Holy (beep).

(instrumental)

- Korean face masks,

my girlfriend loves these,

and honestly they just look terrifying on her.

- I know nothing about Korean skin care.

- I've seen some K-pop stars

and they look very smooth?

- Apparently, this stuff is like miraculous.

- Snail spit is a thing.

- I'm ready to look flawless.

- [Steven] Alright, butterfly eyes.

Perfect for my problem area.

- Okay, so brightens me up.

I'm ready to be brightened.

- Get a first, first a nice whiff.

- Slimy in there. Eww.

(instrumental)

- Just keeping these up.

Hideaway like a little ghost.

- Oh, I feel like a Luby superhero.

- Yeah, this just feels like there's a used condom

on my face, not that I would know

what that feels like.

- I feel my skin is like drinking water.

- I'm hoping this makes my skin tighter.

- It's just, like, not the best looking thing,

but it feels great.

Yes!

I'm going to be a tiger.

- You know, I don't get pampered enough,

so this is perfect.

- This is horrifying.

This is horrifying.

- The fuck, is this a fruit roll up?

- Beauty, here I come!

- Oh, I feel so good!

- Oh, it's so cold!

- Wait, let me see myself.

Okay I've got to take this off.

(laughs)

(laughs)

- Jesus Christ.

- My roommate will wear these

and she'll come out of her room and she'll be like,

hi, how's it going,

and I'll be like, oh my god.

- You remember that movie, The Mask, with Jim Carey?

That was based of the horrifying

true story of this mask.

- If this were just my dating profile,

just me out in the woods, sort of like,

- I'm wearing the skin of somebody I murdered.

- I actually want to look like this all the time.

Now I understand what furries are all about.

Milky Piggy Bubble Mask,

already a big fan of the milky piggy.

- I don't know how I feel about that texture.

- Aw man, I'm all captain crunchy and shit.

- Oh, it's itchy!

- Okay, I see you, Steven.

- Who's a milky piggy?

Me, me, me.

- Is it moving?

Oh my god, it's pop rocking on my face.

- God, it's all puffy.

It's all puffing up.

- This is so grotesque.

- Oh my god, I do look like Squidward.

- It's burning a little more than the other ones.

- It's like, tighter boning my face.

Make it stop!

Make it stop!

- There are tiny little elves just blowing on my face,

just like-

- I quit.

- You know, I had a great time with this.

(sighs)

- That was fun.

- My skin does feel less oily.

- No, it feels really good.

Steven probably pooped his pants

and couldn't handle it,

but that's okay.

- I'm going to go buy some of these and join my girlfriend.

- I don't want to see that in the mirror ever again.

Out behind a corner you see me jump out,

like I'm here, too.

That'd be a happy sight for anyone.