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  • Buck. Do you remember me?

  • Your mum's name was Sarah.

  • And you used to wear her clothes and make-up.

  • He doesn't remember me. He's confused. It's classic amnesia.

  • Buck, people who think you're still an asshole are coming.

  • And they're not planning on taking you alive.

  • Just once I'd like to meet a SWAT team who'll take me as I am!

  • Better jump off a building and save them the trouble!

  • Captain, while a great many people see you as a hero,

  • there are some who prefer the word "heartbreaker".

  • - Myself included. - Ew.

  • Just complete and sign this 470-page document

  • confessing your crimes, Captain Cock-tease.

  • I know how much that amputated emo means to you.

  • Stay out of this one.

  • C'mon, Tash. I thought we had a thing, you and I.

  • Steve, my porn name is "Black Widow" for a reason.

  • Captain. You seem a little defensive.

  • It's probably the shield.

  • If we can't accept limitations...

  • We're no better than the bad guys.

  • That's not the way I see it.

  • Sometimes I want to punch you in your perfect teeth.

  • Hey!

  • Guess this was one of those times.

  • You know what's about to happen.

  • Whoa!

  • Do you really want to punch your way out of this?

  • I would never punch a smoking hot babe.

  • Maybe I can spank my way out of it?

  • Aaargh! I deserved that!

  • And I want my own action figure, damn it.

  • Check it out - it's Black Panther.

  • - And Pink Panther. - Allo!

  • - What do we do? - We fight.

  • Yeah, I'm here to fight. I'm just asking if you have some kind of strategy in mi--

  • AAAARGH!

  • Oh shit! He's got claws, man!

  • Sir, please let go of the helicopter.

  • It does not belong to you.

  • Sorry, Tony.

  • You know I wouldn't do this if I had any other choice.

  • But he's my friend.

  • So was I.

  • Jarvis, unfriend Captain America.

  • - Right away, sir. - Hurts, doesn't it?

  • Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

  • Wait wait wait! Two against one is totally unfair.

  • That's better. OK, come at me, "First Avenger".

  • What?

  • [IRON MAN] OK, we're choosing teams for Civil War, and I choose my BFF, War Machine.

  • [WAR MACHINE] Bad boys for live, huh Tony?

  • [CAPTAIN AMERICA] Damn it! I was gonna choose War Machine.

  • Fine. Well, then I guess I have to choose my friend, Falcon.

  • - [FALCON] Thanks man. I appreciate it. - [CAP] Oh shut up! All you can do is fly.

  • Vision can fly, but he's also got kick-ass powers.

  • - [IRON MAN] I choose Vision. - [CAP] Damn it! That was gonna be my next pick.

  • [VISION] Thank you for your confidence, sirs.

  • [CAP] Alright, well I choose Scarlet Witch. Yeah? You wanna talk about powers?

  • [SCARLET WITCH] Da. You have chosen well, Mr Rogers.

  • [CAP] I... prefer to be called "Captain".

  • [SCARLET WITCH] But I do not practice violence against humans.

  • - [CAP] What? - [SW] Ever since my parents were killed--

  • [CAP] Oh, screw your parents! We gotta win this bitch!

  • - [IRON MAN] I choose Spider-man. - [CAP] What? I didn't even SEE Spider-man!

Buck. Do you remember me?

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キャプテン・アメリカ シビル・ウォー 予告編スプーフ - TOON SANDWICH (Captain America Civil War Trailer Spoof - TOON SANDWICH)

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    Mine Shi Lee に公開 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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