant; He said, 'You can't know.'"

It says "Horse Hair."

That's weird.

What does that mean?

- You can't know.

- You must never find out.

Horse Hair.

Last one's from @Jenboston. This is a photo.

She says, "My 3-year-old asks to have her picture taken with store mannequins."

Here's the photo.

That's cute. That's cute.

Here you go.

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