likeable hosts on television

and it's largely due to the types

of the jokes she makes.

Almost every host is funny

but Ellen's style of comedy

has a way of it instantly endearing

her guests to her.

With… Where will you raise the boy?

(laughs)

You are funny, Ellen.

So today we're going to talk about

the most common types of jokes

that Ellen makes,

how you can use those jokes

to get people to immediately like you,

and some habits that you can work on

to generally be funnier

and more positive throughout your day.

So let's start with the obvious -- since Ellen

is at her core a comedienne, her jokes.

Here's an example of the typical joke

that Ellen might crack.

Robyn, when were you born? What year?

'88.

'88?

1988. Yeah.

I've shoes that are, like, from '88.

(audience laughs)

I still have a couple of vests

that I wear from '88.

(laughs)

But we could talk about Ellen's style

of understated humor and how that's

different from someone like Jim Carey,

but what's most important here

is to note that Ellen's jokes

don't hurt anyone.

So often when the people

in our lives crack jokes, the room laughs

but someone there feels crappy --

that person is the butt of the joke.

For an example of this,

check out one of the few times

that I actually saw Ellen actually make a joke

at someone's expense.

…and I have to say, one of the most amazing

Liza Minnelli impersonator I have ever seen

in my entire life is the… really, seriously…

(audience applauds)

good job, sir. I mean, that is really…

(audience laughs)

You can tell by the grimace that Liza Minnelli

doesn't feel particularly good about that joke.

Now, luckily, Ellen doesn't crack

that type of joke often

but it does serve as a good reminder.

Consistently making jokes

where there is a loser

might make people laugh in the moment

but it's going to alienate someone

and if you do that often enough,

you're going to alienate most everyone

and that's good to keep in mind

because that's how a lot of us are

especially with our friends.

Let's look at what Ellen does instead.

First off, she makes herself

the butt of some of her jokes often

comparing herself unfavorably to her guests.

This is classic self-deprecating humor

and is what was going on

in that first Rihanna clip.

I've shoes that are, like, from '88.

(audience laughs)

I still have a couple of vests

that I wear from '88.

And the same thing is going on here

where Ellen jokes about

how similar she is to Malala.

If you don't know who Malala is,

she won the Nobel Peace Prize at age 17

making her the youngest recipient ever.

We want them to take action,

we want them to do something

and it's important that

you highlight it to them.

Yes, exactly.

(audience applauds)

Eighteen years old.

Eighteen years old,

I was very similar to this.

(audience laughs)

An important side note

is that when we're breaking down a joke,

the literal words are less important

than the subtext because the subtext

is often opposite to what someone

is literally saying --

that's what makes it a joke.

For example, Ellen's word said

that she is like Malala

but we all understand the subtext to be

that Ellen was nothing like Malala

at age 18.

We also understand that to be a compliment.

She's saying how mature and

inspiring Malala is at only 18 years old.

Here's another example of a different joke.

See if you can identify the subtext here.

Ellen: That's lovely. Jennifer: It's a really good feeling.

And getting a deep breath.

Yeah, yeah.

That's the most important thing too.

Especially when you have bronchitis

like me right now.

(audience laughs)

Sorry.

I was like, "Come on, --

Yeah.

-- let's have more fun with it."

Oh! (laughs)

(audience laughs)

There's no words to this joke

but the subtext might be something like,

"Jennifer is sick and I don't want her

to touch me."

Now, this joke is technically

at Jennifer Lopez's expense.

After all, not wanting her to touch you

is in the subtext.

But this particular joke is harmless.

It's not going to alienate anybody

because most people are not insecure

about being sick.

Why?

Well, as a rule of thumb,

people are unlikely to be insecure

about things that are either temporary,

common or not core to their identity.

They are likely to be more insecure

about things that are permanent,

uncommon or core to their identity.

So this joke works and doesn't upset anybody

because even though J. Lo is the butt of it,

it's not something that J. Lo is likely

to get upset about.

You can call this type of joke "poking fun."

So let's check out another joke

with the same kind of structure

and again, see if you can identify the subtext.

Stay in school.

I'm sure these people went to college.

I mean, Amy Adams,

you went to college, right?

No.

Okay, we'll let… who cares?

(audience laughs)

The subtext of the first bit

is that Amy didn't go to college.

And again, this falls into the category

of poking fun.

It's something that she's unlikely

to be insecure about

because she is a wildly successful actress.

Now, this is important --

If she had not yet made it

and was seriously doubting whether or not

she had made the right choice to skip college,

this joke might have stung.

It might have upset her identity

and in that case,

it would have been a bad idea.

So context matters.

There's also a second joke that Ellen cracks.

The subtext of the second one was that

Amy is nominated twice for an Oscar.

That's actually a subtext that builds her up.

Hear this one here really quickly.

You're an amazing actress.

You're nominated, not one,

but two nominated films tonight

that you were in.

That's just…

(audience applauds)

That is so… what is the word for it…

selfish, I guess.

(audience laughs)

This is the gold standard of jokes

that create instant likeability.

You can call them "ego boosters"

because when you make people laugh

while commenting on how successful,

good-looking, kind or likeable they are,

they will immediately like you

and want to spend more time around you.

So reflecting back on the time that you

recently made people laugh, ask yourself.

What kinds of jokes were you making?

Were they self-deprecating, poking fun,

ego boosters or you're making jokes

that had a loser?

It's important to know because

the first three tend to improve relationships

while jokes that have losers can actually

be damaging to those relationships.

And if you're stumped, it's possible that

your jokes fall into a category

of jokes that are just silly.

These are jokes that make people laugh

simply because they're surprised to them.

For example, you might have a play on words

like this one.

Uh, amazing performance

and twelve years a slave,

she is from Kenya, she is a Kenyan

and Barkhad Abdi is here.

He is nominated for a Captain Phillips.

He's from Somalia, he is a Somali

so he knows a lot about wine

and that is impressive.

(audience laughs)

Or could be just a random surprise

like walking up behind someone

while their rehearsing

and making a bunch of noise.

The end bla la la…

Bla lalalala.

(laughs)

That's probably what it would sound like.

Did that mess you up?

It's exactly that. (laughs)

Or simply making something preposterous up

like Ellen does with Will Smith

when she tells him that he has

to finish hosting the Oscars for her.

They said, they said, that you…

I quit and you're taking over?

Wou-- (laughs)

Finish it for me.

Listen, Ellen had to leave...

We have opportunities to make these kinds

of silly jokes all day long but I noticed

that very few people actually do.

Once people move through life

on a kind of literal autopilot

even though we usually all laugh

when people are silly with us.

So the big questions is --

if silly is so much fun,

why is it so difficult for some people

and so easy for others?

Why do some people always give

the boring literal answer while others

have an easier time being playful?

Ellen provides a few clues

which you can incorporate into your own life

and these might seem random but a lot

of the goofy things that she does on her show

prime her to be playful for the rest of the day.

For instance, there is the mint toss

at the beginning of her show where she

chucks a mint in the air and tries to catch it.

…or not and because you make it

look crazy easy. I mean, it's insane.

I've tried it before and it's not as easy as

you make it look.

And I don't even know why I started that.

I just kind of love to have fun and sometimes

I think, "Why am I doing that?"

(audience laughs)

Walk out and throw a mint in the air.

And it's sort of just a challenge for myself

just to kind of start in a playful mood.

There's the constant dancing scene

goofing off which is something her show

has become famous for.

And of course, the games that she plays